Wow. Fucking wow. I don't even remember most of this, and I had to read the whole thread to sort of recall any of it. And here I posted 2nd on this thing. Crazy.

It's kind of funny, that whole snail/escargot thing, considering where I ended up. It's like it was DESTINY!! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN

No one ever made me a food item.

Because you are no Jane.

The last time Phil talked to me he bitched at me for posting something I thought he'd find funny on his FB wall.

I don't even know what this means.

Do you mean that I am no pie?

Or do you mean that everyone else in this thread is Jane?

This is the only possible explanation.

Logically, it must be.

anyway,

ATTENTION: PEPPER IS...

I want to be something, too.

Why was I not a cake?

No fair.

*sulks*

I'm a carrot cake, I think. Not just cuz I'm a bunny, but cuz only a few people like me, and only after getting tired of the conventionally good.

You can't name yourself. Other people have to name you. That's the point of the thread.

I think you are that guy that points out the kid that peed his pants.

... jk... a little

Whatever. I'm just telling you how the thread goes.

I make carrot cake that puts people on cloud nine.

I've never had carrot cake.

Attention: Ike is a carrot cake

Unfortunately his reasoning is sound and the shape of his soul is likely phallic.

Attention: Irina is a cream puff

Because look at all those Irinas.

Oh my God that is a profiterole! I love those!

No, they are cremepuffs. Of which you are one.

Wat.

See, Ike, it all worked out. You're carrot cake!!

Carrot cake is like, one of the most amazing things. The supermarket I used to work for in Florida was known for their sinfully delicious carrot cake. I had carrot cake from one other place, and it was shit compared. The stuff we made was so soft and delicious. Heavenly.

They look like profiterole to me. I like the chocolate syrup ones, and since I'm "the blackest person" Jessica never met, I suppose I qualify for one of those.

Cream puff is just the American word for a profiterwhateveryoujustsaid.

And for the record, I'm pro carrot cake.

So can I be the chocolate one or not?

Anybody remember the recipe thread? According to that, I should be a red velvet unicorn cupcake.

No comment on me naming myself. Awesome.

The funny thing, to me, with the threads that involve making someone else some sort of food item (And yes that is threadS, plural, we seem to have them a couple times a year) is that no one ever makes me anything even though my name is a damn food. I mean, I made so easy. You are all silly.

Someone go get me wine. Please.

I just got back from buying wine.

And beer.

Football's coming on you know.

Chardonnay spritzer okay by you?

Attention: Ritt is a cracker (so everyone stop calling him black already)

mmmm

I'd prefer a nice Cab/Siraz, but Chardonnay is lovely too.

Why am I not watching football right now?

Making Pepper a pepper is too easy and insincere. Trying to make her anything else requires an attention span that most people who frequent the internet don't have because her name is already a food and what I was doing?

What a cream puff thing to say.

Personally, I think you're a classic, clean one. But if you insist.

Reminds me that it's almost chili time and I'm wondering if my recipe is still here.

Speaking of too easy...

Attention: The Kiwi is a cake

Thaaaaank you. I would hate to have had to go on without being a legitimate carrot cake under these super serious guidelines.

Also, I'm not too sure about what that last part means.

I hope it's a testament to my manliness.

That or deep down inside... you're a dick. I honestly don't remember. I think this one is funnier so it's probably what I meant.

Sorry! I might've not meant it!

It's too late. The damage is done.

So it definitely wasn't the manliness.

Guess not. A man would've embraced his dickishness. But I guess that's why I'm not a penis cake.

This thread is awesome even though I still don't agree with being the watermelon burro.

I thought this said "watermelon burrito" and I was like "what the fuck is that" and went back to look.

How was it possibly weirder than what I first imagined? You're weird.

Attention: Jaz is a fancy ravioli

Attention: The cake is a lie.

I'm allergic to Kiwifruit.

you are allergic to kiwis and the sun ?! kid, what are you doing in new zealand then ?!

i just want to make you move to europe.

Sarah in Europe would be the best thing ever. Then I could visit her and play with Lucy for hours.

I'm sorry for poisoning you.