Ask A Pornstar

Me too!

I don't do business with that testing center anymore. Eventually, when I'm able to insulate myself from stalkers (male and female), sociopaths, and the like, I won't care if my real name is common knowledge.

By the nature of my profession, I attract a different type of follower than say, an singer, actor, whatever. Unlike a mainstream counterpart, I don't have the resources to protect myself and my family from negative elements at large.

My agent just asked me to dig deeper into parts of my life to add dimension to my manuscript. Motivations--what makes me who I am. As much as I reveal in the MS about the goings on while on set and the stories of what I go through, I'm extremely guarded with what happens in my life when I'm not on set. By design.

It's fucking tough to let go of details in my personal life knowing it will be disseminated, but I know he (agent is right if we want the best product possible. I'd only need to add 7k-10k words (I can do it in a weekend) but it's been the hardest 30 pages to write. I talk a good game about Dangerous Writing--revealing what terrifies the writer--every time I'm interviewed. Now it's time to put up or shut up.

I haven't seen Bree in a year, and like any other girl in porn, I give her zero thought unless I'm set to work with her.

Charlie and I had the same literary agent for a short time last month. This article is inaccurate because the press got their information from Sheen (and we all know what a reliable source he is, right?), but whatever. I don't know the details, and when Peter (the agent) and I spoke last week, I didn't care enough to ask. Bottom line, Sheen is an idiot.

Are you working in the industry again? What happened to the stock gig?

Post 575, dude. One page back.

+3 savvy for linkage

that sucks. imagine how many more weirdos are gonna crawl out of the woodwork once you have your book out.

the agent does have a point, i mean if you really want to maximize sales, there's going to be a greater need to acquaint yourself with people who aren't necessarily aware of who you are (ie. people who are outside the industry, non-stalkers, etc.).

i imagine it's tougher to be recognized and recalled if you are a straight guy than if you are a girl or a guy doing gay porn since the porn industry is consumed mostly by males.

there has to be a way for those potential readers to connect to you on a basic level, not necessarily appealing to them just because of what you do for a living but who you are as a person who happened to land this job not everyone gets to do and that has universal appeal, both in the negative and positive sense.

giving up a slice of your personal life is definitely going to do that but weighing how much you'll give up personally vs making this connection with others is tough.

I have drawn all my life - and quite well too, but I have to be honest, picking up a paintbrush scares the hell out of me. Especially oils and large canvasses. So I admire you for that. It sounds like you have an interesting way of approaching the matter, too - doing genre paintings will definitely help you get to know what makes you tick in terms of style.

I think abstract art gets a bad rap. I'm quite sure the most commonly held opinion of abstract art is that it's complete horse shit. I think this is partly due to a lot of amateur artists cashing in on the whole thing by slapping a few flat planes of colour on to a canvas. But if you look at a painting by any true abstract master - Pollock and Rothko come immediately to my mind, among others - you know there's actually something a lot more cerebral there than throwing paint around on a canvas.

I enjoy looking at Pollock's and De Kooning's earlier work more than I enjoy their late work--but it's because they've paid their dues with semi-representational work, it gives a context for me appreciate their artistic evolutions. Same with Rothko. Unlike those masters from the New York School, we don't even know if some of these new generation abstract expressionists that are coming up can even draw.

I misspoke: I dig Rothko's late work more than his earlier stuff. The more I learn about his techniques, the more I appreciate his work. I stand in front of Rothkos least once a week when I visit MOCA and LACMA. But his paintings never made me cry or invoke a religious experience like many claim to experience when gazing upon them.

Very interesting points you two bring up here on the subject of Art, Abstract Painting and Drawing. Many who regard the Ab-Ex painters(and sculptors)often proclaim "That is not Art" or "I could do that" when in fact it is often relatively easy to imitate just about anything once someone else has already given birth to it.

Many people look at a De Kooning, Mitchell or even a Picasso and fail to realize how adept these artists were as draughtsmen before they jaunted off into vastly more creative territory. As much as I respect artists of 'Realism' the style has inherent limitations whereas works of abstraction are only limited by the imagination.
In many ways, Ab-Ex presents a challenge to the artist that representational art never will: To create a successful composition from subjects for which no obvious examples exist. These works are quite often the products of highly cerebral creative processes.
I adore Art in all its forms: Photo Realism astounds me and Michelangelo's abilities seem surreal given his formidable and diverse Oeuvre. But Pollock's drips and splatters are brilliant for their inventiveness...and simplicity. I don't know how many people I have come across who have mimicked his style. But the Fact remains that only his name comes to mind when we see anything at all that even vaguely resembles it. That, to me, is iconic.
Drawing, in my opinion lies at the very foundation of creating visual art and a great tool for experimentation and the recording (sketching) of ideas. Painting is really just another form of drawing, albeit a more technically challenging one.

Your avatar from Francis Bacon's "Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion" is one of my favorite paintings. Bacon is considered to be as equally important to 20th century art as Picasso, but it's interesting that he wasn't well regarded as a draftsman. I think his drawing skills were irrelevant to the visceral impact of his work--there are plenty of great draftsmen you never hear of.

I feel the same way about writing: who gives a damn about perfect punctuation, grammar and syntax if the writer has nothing to say. Relating the human condition through your art is its own master technique, and in my opinion, the only one that matters at the end of the day. Which is why I love Hubert Selby Jr.

I have to say, you pretty much break the stereotype of porn stars. I've had very little interaction with you,and to be completely honest, most of this thread has been tl;dr for me, but I'm amazed by the breadth of your knowledge and insight into various topics.

You're cool.

Thank you. Considering how porn people are portrayed in pop culture, and the fact that you never hear of the "normal" ones, just the crazy ones, the perceptions are not surprising. Most stereotypes do have some basis in reality. And to be sure, most of them regarding my profession are well founded in truths, but lack of intellectual curiosity is not one of them.

I think curiosity about the world around you and what your place/purpose in it may be is a universal human trait--part of what distinguishes us from other animals. I am not an anomaly in this regard.

I agree with Fano.

Yeah, I have always loved Bacon's work and the way he mixes equal parts representation and abstraction to forge a marvelous tension. Many people don't realize how much he labored to capture many of his images--particularly his portraits and that takes the kind of draughting skills not taught in Academy.
And I agree with your comparison to writing. I would say that goes for any Art form. Literature,Fine Arts, Music Culinary and so on. There are countless 'technicians' in every form but only a handful of true magicians.

Man, if I could write the way Bacon painted...

Bacon is incredible. But again, an artist who clearly knows his craft and his art history. We'd never have the screaming popes if he didn't know who Velazquez was.

And re: Rothko, I've never been brought to tears by any of his paintings, but I find them powerful and awe-inspiring in a way I can't even fully articulate. I could stand in front of one for a long time, just being enveloped by their scale and inky blackness (or blue/red/orange-ness, as the case may be). I'd love to visit the Rothko chapel some day.

Mmmm, bacon...

Kit, you are right about Bacon and his awareness of his predecessors and I think (as you alluded to) that goes for just about every visual artist that creates compelling work (IMO).

Sure there are always a few exceptions to the rule, but the overwhelming majority of quality artists have a profound knowledge of Art History.

I hope you didn't think I was bashing education or anything, cuz I got a fat student loan bill threatening to follow me to the grave. I guess what I was getting at is that regardless of how much education a student acquires, without the unteachable "X" factor, all of the knowledge and technical skills available will not yield exceptional Art. They might generate decent work, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Rothko: His work is like one of those bands that is amazing live, but less so when reproduced. Live, they are very moving spiritually, like auras or soul cubes. I have never cried in front of one either, but I almost did in front of Pollock's 'Mural'.

A recent interview. It's safe for work:

FTFY

Thanks, Tuffy. How did I screw up posting the link?

< a href="link href" title="title text" > You have to enter the clickable part manually here! < /a >

Tuffy saves the day again!

Love this picture:

Nice one Tyler. Two psychos together in one frame. Once in Stuttgart I saw a Keith Haring exhibition and one of the coolest pieces was an illustrated collaboration with Burroughs about these Corneating addicts (euphemism for Heroin?). Anyway your photo makes me wish there was a Bacon-Burroughs graphic novel out there somewhere.

No doubt you have already seen this, but it is my favorite Bacon photograph of all time:

I think curiosity about the world around you and what your place/purpose in it may be is a universal human trait--part of what distinguishes us from other animals. I am not an anomaly in this regard.

I recant this statement, because it's a lie. My entire life, I've been ostracized for intellectual curiosity, and the way I speak.

Our parents lied to us: society values--admires--brute, primal prowess more than intellectual capacity. Look at what we celebrate as a culture? Who are our heroes? We would not be having this conversation on the Cult, let alone the score of other Internet forums I post on with a seven-figure cumulative page-view count, about my job if I worked at Fermilab. I put my penis in vagina--that's it! Getting an erection is as arbitrary a body function in terms of importance as a bowel movement. Less so.

And the latter point especially, because I don't fit into the neat expectations of race. Whenever someone says I'm "well-spoken" it takes great effort to keep from choking them to death where they stand. They think it's a compliment, but it's the exact opposite. That, and the extreme end is, I'm accused of "talking white"...What the fuck does that mean? (<---Rhetorical.)As if blacks can not have decent command of the King's English...like, as your ability to speak well increases, your genes mutate and the further you progress into the "white" side of the black/white continuum? (Race is a social construct anyway, but this is a digression from point.) Otherwise I'm stared at like I'm a Goddamn marionette with strings attached, or a puppet master's hand shoved up my ass.

I can't go a week without one or both of these thrown in my face. Just the other day on set, some girl ran up to me and said, "You know my BFF? Penny Flame, my best friend, chose to do her first and only interracial sex scene with a few years ago me because:

1) It was agreed that the scene would not advertised in the media.
2) There were no pictures of us together on the movie's ads or box cover.
3) I'm not really black because I "talk good," "I'm "smart," and don't "act black" at all.

The friend told me this and waited for a reaction, as though I should be proud of being deemed worthy enough of putting my dirty negro dick in a white whore's holy cunt. Like, that day should have been the ne plus ultra of my life!

I smiled instead of confronting her porn logic because I was just about to work (my emotional state of mind is everything when I work, so any argument "won" would be Pyrrhic), and saved my would-be comments for my L'esprit de l'escalier.

That incident encapsulated both my former and latter points of contention with humanity to perfection.

I'm a Goddamn freak who cannot begin to articulate how alone he feels in the world. (Another lie, but I'll conserve bandwidth.) These are a few of many in a long list of reasons for my misanthropic and reclusive leanings.
---

Edits:

*To be clear, the above was not spurred by a comment on this thread. You guys read that diatribe because the Internet is my rare chance for riposte in the fencing match I'm losing with real life.

*Clarity of point.

* Poor typing.

That's a great picture. Bacon was an artist who went where his id told him to go. Not pre-censoring your work takes balls. Even today, his work still shocks.

Fuck it, why not? Here's my first ever painting--maybe three or four hours of work. I make no pretense of knowing what I'm doing, but I'm doing it anyway. 24"x 30" oil on canvas.

There's a glare, and I used a shitty camera phone so details are lost...

A work in progress, about one hour into it. A 24" x 48" oil on wood panel:

Was gonna use the tape for clean lines with the last one, but changed my mind. Anyway, I destroyed every painting in between those two.

I actually really like second one in it's unfinished state. Interesting composition and lines.

3 or four hours? that's pretty good for what you're putting out. I just started working with oil paints myself not sure if I want to tackle realistic looking paintings with oils yet though.

Great job Tyler I love the star thing going on in the first painting.

Thanks. Was gonna add more people then build up the layers, but you may be right...negative space may say more, and I kind of like it as a rough and transparent sketch...

Thanks. After I made the first one, I bought a magazine about how to paint figuratively. Ha ha, from what I've read, the articles said I made every mistake possible. I was all, "WTF does 'fat over lean' mean?" I had to Google all the terms. My ignorance is laughable. Which is why I destroyed every canvas between the first one and the wood panel, ha ha.

The stars are supposed to be the constellation Corona Borealis (Northern Crown).

Considering you're new to that medium of art, that's freaking great! I liked the second also, but the first is really good, too.

Tyler, have you heard of Brett Whiteley? He was an Australian artist, active from the 60s to the early 90s, when he died of a heroin overdose. Whiteley was influenced and mentored by Francis Bacon, and painted a portrait of him. (you can see it in progress on the video clip on this page http://www.brettwhiteley.org/whats_on/travelling_art_scholarship ) He's one of my favourite Australian artists, his series of works on the serial killer Christie and also the Alchemy and American Dream paintings are pretty intense. Even at their most decorative, his paintings are always very visceral. If you like Bacon, he may be worth you checking him out.

It's a shame you threw them out. Personally there are a lot of pieces that I am not particularly fond of but I've learned that you should always get a second opinion(not from a magazine) another rule is to not throw anything away no matter how much I hate it, put aside for a while til the point where I forget about it and sometimes when looking at it like it's the first time you learn to appreciate your work more. Unless you still absolutely hate it then yeah toss it out haha. I would invite you to join our art show cuz personally I know people would love your work. It's not a big time gallery or anything but displaying your work somewhere and actually hearing people's responses to your work can really open your eyes to what you have going for you. Even though you're not entirely pleased with the piece,knowing that people are attracted to what I would call your amateur work(because as any great artist your work constantly evolves) then they will definitely love the art that you eventually start becoming pleased with.

Also an artist is never satisfied with their work because if they were they would cease to create.

That doesn't mean throw away everything you're not pleased with haha

Keep it up(I'm kinda jealous you had such great results with your first attempt at oil painting)

Very kind of you to say, thank you.

Dude, thanks for that! His stuff is very cool. You can see Bacon's influence--especially in his color harmonies, but he made what he took from Bacon his own.

Well, one of the reasons I chose oil to start with (as opposed to water color or acrylic) was because it drys slowly and is very forgiving with mistakes and re-works. Except, my mistakes are beyond my knowledge of fixing, so I cut the canvas from the stretcher and re-stretch another one, ha ha. I'll listen to you and not cut them up anymore.

The art show sounds cool. I never intended anything to see the light of day, so it would be interesting to hear how I can improve. Thanks. Is it in Los Angeles, and when is it?

Oh definitely. He took a lot from Matisse too, but still managers to have his own very distinctive style. Glad you like it!

Well it's actually a private show at my house in Diamond Bar which is at the very edge of LA County. We hold an art auction and donate the money to charity. The fun thing about this is that we've got artists that never had the opportunity to show their art or feel like their stuff was ever worthy of displaying before. It's just really different and encouraging not to mention for a good cause. I also suggest going to local art walks to check out different local artists. There are always some amazing pieces and then there are pieces that will totally make you feel better about the art you are creating. The next show we are having is actually coming up on May 21st. It's become a new tradition that we want to start doing every few months. So if you are ever seriously interested in participating or just checking it out pm me and I'll be more than happy to share the info with you.

Yeah, I noticed the Matisse-like figures, also...reminded me of the painting of the red dancers, as well as the elongated figure painting of the blue silhouette.

That sounds freakin' awesome, thank you. The only thing is, I'd prefer to keep whatever I have not destroyed...

*Edit*
...because not destroying them is a huge step, and I've got a long way to go before there's anything worth putting out into the world. Baby steps, ha ha ha.

i wonder if portland does something like this. if not, i want to make it my mission to start one.

My first serious attempt at a self portrait: about 8 hours of work, using a photograph as reference. Oil on canvas, 36" * 48". The paint is still wet, so I took pics at an angle to reduce the glare.

Head & shoulders detail:

3/4 length:

Full length:

Those pictures look awfully like this porn star I know. Are you sure you weren't drawing him and not you?

I really like the texture and the shading.

Thanks. Ha ha, I can assure you, it's all dumb luck, as it is my second painting (my girlfriend saved it from the knife). I could never replicate it if my life depended on it.

My girlfriend doesn't think it looks a thing like me *shrug*

YES! Love Whitely. Great artist. What a mind.