Buzzkill of the Day

Well we had better get started.

I don't know what we're starting, but I'll take two!

You are going to both gonna havta be little smother than that if you re including me in all these white wimines.

sayin'

I'm smooth like Oil of Olay.

My Buzzkill was last week... Sunday. I relapsed and stayed away from home for 2 days.
All the stress took over me and I couldn't take it NO MORE!
My dad is having brain surgery on the 8th to get a biopsy of the spot on his brain. They have no idea what it is.
Haily has rumors pressing against her pituitary gland. That's what the MRI showed.
My family treats me like a piece of furniture, or some weird piece of artwork hanging on the wall.
SOOOOOOO RELAPSE FOR TWO SOLID DAYS ON PILLS.
Been back home for a week now and things are waaayyyy better between me and my hubby, but Dads cancer and Haily's tumors are still there. Life really can be too much sometimes huh? But God never gives you more than you can handle right?
The one silver lining to this? I have you guys to tell all this to, and that means more than you'll ever know.
Love you guys!

Thats a loud of buzzkill I am sorry. Vent away thats what the Cult does

My buzzkill feels stupid now but there is a 50 person que waiting to yell at me.

We're here, Winnie. Hugs.

I'm sorry to hear about your relapse and that Haily is unwell too.

Where did you go for those two days? Do your family know you relapsed?

Feel free to vent.

Hugs, Win. Be strong.

Ouch.

Take care Winnie.

Hattie they knew where I was, but not how crazy it was there. This girl I know and 2 guy guy roommates. They all shoot speed and stay up for days. They are batshit crazy!! My nerves were bad and the pills really weren't helping, and on top of it these crazy asses were up at all hours, doing drug deals, cleaning, organizing and endless chatter about nothing that went on for hours. The last night I was there, I had done a lot of pills and was kind of hyped and needed to come down. I was crying and asking them to find me something to help me. They all like left me on their speed buzzes, while I sat huddled on the couch in a crying anxiety mess. I called my husband and asked him to come get me. Thank God he had a little sympathy for me and did. And yes my family knows I relapsed and were truly disappointed in me as they should be. I've been sober for 9 years. I look back at those few nights as truly a nightmare and hard life lesson of where I don't want to go in my life. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe that was/is my lesson. "this is not you and you do need your family!" LESSON LEARNED!
Thanks so much all of you. I'm hanging in there and know things will be okay, but your kind words do help me an awful lot. I actually thought of you guys when I was gone those days.

I may be fucking myself. And this is a slight blend of TMI.
SO I like Cassie. Like a lot. Spending time with her, cuddling with her watching movies all of that is amazing and fun, We click and have this connection. But I also know I cant be in a relationship and she knows it too. I have been single for only 2 months(xia texted to remind me of that last night hahah)
A part of me wants to be with Cassie and a part of me wants to go out, have fun, date girls, kiss strangers and maybe have a few safe hookups.
I told Cassie I slept with a girl over this last weekend and she seemed fine with it. And she is speninding the evening with an old friend and there is a chance they will hook up. It slightly boths me but thats old habbits not wanting to die.
I am babbling becuase I feel like I might loose it a little more today.
What the fuck do you do when you realyl like someone but know you can get into a serious relationship and they know it too. But all you two want to do is hang out and spend time together.
The sex is great and has passion. The talks we have are great and she loves animals.

Blh ablah blah blah bitch bitch bitch, Imagine if I had real problems.

Yeah. tweekers aren't going to help you if you are acrying mess. all they want is someone to tweek with, not someone to actually take care of.

You need your family and I am glad they saved you and maybe this will help them realise thy need you and you can all communicate better and you yourself can get better.

That you aren't hiding relapsing is a big step. The times my friends have relapsed it was always attempted to be hidden. the last time I had to kick my friends door in and scream at her before she came clean about every thing but by then she was too far into it to get clean right away.

Keep talking and talking and don't let yourself hide what you want to hide and don't let anyone push you in a corner and dismiss the problems.

I have a good friend, and back when we first started being friends, we had talked about the fact that I had kind of liked her and she made it clear that she didn't feel that way about me. So I got over it, and we're still good friends. Except she seems to be worried that she's giving me signals or whatever. The other day, I helped her with dying her hair. Well, her mother seemed to think that that is sort of intimate, and apparently my friend has had a number of problems with guys in teh past getting the wrong idea. So now she's constantly telling me that she's not giving me signals, and not to take things the wrong way, and she decided we should talk about the hair dying thing, and it's just annoying because I told her I don't like her like that, just as friends, but I'm the one paying the price for what happened with these other guys.

Next time she asks you to help dry her hair or something similar say

"No. I don't want to send you the wrong signals."

I think people telling you whether or not they're giving you signals is a good thing. My classmate does all sorts of puzzles with me every day, plays with my hair, and still all I got so far was a reply to my Christmas message.

You'll always find yourself taking the blame or paying the price, as you put it, for whatever the fuck has happened before to the one you like. I pity every poor soul who might have liked me these past 2-3 years.

And when she is taken aback tell her

"I like you as a friend and am fine with just being friends, but I am still a man. And not a gay one. Let's not toy around."

And then firmly refuse to help her with whatever intimate thing.

But be wary. Doing so might make her like you.

I don't like being told this, because it stemmed from some bullshit that this bitch said in the past about her giving me signals. A girl we don't even talk to anymore. And I hate hearing it because it's like being rejected constantly despite the fact that I don't have feelings for her like that.

And I get what you're saying about your classmate, but it's not the same. I don't do those sort of things with her. She doesn't do those sort of things with me. She insults me half the time. It's her way of being. And I don't care. But there are no signals. And she's gotta remind me of that.

Whatever. I sent her a text telling her to stop saying it. She's probably not going to answer because she didn't seem interested in talking anymore tonight, but as long as I've said it, I'm fine.

Well, Pep, I would totally do that if that was part of my personality package. It's just not though. But it's a good idea. And thanks for the help

I don't have any desire to get combative or confront her, even indirectly, because I know her personality.

Fano, let me tell you my plan. Become a hermit, live in the woods. Have wild animals as my friends as I loose my mind. Its that or be driven crazy by a women.
haha

If I was you, I could do that. But since I've not experienced very much in my life, especially the important stuff... it's not really worth it. It's not that women drive me crazy, it's that they don't do it when they're with me.

I wasn't suggesting you be combative or confrontational.

Actually, it was an extremely flirtatious thing I was suggesting you do.

Most people would probably do well to ignore all of my advice anyway.

I already tried the extremely flirtatious route. It failed miserably.

I'm just goddamned confused at this point. and it hurts.

I havnt had that many experiences yet. What We all need is a vacation. Lets find an island?
My mind is someplace else. today

Sex, Noah. I'm talking about sex! Haha. You've had plenty.

You can never have enough. Ever.

You confuse me Fano.

I get why you reject most of my half baked advice on flirting and whatnot, I'd reject it too and it is half to make you maybe laugh anyway, but I will never understand why you also refuse the genuine observations, but then say things that completely conflict with the rejection of those observations.

I don't know?? I don't mean to. I'm only trying to do things that fit with who I am. I'm not trying to reject your advice. I guess I'm just not in the right mindset to discuss this clearly, I'm sorry. Believe me, I take all of your advice seriously.

I find that when it comes to these matters, my advice is quite helpful, but only when given in person. I'm not sure why that is.

Cleaning up puke. Makes me want to puke.

This is really horrible.

Motherhood is so fun.

Wow. A lot happened to you guys.

Winnie, tweekers will never have your wellbeing in mind.

Noah, I feel if you tell her what you're telling us, she will end the sex with you. If you really like the girl start making subtle romantic gestures. She will see how sweet you are and maybe want the same thing. Remember, start subtle. But get grander in the romance as time moves on.

Chris, sometimes it helps you grow as a person to "try on" a different trait once in a while. It doesn't fit with who you are? Sometimes it's cool to forget that once in a while. Never for good though. Pepper's onto something.

Me, I was depressed today. Like really sad. Sometimes I get the feeling that no one gives a damn about me although in the end I know this not to be true. I don't know what to do about my brain. I don't think I need medication. Seeing as I've never been so depressed that I can't get out of bed. I need a change. I don't know how though.

I admitted to someone today that I use humor as a way to hide that I'm afraid that no one cares. Like if I didn't make jokes, no one would even know I exist. I said it as a joke but goddamn if it isn't true.

Oh I told her how I feel and she figured out the rest. Her word were something along the lines of. "You just got out of a bad long term relationship and you need time to be single and find yourself." But still wants me around and wants me to come over tomorrow night. She is okay with everything oddly eough. I know she realyl likes me and doesnt want to mess anything up.

And mike Prozac, I would have had a long jump and a hard landing if it wasnt for this stuff. I know where your coming from.

"Hey hows your day."
(Mimics putting a gun to your head with a smile)
They laugh, you laugh. And pull the trigger.

Oh dear.

Winnie, I'm so sorry you're going through that. *hugs*
Kia Kaha. Be strong.

Mike, we care about ya. If you keep feeling bad you should talk to your doctor.

Noah, I don't think you should stress out so much about it. Just enjoy what's going on with this new chick.

Fano. The thing that I wonder is would she still want you to dye her hair etc if you had a girlfriend or she had a boyfriend? Would you still do it?

We all are communicating better. My husband has been my biggest cheerleader this week and he was the one who was the most upset. I told him tonight that I feel closer to him now, than I've ever felt in our 28 years together. He's been quite comforting, the opposite of what I expected, which in turn makes me want to be totally open to him and my true self. He's excepting me more and more for me and it has been really helping me with me. That's all I've ever wanted my whole life. Someone, anyone, that accepts me, with all the flaws and still holds on tight.
Pepper, I appreciate your words and if you lived near me, I would invite you over for Winnie and Pepper Day. You would bring one of your famous pies and I would make us big giant mugs of hot chocolate with all the marshmallows. We would each have one of my fuzzy blankets and we would snuggle in on the couch with our pie and hot chocolate and talk for hours.
Love ya Pep!

Yup what she/rosie said^

I'm Jack's backbone.

Yes. Me too.

And a Winnie and Pepper day sounds like awesomes wrapped in awesome snuggies.

Since everyone is buzzkilling and sharing and stuff, I think I should warn that I may get really out of it in the next couple of weeks, and/or disappear briefly. Nobody worry too bad if either happens please.

Bad days coming up, plus, on top, something else I am not ready to talk about yet.

Now I'm worried.

Oh shut up.

It is just a bad day I have to get through the same time every year. And then some other surprise thing that I'm not talking about yet (if at all).

Don't worry if I'm weird fro a bit.

Take care, Amber.

My buzzkill is that Lucy is still sick. I'm taking her back to the docs.

You are talking about not talking about it.

Good scene! lmfao Pretty much. I feel much like Scott, for the better part of my life. But,...*smh walks off in frustration*

Good luck (on your journey/endeavor), Amber.

Yeah Amber, *Hugs* on your bad day to get through and for you to get through it. Also, you know we're here if you ever do want to Tak about the other, and even if you don't.
Sarah, I hope Lucy gets better soon. I hate for little ones to be sick.
Noah, I'm like Sarah, you need to have fun with this new, carefree chic and let everything go. You deserve to have some fun with no worries.
And Mike, I do think you need to talk to a doctor of this continues. You don't want to get so far in the hole that it's a long way back out. I've been there, and that ain't no fun. Take care of yourself.

Yes, this.

EDIT_
Also, not everyone wants advice all the time, sometimes they just need to get something off their chest, and this is a good thread to do it in.

I'd be really scared of trying to keep up with you, but dammit, the feeling's mutual.

I'd be hard pressed to find someone who didn't want this.

Thanks everyone. I hope you all know there's more to me than just Sad Larry (as Dan calls the side of me I showcase in this thread)

Ah, but she does have a boyfriend. And of course I would do it, I didn't see anything intimate about it. And apparently, neither did she until her mother said something.

It's fine, I understand she's being cautious because of problems she's had in the past with guys getting the wrong signals and she knows that I did like her a bit before. But I realized last night that the girl I had really strong feelings for back in Tampa, the one who moved to Hawaii with her fiancé, she used to do the same thing, which is why it upset me so much.