Awkward Question Game, Anyone?

4.

Would you pay  for sex and/or take money in exchange for sex?

My answers:

Navy Blue.
I prefer not to answer.
No and no.

White.

Zero...cause you know, once they have a taste of the Minerva they ALWAYS come crawling back!

No and No.

Would you rather be 500lbs or marry someone who is 500lbs?

I would rather marry a 500lb person.

Have you ever cheated on anyone?

 Yes.

Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Yup.

Orgasm every 5 minutes or never orgasm again?

I'd take an orgasm every five minutes.

What's the lowest amount of money you would reached into a soiled toilet for?

$50.  With gloves $20.

Would you ever get an abortion?

yes, if I had a uterus that is and if the child were the product of incest and/or rape.

would you have sex with your celebrity crush even if they made you wear a paperbag over your face?

Yes.

Give Don Vito (of Jackass Fame) a BJ or Go down on Rosie O'Donell?

Rosie.

Kill a cop, or your mother?

The cop.

Would you rather run around nude in New York City for an hour or never be able to take off your clothes again?

I'd run round New York or anywhere for that matter.

Inform on a friend or do six months yourself?

Assuming he is guilty and I'm not, I would tell him to do the right thing and come forward, and if he didn't, I would know he is no true friend and I would betray him.

Can you help me move?

 YES!

How certain are you of your sexual persuasion?

100% certain that I love men.

Can I borrow $50?

(Dan, that question was hilarious)

sorry, Im broke.

have you ever peed in the pool when people were in it and didnt tell them?

With gusto.

Have you ever has sex on public transport?

Yes. Twice! Not in the same night, and two different trains.

Ewwwwww...

Now, why is the chicken crossing the road? Do you want the chicken to cross the road? Does this please you? Hmm?

I bet asking someone to check if you have a hernia is an awkward question.

I actually recently got checked for a hernia, and it wasn't that bad.  Lots of poking my stomach and coughing.

JT, no I do not want the chicken to cross the road.  It would not please me, because I would rather have the chicken for dinner.

Awkward question...hmm...When was the last time you pissed your pants or wet the bed?

Too much slobber, and it's impossible not to break into a few pulp fiction references.

...Have you found Jesus?

Jesus is missing?  I didn't do it.  Don't look at me.

Who do you like best, your mom or dad?

I got to say I like my mom the best. I mean, dad is an alright guy, always tries to do whats right and whatnot. but it's like he just does it all without any soul. Just pure reason and logic. One thing that really bugs me about him is he doesn't seem to like music. Any music! Whereas my mom stole off to Chicago back in the 60's to try and have sex with the beatles and had to settle for tom jones.

awkward question: (for the guys) Can you go into a store and buy tampons for your girlfriend?

(for the gals) What was the first thing you thought the very first time you saw a penis?

The first time I saw a penis, I remember thinking it was ugly.  It was one of those, "so this is what it's all about" moments.  Not very exciting, needless to say, but for what it's worth, I like them a lot more now.

What is your most embarassing childhood memory?  Or maybe...what is something you did as a child that you didn't realize was perverted until you were older?

I used to graffitti in library books when I was a child and I got caught which was pretty embarrassing (and maybe even a little perverted).

Would you rather be beautiful and stupid or ugly and clever?

Ugly and clever. I'd use my cleverness to find some way into tricking people into thinking that I'm attractive.

Right?

Have you ever had sexual thoughts about a relative?

Yeah, every time I want to not cum. If I think to hard, though, I just lose any and all desire to do teh secksuals and kind of want leave. It's happened more than one person. Sorry.

Most shameful sex story? Have at it. GOES FOR EVERYONE.

 well it's not really shameful but it's the first story I can think of. Worst sex I ever had, one night stand, I just thought no this is not happening and I had to tell him to stop. Then he cried. 

have you ever lied about your age, and why?

I wasn't crying... there was something in both my eyes!

 I lied about my age. Once to buy a Playboy when I was 17 and another time I lied and said I was 22 when I was 27 cuz a 21yr old was hitting on me.

Have you ever done anal? If not, do you want too?

I laughed out loud reading that and I almost spilled my breakfast over my computer!

(and I'm not answering that question haha)

Have you ever had a crush on a friend's sister/brother/mum/dad/etc?

(Also, no fair. You're cheating. PManswerOKTHNXBYE j/k)

If you could only save one person from a burning building, who would it be?  Your mother, or your significant other?

I would save my husband over my mother, that's not even a difficult one (is that bad?!). He'd be a lot easier to carry too.

Do you bitch about your best friend?

 Yes.  Yes I do.  But I do it to her face so it's all good.

Do you think you're happy?

No.

Do you think YOU are happy?

Short answer = No.

nice try sunshine.

yeah and sorry about the wax thing...

So, what's the worst lie you've ever told?

"I feel fine."

have you ever masturbated to something so dirty and wrong you felt bad afterwards?

Boy, you love masturbation, bear.  I will appease you and answer your masturbatory question.  Yes, of course.  Generally things involving multiple people.  I also always look at women, but that doesn't make me feel dirty or wrong.

Have you ever fantasized about a cultist?

Haha, yes.

Mommy, where do babies come from?

 All babies come from Frank's mother.   I learned this in health.

Have you ever thought you were pregnant or that you got someone pregnant?  How’d that go? 

oh no!  Fix it mods!

 Did I see you on the Erotic Review?

I don't know! I thought I broke it.....

Maybe it was for that comment you made about my mother birthing every baby ever. The site knew you were making that up and it tried to stop you but all it did was make your post long as hell.

Or, maybe Jesus is getting back at you for your poor effort during lent.

Neither of those are good enough reasons. I didn't insult the forum's mother (dennis) so it has no reason to try to kill my post.

And I tried damn it! But I'm not gonna do that meatless friday thing either.... if that makes me go to hell well.... WORTH IT.

Also, meat is totally worth going to hell. Your young enough where you still have to to right the ship.

 This thread was so organised UNTIL YOU RUINED IT!

What happened to the questioning aspect of this thread?  I'm going to ask questions to make up for this going off topic.  Answer as you wish.

1. What's the most you ever spent on porn/toys?

2. Describe your most intense drug experience/bad trip.  (Not a question, but do it anyway)

3. What's the stupidest thing you ever did to try to get the attention of a love interest?

4. Ever fallen in love/lust with a character from a book?

This next question is specifically for bear, but anyone can answer.

5. What's the most times per day that you've masturbated?

Ok, go!