-Bohonkie
Hmmm, I just logged on for the first time in years and apparently I can post messages again.
Well goddamn, time to find another host for Goulet.
-Bohonkie
He is -Bohonkie a.k.a. Rockin' Robert Goulet.
I figured this much was clear.
-Bohonkie
aka Bukkake
I was a regular here a couple years ago and pretty much wrote semi-clever quips and called people names, usually a combination of "douche" and some other derogatory term.
I think of myself as a legend, if you will.
-Bohonkie
oh hello you.
I love you.
There is hope, but not for us.
Still one of the best screennames of all time.
I love everyone in this thread, actually.
There is hope, but not for us.
Come to think of it, honkie, I ain't never really liked you that much...
[QUOTE=jane s.;889821]I love everyone in this thread, actually.[/QUOTE]
How bout now?
I was going to say something about how you ruined the trend, but then I read your post about "Dan right" and I changed my mind, because that's funny.
There is hope, but not for us.
Oh my god, I am in such a happy place now...
I named my mouse Bohonkie.
It died.
Thanks, fucker.
My grandma legally changed her name to Bohonkie. And then she lapsed into senile dementia.
This is a really good idea.
CULT NIGHTS
Episode 1
Starring Bohonkie
“Why my mother. I mean, my sister is 10x better lookin'.
-Bohonkie” -Bohonkie
It was a Wednesday night and getting late, as it usually does around this time. Bohonkie had put in a hard night’s culting and it was time to hit the hay. He had school tomorrow and felt his eyes slowly give in to gravity. He was finished on the Cult for tonight. As Bohonkie posted up his last douche-insult of the night he hit enter and made Goulet’s sweet face appear once more. Goulet had never ceased to stir something in the young man, this time was no different. He felt the prerequisite tightening in his groin but this night decided for some reason not to give into temptation. He shut the computer down with a dreary smile.
Bohonk stank of sweat (well, he had been thinking about Robert.) He headed out of his room and staggered a path through his house to the bathroom to take a shower.
In his sleep deprived state Bohonkie had not seen the flickering light cutting through the post-midnight darkness. He approached the door failing to notice the tell-tale orange flicker of candle light coming from the small gap at the bottom. Bohonkie entered the bathroom with his eyes practically shut. He was almost to the tub when he heard an aggravated but familiar voice.
“Douchefuck! Get out of here pervert!”
What Bohonkie saw when he opened his eyes was an object of pure beauty, a goddess carved not of stone, but flesh. He saw two smooth, slender long legs emerge from a blanket of undulating bubbles. He saw the top portions of a pair of perfect breasts tastefully covered by the aforementioned bubbles. He saw long blond hair darkened and slicked back with water, a few strands hanging over the face of an angel flickering in orange glow. This amazing figure sported supple, soft lips and deep mysterious eyes that any man could find himself lost for days in. However enticing this radiant woman was, she was at this moment filled with an unfathomable rage.
Bohonkie stared at his sister unable to move. He had posted often about a deprived, incestuous home life, but until now it was all untrue. Faced with the reality of what he had only been alluding to before, Bohonkie tried to talk.
Whenever Bohonk was nervous he had the tendency to stammer whatever was in his head. Often times what he carried in there was the name of his one true love.
“G-G-G-G-Gou-Goul-G…”
At that instant a blinding flash appeared in the room. It was all Bohonkie could do to shield his eyes with his hands to stop himself from going blind. However in the moment before the stunning light left he was sure he had seen the figure of a long haired woman silhouetted within all the overwhelming light.
As soon as it had appeared the light was gone, and with it Bohonkie’s sister had also disappeared into thin air. Left was only a tub full of violently splashing water and a few candles strewn around the floor.
Bohonkie could only stare on at the bathtub wondering what the fuck just happened, when all of another sudden once more a blinding flash entered the room. Only this one was even larger and knocked Bohonkie straight on his ass.
When it left, two male figures dressed in futuristic yet decidedly hip armour-like future gear had appeared in the room. Both men wore protective helmets that obscured their faces, and noticeably reinforced groin protection. One stalked the room looking for something, and the other approached Bohonkie.
“Is your name Bohonkie?” One of the strangers asked.
“G-G-Gou-G-G…” Bohonkie stammered, staring at his reflection in the man’s visor.
“Goo? What?”
“G-Goulet-G-G…” Bohonkie let out.
“Mr Goulet, do you know a Bohonkie?” The stranger asked.
“Robert Goulet? The legendary entertainer? The man voted World Ruler in 2008 simply out of sheer coolness?” the second man from the future began to talk. “This is Bohonkie. Look at the picture.” He produced a tattered, aged print out of a picture Bohonkie once posted of himself.
“Bohonkie! Calm down. We are here to help you.” The visitor started to explain. “We come from the year 2035. We are Witch Hunters, charged with the task of finding and annihilating Jane Skinner before she turns the world into what it has become in our time. We are here to change history.”
“What?! Jane? You lost me.” Bohonkie said.
“In your time Jane became so fed up with your incessant ramblings about your mother and sister that she dabbled in the black arts to rid the world of depravity. She started with taking your sister from you, but within a year all of the male members of the Cult will be dead at her hands, all save two that is.” The visitor said as he took off his helmet. “Disx and The Gucci Ghost went into hiding and remained on the run together for five years before Jane got to them. Shortly before they died they knocked up some girls who gave birth to a son each. Disx and The Gucci Ghost charged their infant sons with the task of making sure none of this ever happened. We are those sons” The visitor said. We were named after our fathers for your and the plot’s sake. I am The Gucci Ghost and my partner here is Disx.”
“Hey, Bohonk.” Disx greeted as he rummaged through the bathroom’s medicine cabinet. “Bah! Nothing much.” He joined his comrade.
“I’m sorry. This is all a bit much to take.” said an exasperated Bohonkie. “Jane? But she’s a Christian. Why… How?”
“Jane S. had always put up with our Cult forefathers’ crap, and digs at her, but what you said about your sister, your mother and a kiddie-pool full of Jell-o really put her over the edge.” The Gucci Ghost explained.
“She decided to wipe out mankind to end all depravity.” Disx said while pocketing
some of Bohonkie’s mom’s Valium. “When we left she had taken over the world and gotten rid of 99% of the Earth’s male population.”
“I don’t know if I can help you.” Bohonkie said. “I’m a little freaked out.”
The two men from future knew what to do to change young Bohonkie’s mind.
“In 2012 she kills International President Goulet and gains power.” The Gucci Ghost says morosely.
At this Bohonkie rises to his feet. “Let’s go.” He says through teeth clenched in hate.
[center][img]http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/940/flaggggghtlb8.gif[/img][/center]
So if I left for a couple of years, I could come back to a big, warm welcome, huh?
When we call soccer 'football' the terrorists have won.
[QUOTE=Chixulub;889860]So if I left for a couple of years, I could come back to a big, warm welcome, huh?[/QUOTE]
...
This is a really good idea.
Ok, now that the required cock-sucking is out of the way, how are things around here these days? It seems rather quiet and Brock-free, sadly.
-Bohonkie
No one really misses Brock anymore since I came back. I do miss Ozzymandias though and Snuffy. And there are a bunch of obnoxious newbies. A few weeks (months?) ago some guy from the forums at [URL=http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/]sputnik music[/URL] tried to troll the forums and bring some friends here with him, but we busted his ass, then mirkah let everyone login to his account and post whatever they wanted with his identity. I can't find the thread now so maybe it was deleted.
This is a really good idea.
[QUOTE=meatthinker;889894]Snuffy[/QUOTE]
:indiffere 
:no:
Woah, Bohonkie! I'm sure you don't remember me but I was a big fan.
-Bohonkie
I know you don't remember me, but call me a douche name and see how quick I come with the pain. Snake pain. Like a snake. Internet snake pain.
nah, nice to meet you.
[QUOTE=meatthinker;889894]And there are a bunch of obnoxious newbies. [/QUOTE]
to be faır, most newbıes are called obnoxıous at some poınt here. why not use the term New Douchebags?
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=xec8;889985]to be faır, most newbıes are called obnoxıous at some poınt here. why not use the term New Douchebags?[/QUOTE]
i got their new album
its awesome!
one time, bohonkie sent me a bottle of ill-smelling cologne.
[QUOTE=meatthinker;889894]No one really misses Brock anymore since I came back.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
[QUOTE=Nightrious;890023]What the fuck is that supposed to mean?[/QUOTE]
Go away. You're spoiling my moment.
This is a really good idea.
[QUOTE=moe.ron;889996]one time, bohonkie sent me a bottle of ill-smelling cologne.[/QUOTE]
That was Kansas City Chiefs NFL brand cologne, was it not?
[QUOTE=Bohonkie;890026]That was Kansas City Chiefs NFL brand cologne, was it not?[/QUOTE]
i don't remember, but that sounds about right. i just remember it assaulted my nasal cavities.
If it was Chiefs cologne, I wouldn't expect anything else.
There is hope, but not for us.
It was Chiefs brand, I'm sure. She failed to mention the highly-sought Goosebumps novella that I included in her bag-o-goodies. Did you manage to finish it? I should of included a readers guide, but procrastination yet again got the best of me.
I remember that package specifically though, because that was how we all found out that you were hot.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE=jane s.;891392]I remember that package specifically though, because that was how we all found out that you were hot.[/QUOTE]
How is that? I must have forgot a few of the contents in that box.
-Bohonkie
[QUOTE=jane s.;891392]I remember that package specifically though, because that was how we all found out that you were hot.[/QUOTE]
why you always gotta blow up my spot, yo?????????????????
You're never around anymore, SOMEONE'S gotta blow up your spot.
There is hope, but not for us.
Who the fuck are you?
C'mon, give us some backround.