Buzzkill of the Day

I do not want it.

You don't want it.

I need you to take me along to the fun parts of your life with cute girls(of age) and also when you go out drinking.

grumb grumble grumble.
Everything feels out of place. I think its just anxiety but I hate that lingering bastard.

I'll use you and I'll confuse you
And then I'll lose you
Still you won't suspect me.
~Ladytron by Bryan Ferry

This song in the background, as Tuffy approaches Alecia's sister-in-law.

The only buzzkill for today is that I dressed up for the second time to present and didn't end up presenting again. So that means I have to wear heels again next Monday.

So, next Monday, you will look amazing again. Pissed off, but amazing.

Exactly.

I'm sorry this was the buzzkill of your day, but this was HILARIOUS to me! Hehehe.

I share because I care.

I got a phone call from my friend (the one that brought her new boyfriend to visit, then broke up the week after) at quarter to midnight last night. She's three weeks pregnant with his baby and was hysterical. He doesn't want anything to do with it and her family are all saying she will ruin her life if she doesn't terminate it. Her flatmate doesn't know the situation but wants to kick her out and her parents won't let her go home.

She also works for her Dad but he's acting like if she makes "the wrong decision" she will be disowned. Her Mum told her that she'd ruined Christmas incidentally (!). I have said she can temporarily come stay with us.

She says she thinks she wants to keep the baby as she has nothing else in her life. I strongly disagreed and told her to think about it for a few days. She is seeing the doctor this morning and I will speak to her after that.

EDIT_ I feel like I am throwing all my personal life in here at the moment, so sorry about that!

No you're not! Don't be daft. You're nice letting her stay with you. Please keep me updated because actually, and I know this is rude, I'm very in to this girl's story. It doesn't sound like she has a good maturity level to have a baby, does she realise also that if she keeps it the guy isn't going to suddenly give a shit when it's born? Scary situation, I feel bad for her but I do think an abortion might be the safest thing to do =(

Since she split up with her long-term boyfriend (in late 2010) she's been steadily going more and more off the rails. It's a shame because she is a very loyal friend, but it's just getting harder and harder to tolerate her. My boyfriend tried to tell her to sort herself out a few months ago (and she agreed that she needed to), but hasn't. Sadly, she doesn't seem capable. For these reasons, along with the lack of support from her parents, ex-boyfriend, immininent lack of abode and job, I think she should have an abortion, but I don't want to seem like I'm pushing her into it like all her family and friends are.

Would she possibly consider adoption?

Valid point, but my gut says she wouldn't consider it.

I hope I can speak to her this evening.

How ironic that this post of mine is in the Buzzkill thread. Or maybe just convenient.

I got in trouble for this post.

He really needs to stop doing those things to you (pm me if you need met to edit this later, totally serious).

I know.

There are a lot of things I need to stop, or things I need to start, doing as well.

I am not innocent.

I do feel very alone, however.

He does need to stop this.

I am breaking out like a highschooler.

Urban myth: it's from all the sex!

Its from all the stress, new facewash, and lack of sleep.

God damn I really want a shower right now.

hahahahaha

I think because of all the stress I need a break, but she wants me to come over tonight. I never thought I would not be in the mood but having a room full of clutter waiting for me stresses me out.
Plus I someone having feelins towards me freaks me out because, well, I don't want to get involved in any situations outside of sexual for awhile. A good long while.
I also forgot my meds today and my heads a mess. Been babbling like a mad man, or typeing stream of thought shit for a good little bit now.

If she has the baby then the one week boyfriend she just dumped will be in her life for the rest of her life.

Someone should point that out to her.

Does she want to know that guy for the rest of her life? Not just know but have him be a part of her life in a very serious everything about her lifestyle is his business way?

I've had this in my head all day since I read those posts this morning.

That's funny Amber!!

Well, I got the last message of a friend who killed himself this past Saturday. It was a youtube link to a song. I don't want to share the song. It is the most contagiously depressing song I've ever heard. Its catchy, melancholy, well written and begs to be shared. Like in that "Lullaby" novel of Chuck's. It will murder. I'm breaking the link to sharing it, here.

I'm sorry about your friend.

Yeah, I'm sorry too. And I'm sorry that his last message was so sad. I never know what to say about suicide. It's so awful for the people who are left behind, but you can only hope that they found their peace before they left this world.

Thanks Amber. That song link. It's pretty haunting.

yeah I'm really sorry about your friend. It really is sad.

Hang in there, NewGirl.

She's being a dick, i.e. "Well, we won't need him. I mean, he will pay me money but he won't be a part of our lives. He made his choice." Urgh, this isn't fucking Eastenders dear.

Not that it makes the world of difference, but they had been dating for a month (and were official about two weeks later). Only fools rush in, sigh.

Stupid girl.

I'm sorry Hattie. I shouldn't call your friend stupid. But, really.

I can give you some serious horror stories if you need help knocking her over the head with how much the baby inside her will be the business of the guy who put it there no matter if he is a nice person or not.

I learned when my brother passed that even in death the body is the business of the father no matter if he was never there at all. The man held up the cremation for almost a week, with a legal right to do so, just to push his way.

Sorry, not trying to bring that up, I know I've never shut up about it. Just an example of what a fling that produces a baby can eventually lead to, no one should be so foolish to think "he won't be in our lives".

I hope things work out for the best for her, nonetheless. Don't let her kill your buzz too much.

I sound like I am trying to advocate termination, which I am not advocating either way, just that she uses her head about it no matter what she decides.

I am starting to believe that this wasn't even an accident. She told me she wasn't on the pill - which is free in the UK incidentally - let alone using condoms. Surely when you have unprotected sex, you take the morning after pill afterwards? Unless you want a baby, right?!

I give up.

She's a Drama Llama.

Good luck with that.

I'm okay. Thank you Sarah and Amber. Frank was many of my good friend's friend. Like, he was everyone else's best friend. Not mine. Just a nice guy to me. But I have to deal with a bunch of my good buddies all curled up in balls crying their eyes out. His ex-girlfriend in Italy has no one to talk to but me. Its pretty sad for her. And she just got a divorce, and was trying to find Frank.
It reminds me of what happened with me and my ex-fiance a few years ago. I was trying to find him, and he died within week, of a heart attack in his sleep.
In any case, we can't even be mad at Frank for leaving people like this. Because he was so nice. I know it was totally out of frustration of his own situation. Not one of those "they'll notice when I'm gone" things.
He must have been going through some real mental torture or got hold of some really intense drugs. Or both.
He was a total hedonist.

Hattie, I understand your friend. She is nesting. That's a real physiological effect of pregnancy. They don't want to move. Just want to make a home.

And she is trying to be strong and independent. Not wasting any energy trying to chase a man, when she should be concentrating on a million other things. Women of color go through this a lot. Its the reason my great grandma took a secondary education of teaching (even though she didn't have time to use it with 7 kids), grandma became a principal and my mom became a doctor. Women pushed to do it all. Not waste a second of time begging a man to help out. He should help or not. The men in our family are all man. RESPECT.
That guy who held up a baby's funeral is an ass, and it's not anyone else's fault.

Yeah, the not using birth control is stupid. Totally agree.

Yeah he was an ass.

You hang in there, Sema. being there for your friends will mean more than you can imagine. It is rough but I think you are tough cookies.

I try to be a good person. I try to be a nice guy. To make a friend. To do nice things for this friend, because she's my friend. She mentions going on Erasmus together. I don't know whether she meant it as a joke or not, but it wasn't a joke for me. I guess now she somehow thinks that I'm trying to follow her to whatever university she's going to and "harassing" her. Excuse me for trying to be your friend. Excuse me for trying to be nice. Fucking excuse me.

Just don't let that drama queen influence what you decided to do with your education and how/where you persue it.

Yeah. Thanks, Alecia.

.

Apparently my friend was just kidding, and because it was a text I didn't quite realize. Plus, I guess it doesn't help that I constantly doubt myself so it wouldn't seem such a shock for me to be rejected again. But that's not the case. She called me, told me she that nothing was wrong and that she would have used different language if there really was something wrong.

Good!

I'm sorry I called her a drama queen, then.

Ah, don't be sorry. She acts like a Drama Queen when she's fucking around.

Does anyone know any nasty spam sites (disgusting porn would be perfect) where I can enter people's e-mail addresses without infecting my computer? I am sick of all this junk mail I'm receiving. Each of the home insurance, life insurance, mortgage insurance, bank, plow services, yard services, cable, phone, etc., sales reps that fill my mailbox with junk mail everyday leaves an e-mail address. What I'd like to do is enter said e-mail addresses into a nasty spam site so Verizon, Time Warner, Dish Network, Key Bank, etc., will be plowed with these unwanted solicitations. I'm so sick of them.

Haha. You're gonna be busy for weeks!

heh.

If you are trying to 'Pull a Pepper' with all of these fullstops, you are doing it wrong.

I've never edited a thing for fear that someone I know in life will read it, only ever for fear that all of you I am writing it to in the first place will read it.