I'm sick too today. I blame Mike.

Bwahahaha-*coughhacksnotbubble*-aha

Customers were real assholes today and all at once. One lady apologized after acting like a bitch with me but she already ruined my day with her attitude that was uncalled for.

Uh oh, might be getting ill. I have a sore throat and I'm coughing. Oh well, best to get it over with now, before I go to The Netherlands.

The Netherlands means

CALVé pindakaas!

Oh dear, 1,500 words seemed like loads for this article but I'm doing it now and coming up to my word count and still have millions of things to say! AAAAARGH.

Fuck. Went out to finish shopping for my Secret Santa package, and I'm really ill now. Should never have gone out, ugh...

I did, however, finish shopping for the package, and Pål Martin will go to the post office for me soon.

Don't know where to post this, but I just feel like it. For no reason.

There are certain stories where even though you know what happens, it still chokes you up. That's a sign of great storytelling.

The following is a scene from a video game (gasp) that made me feel something. It was inspired by the death of the creator's mother. He wanted to depict death in a nonglamorous way and wanted to show that someone can stay with you even after death.

"Aerith will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry.....or get angry......."

We went to the in-laws for a bit of a break, but Lucy had the worst night she's had in a long time so I don't really feel rested at all.

Made a big point in refusing to do drugs last night (and didn't) but have ended up with a horrendous hangover instead. I swear I'm allergic to spirits.

I'm coming down with a bad cold that I don't have time for.

Everybody's getting colds now.

Day 5 for me. Feel the same as day 4. Not nearly as bad as the first 3 days. All I have left is dried mucus in my nose (occasionally still have to blow it) and a sore throat from my post nasal drip which causes me to cough sometimes.

My throat is killing me and I'm sniffling like crazy. I'm tired and achy all over.

I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. Got a fever on Saturday and it still hasn't subsided. There's way too much to be done at work, ugh.

I think my friend died. He was sort of part of a band, I took in to my home for a few days. We all became really close and still keep in touch.
I'm so scared to find out if it's true. I don't want to know, but I have to check.

False alarm! Thank God.
Some girl was talking about another Frank.

Another baby bit my baby today.

What the hell, baby? Lucy is a princess.

Oh no! It breaks my heart to see baby on baby crime.
Seriously, I hate to see kids getting rough on each other. They can be so primal.

Biting is the worst. It happens so fast and it hurts the bubba so bad. Lucy has a little ring of teeth mark on her leg now. The baby that bit her was only 10 months and I know he didn't do it to hurt her, he's just teething and mouthing lots of stuff. But it's still sad for bubba Lucy, and me. She's looooong forgotten about it, not me.

when my little nephew was a teeny weeny little baby, like about six/seven months we went to a restaurant and we let him crawl around on the floor on his baby blanket, when another little kid, maybe two years old, came over and pulled away one of my nephew´s arms and he fell flat on the face. he didn´t really hurt himself but of course he started screaming like mad and all i wanted to do was literally kick that other baby. of course i would never kick any baby but in that moment it really took all my effort to hold back. the moment probably just took half a second but i was really startled afterwards about this quite primal defense reflex.
and yes, babies can be assholes.

and any baby biting lucy really deserves to be kicked !!!!

I'm sure she'll get her own back someday.

The dragons must teach Lucy...

Barbra wants to kick babies!!!!!

More Noah Xia Drama ahead. But lets make this long story shirt
Went in Friday night to get all of my stuff out of the apartment becasue she told me she was going to start selling it. She wasnt there used my spare key.
Got almost oof of my stuff and left her a check for 150 which is more than enough in my eyes.
She Posts on facebook she is going to call the cops sue me and have me beat up.
But then put her foot in her mouth saying that I only took my stuff that she would not let me get...
She called me 22 times between 3 and 4 am and 15 more time throughout the day. Called me all osrts fo names blah blah blah

And so Sum it all up, I have not felt anger throughtout all of this. Lots of other emotions but rage, anger. This one is new. Saturday night rolled around, And All of a sudden I was shaking with anger. Still around, today, not as bad though.

Anger, not fun stuff.

Urgh, stupid bitch. She's the one that needs reporting.

Hang in there.

I've never been an angry person, but I've been angry a lot lately, due to my situation. I'm just glad you're done and over with that shit, Noah. Seriously. What's a psychotic bag of cunt.

Then she sends me a text saying she is sorry we make eachother misserable but she didnt do any of this to hurt me only to protect herself and she hopes I can find someone who loves me as much as I loved her.

Then I had a bunch of vodka. And now I have anti anxiety meds!

You should text her back telling her that she is a psychotic bag of cunt and that you will do your best to warn any guy who comes within 500 metres of her.

Your use of the metric system will completely disable her ability to respond appropriately.

hahhah

I'm sorry, Noah. But... everyones responses.... oh fuck...

I think the girl needs help.

sometimes it is good to get really angry. Just don't do anything stupid with that rage.

Nah she is an emotional mess and I still worry about her. She has been a raging bitch but she was still someone I loved.
Its dont know.

As for the anger I just do my breathing and imagine myself skipping rocks on the sandy river.

Yeah, you don't ever really stop loving someone.

Even if they do everything they can to make you stop, you might walk away, and it may eventually change inside you, but it never goes away.

Or, at least that is me.

I dont do anger very often. annoyance, frustration, malicious mischief( I am good at that one) vengeful. But just Anger is new.

Fuck love. The only true Gods are Bitches and Money.

I have a really bad temper.

Which is why I don't do anger very often myself.

I mean, it takes a hell of a lot, and then it isn't pretty.

I prefer to sort things out long before Mad happens.

Anger isn't a primary emotion anyway, it is a cover emotion or a responsive emotion. There is always another emotion(s) underlying it, and anger is what is used as a protective mechanism from being vulnerable.

When I get angry there will be copious pain, as if I get angry, truly angry, at that point it is because I have already processed and so much other negative emotion internally but had it all ignored externally by those who should have paid notice, all my emotional needs, so long that I don't give a fuck about being respectable or adult any longer and I'm gonna let it show.

Why I don't get angry unless I must.

I really need a good punk or metal show. I really need a ouple beers. And I really need a really, over the top pit. Nothing feels better than dancing with strangers while getting the shit kicked out of you with a smile on your face.

Hillstomp on the eighth of this month... punkabilly, I guess. there won't be a pit, but it will be fucking awesome.

Floater on the eleventh of January. There will be a fucking pit.

I will be at both. You should come.

Well, my brother just called to tell me that he and that puta no count girlfriend eloped yesterday. They're married.

And they're wanting to start a family.

Just fucking wow.

I am so fucking upset right now. I can't even begin to explain how bad of a decision this is for him.

Pitchfork and torches?

Yeah, bring them.

What is wrong with him that he would choose this person? I mean, I know what the answer is to that. But still....she ABANDONED her son when he was like 9 or so. She only sees him once or twice a year. She hates children. And my brother would choose to have her be the mother of his future children?

I already know how the next several years will play out. They'll be asking my mother or me and my other brother to help them out financially, they'll have a baby that she'll use as a carrot in this family. This is bad.

It was a different Frank that I knew who passed away. Not my young friend in the band. But, old Frank was always super nice. And he was best friends with my best friend Clif. It hurt so much to break the news to Clif, that I cried.

What also sucked, is Frank sent Clif a message the day he off himself, and Clif erased it and didn't call back immediatly. He just figured he'd have time to get back to him.
My friends are somewhere all tore up inside and I wish I could hug them, but they are so far away.

I would venture the guess that they already have. You just wait for that announcement.

The Over/Under bet is now at six months. Any takers?

I flat out asked him if she was pregnant and he said no, that they wanted to try to get some of their stuff in order first.

They call my mom every few months because they can't pay their rent and need money. He sold his car a couple years ago to pay for an MRI for an imaginary ailment she had. The doctors said she was just constipated.

I'm sorry your brother married a douchebag. Hopefully your brother doesn't knock her up and that there is still a chance to get out of this situation.

Buzzkill:

So, after the Nutcracker last night I'm hanging backstage a bit chit-chatting with my ballet homies, homos, and homiettes. Get introduced to The Mufugging Snow Queen and she's all kinda smiles and eyetalk and all that good warm stuff that you enjoy when you're making time with Someone Brand-New and You're Just Clicking. She gets me a drink (Jack in a red plastic Solo cup), we share a smoke, and then - too soon - she's Gotta Go, Meaningful Look, Touch On The Arm, See You Soon.

Right.

Twenty-four hours later. Chinese Tea Soloist Buddy Who Introduced Us says to me, "Isn't she amazing?" I'll say. She's also a freaking good dancer. "Yeah, and she's only sixteen!"

...

Son of a bitch.

I woulda ID checked her if/when I ran into her again because Safety First, but holy total fuck.

I gotta stop looking at dancers altogether.

Tuffy dodged the bullet. Almost caught a case. That was funny, at least you know you still got it.

Alecia, sorry about the new jerky in-law situation. Maybe if you set her up with a rich playboy, she will run away again. And your brother will finally see how she really is. Or maybe he will come to his senses sooner than later, in any case.

This made me literally laugh out loud. And not the quiet kind.

Welp, Tuffy, according to Sema, Alecia has a job you need to do for her.

Tuffy, I need your life.

I do not want it.