Alene & Rita's Goddamned Picture Thread

Told ya'!

This is a pic from a few months ago, Me, My Uncle, his wife and baby. Lucky bastid, hes 45 and shes only 24.

Yeah, he has kept himself in good shape, they are very good together.

Yep, I got baby face. I have fun at Clubs, getting triple takes from people looking at my ID.

Last one for tonight...

Me, My Uncle with son and My Mother.

Gah, I lied.

Last one, serious...

My Uncles three daughters (from previous marriage) aka my cousins, god I love them.

Was expecting...that is a little over a year old.

A pic from just the other night...

Wow Six on the dot, your a hottie!

Jesus christ, this is getting old! again today someone thought I was like 17....WTF?! Im turning 22 soon..

Do I really still look that young?

[img]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/attachment.php?s=&postid=173519[/img]

That pic is from a few nights ago, and nah its not a uniform, just wearing a plain white t-shirt and some dockers.

I feel ya, Jane. but my voice surprises most people, at my last 2 jobs they called me Barry White, I always hear "You should be on the Radio." from ppl.
I look in my teens but sound like im some big ass muscle bound 40yr old.

maybe one day my body will catch up with my voice.

I was a hairy fellow.

Oh and the file name is in German. I name all my files in German so my sister wont know what it is.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Ghost Mutt [/i]
[B]

This is me.... GERRRR! [/B][/QUOTE]

Thats way to fucking big. If 5 people come to this thread Dennis' bandwith for Novmeber will already be exceeded.

I'm so emo and depressed.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by alene [/i]
[B]Stop fuckin' talking and post more pictures. [/B][/QUOTE]

alene gets cranky when she runs out of pictures to masturbate to...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by phytoplankton [/i]
[B]well.......thanks...i think [/B][/QUOTE]

I mean, you cut that head off at the neck and put it on a freckled torso with pert A-cups and yeah... the spittin' image, and it's only 'cause you don't appear to have been introduced to a little invention called the razor yet, nor really have any use for that knowledge at this time...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RuByLiCiouS [/i]
[B]yeah that was in his sig back in the day [/B][/QUOTE]

back in the day translates to before I disappeared and actually had a connection at home complete with working scanner and digital camera... these days, I'm forced to post on and off secretively when my boss is not here or isn't looking on some old crap computer. Some day I'll pay my internet connection...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by phytoplankton [/i]
[B]ahh brock i thought you'd be funny looking, surprising how normal you are [/B][/QUOTE]

yeah, well, I'm suprised how much you remind me of a cute chick, no offense meant of course, but yeah... like you remind me of a chick I knew, except she was like, well, you know... a chick...

[img]http://images.springstreetnetworks.com/21/21EYSC0SYW8RF.jpg[/img]

... motherfuckahs... yeah boy-yee... pasty white boy in the hizzouse... actually I just spent lunch tanning... again... so yeah...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by disx [/i]
[B]She'd definitely be my Cultist hate-fuck. [/B][/QUOTE]

Izen/lambchop would be your hate fuck? Either that or this thread moves too fast... and I'm lost...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by origamiLips [/i]
[B]and brock your hair does look lighter
someone told me that that pic of you in your sig awhile back wasnt you..but man....yeah...you're like a six six hunk of a man [/B][/QUOTE]

No joke, I went tanning at lunch, and stopped at the store to get some U-Turn protein bars and two girls, fairly young, asked me to pull up my shirt for them to see me. I feel ashamed that like a giddy attention-whore, I did it... I feel so used... need a long, hot shower now...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]I mean, you cut that head off at the neck and put it on a freckled torso with pert A-cups and yeah... the spittin' image, and it's only 'cause you don't appear to have been introduced to a little invention called the razor yet, nor really have any use for that knowledge at this time... [/B][/QUOTE]

Nah, actually if I had to pick some psuedo-celebrity that phyto-plankton reminds me of, I would say the short, cute brunette from the first ever season of MtV's Road Rules... years ago, back before reality tv took over...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by alene [/i]
[B]Wait, I though we didn't know what the Brock looked like. What is your natural color? I really have to have the proper image if I am going to imagine you during sex. [/B][/QUOTE]

I'm not a natural blonde. I'm not a natural redhead. I am not jewish or black. Take a guess. Roots baby, it's all in the roots...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by phytoplankton [/i]
[B]i dont have the locks anymore, i had it all the way down to my mouth but i got it cut off ,comes to my eyebrows now [/B][/QUOTE]

You probably don't look as chick-like without the hair. See, it's a combination of the hair, your eyes and that nose that make you look feminine... that and the baby fat. Nothing wrong with that, it's just an honest appraisal. Tell you the truth, I'd rather look like a chick than a guy in siome regard because chicks dig baby faces at times...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by fEEBLE [/i]
[B]Tuffy I think youd be a cool dad... and brock im sorry but based on your headshot and the fact that i dont know you...if you saw you on the street id think you look like an asshole kinda person...but you still look good...just assholy

btw im too chicken to post my own pic so... sew me [/B][/QUOTE]

I am an asshole. What's your point? In person, I even come off as not just a regular, run-of-the-mill asshole, but a bonerfide, fuck-off- and-die- you-waste-of- life major asshole. See, I'm the dude in high school who fucked the head cheerleader in her horse-riding ribbon-decorated bedroom, on her giant fluffy pink pink stuffed-animal-covered bed, her parents downstairs thinking what a nice, young, handsome boy I am while my shaft pickles in their precious daughter's joy juice, while you were sniffing glue behind the alternate school for greasy kids condemned to a life repairing car engines by prolific guidance counselors smelling of smoke, you in your worn-out undersized denim jacket reeking iof government cheese, your nostrils enflamed and raw from the rubber cement you huff to further dull your senses... then again, I don't know you woodshopboy...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RuByLiCiouS [/i]
[B]brock did you get highlights? [/B][/QUOTE]

actually I just use that cheapo MAXIM magazine hair color for men... they got sandy blonde and bleach blonde and friggin' billy idol blond and albino alligator blonde and well, yeah, you can do tips or highlights or any of that crap... I get bored easy...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]Nah, actually if I had to pick some psuedo-celebrity that phyto-plankton reminds me of, I would say the short, cute brunette from the first ever season of MtV's Road Rules... years ago, back before reality tv took over... [/B][/QUOTE]

[img]http://www.tubescanboard.com/image.php?u=289&dateline=1060935857[/img] her name was kit... that's the celeb phyto looks sorta like...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by fEEBLE [/i]
[B]Im FEmale !!!

Brock you are an asshole... Rita??? Brock *ewwww look* hes got a nice face but his head... [/B][/QUOTE]

Yes... I hate my head too... ever since I was a kid it's haunted me... everywhere I go, it's there... it's been slapped and punched and pinched and bruised and swollen and shaved and it's just so... so... so annoying...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SnowWhite [/i]
[B]Well, things have improved... [/B][/QUOTE]

Hey, that's my stewardess outfit...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by fEEBLE [/i]
[B]maybe you should get your head cut the next time you get your hair done it woulod let you through shorteter doors...oh the possibilities [/B][/QUOTE]

I've been thinking of having brain reduction surgery as of late. I'm thinking this might cut down on unnecessary head size. As it stands, I'm way too smart for my britches...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Fino35 [/i]
[B]Thank you(self-esteem +2)

no, thats my older brother's Baby's Momma's Child.

So that makes me big uncle jose. [/B][/QUOTE]

big is right, man, you look like this dude I lift with, like Ving Rhames body in John Singleton's Baby Boy with the noble head of Othello the Moor... yet your name is Jose, which makes me wonder,like, you peurto-rican or something, you know, one o' them spanish-speaking brothers? I'm used toit. I be the only one speaking the espanol en mi casa, eh cholo? Hell, the only spanish I know comes from watching west coast mexican gangster flicks like Blood In, Blood Out, American Me, any flick with Clifton Gonzalez Gonzalez Gonzalez, yes, that's three Gonzalez', and wiat a sec.. you look like that dude in Cypress Hill, the background guy, th one who goes "ain't goin' out" in echo after the other guy goes "I ain't goin' out like that"... cops come and try o steal my crops... these pigs come and try to blow my house down... or something... sawed off shotgun, hand on the pump, insane in the membrane...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by peppermd [/i]
[B]LOL! You are on the fark.com personals! I knew that picture looked familiar. [/B][/QUOTE]

You got it... see, I told this before, and yeah, I went to nerve site some months back, while I was also here, and I thought, fuck it, I'd like to see what sort of freaks respond to a personals ad by me, so I did it. So far no one loves me yet, just several gay guys and some underaged girls... love the internet... oh yeah, and origami... it's actually through spring street which distributes it to several hundred sites, fark must be one of them... hell, I haven't checked that account forever and ever, just like my real e-mail... I probably need to get a new e-mail account somewhere, but like, the only stuff that ever gets sent to me is e-mails about farm animal sex and penis enlargement pills, which by the way, the ones I've been taking actually are having some effect, it's like a constant chubb... anyhow, you're probably being condescending and judging my looks in some bad way, so like, I'll take it with a grain of salt 'cause I don't see your ass posting a pic by the way...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by peppermd [/i]
[B]No, you look studlish.

This is me doing the finger through the hole thingee (blurred so it is safe for work viewing). My mouth was involuntarily reacting from immaturities that succumb from working in such closed spaces. (In other words, my mouth looks totally gay in this pic and I have no idea what happened).

[IMG]http://members.firestarters.org/meh1blur.jpg[/IMG]

Here I am in sexy mode. Ladies, hold on to your bras because this pic will make them snap off.
[IMG]http://members.firestarters.org/meisfine2.png[/IMG]

Here I am after some friends decided to dress me up as a pirate after watching Pirates of the Caribbean and drinking a couple Corona twelve packs. That strange white thing in my mouth is either a piece of gum or a loose tooth. I'm guessing the former. /checks teeth.
[IMG]http://members.firestarters.org/potcmeh.jpg[/IMG] [/B][/QUOTE]

Peach Schnapps Prodigy...?

Suddenly it's geriatric hour at the apollo...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]un gigot d'alene
mmmmm
with haricot verts
and enough red wine to last
a rhone probably
these western girls have meat on 'em [/B][/QUOTE]

translated to normal person talk... "framstedt calling alene fat/big-boned"... plump and juicy like a suckling pig...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]no, not fat, denser, less marbled meat, brock. you of all people should undertstand the difference. it's a less marbled piecce of meat that makes the gigot such a challenge to cook - because there is so little fat, one has to slow cook it, normally seven hours, for it to slide off the bone and be plated amidst buttery greenery. still, maybe you have the insdie track to alene's dimensions. what say you now, athlete? [/B][/QUOTE]

My bad... framstedt no call alene "fat", instead framstedt call alene "dense"... I understand difference all right... she's no porker, but she's daft as a head-trauma victim... which I disagree with, I think she's quite bright considering... I mean, I guess as much as I like to 'eat' women, I generally don't identify them with food in a gluttanous manner persay... metaphorically however, she's a tasty dish...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]hey, i went with the vibe that tuffy suggested, i mean he even ducked after suggesting it so i knew it was going to run me into trouble.

on the tasty dish part we agree.

ever been to the blue goose just outside of dallas, brock? [/B][/QUOTE]

If I have, I don't recall. See, I've been to many fine restaurants in the area, but most nights you'll find me down at the local chuckwagon buffet loading up on steak...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]the blue goose is a dive. a mexican restaurant with great dishes, lively atmosphere and it's cheap, cheap, cheap, i tell ya! [/B][/QUOTE]

wait, I've been there once, a friend of my brother's took us there. It wasn't so special. It was too fancy, even though it was cheap. I like my mexican restaurants, and that's like the majority of restaurants down here, to feel, oh, I don't know... mexican-ey. The Blue Goose was all white girls in college serving the food and mexicans bussing the tables and washing dishes and spraying lettuce, etc.... I like the ones where mexicans do all the shit jobs...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]i think that must've of been a different blue goose, or lese you went there on el niche de las gringas. our waiter was a lovely mulatto man, who advised us, strongly, against ordering a third entree. he kept the coronitas coming and it was just bliss. certianly not the best mexican i have ever had, but for following a whim on a business trip where one usually eats in the hotel or on the company dime, this was un divertimiento muy grande. [/B][/QUOTE]

I'm with Tuffy on this one. Authentic Tex-Mex is how I like it. Blue Goose? What kind of farkin' name for a mexican restaurant is that? Who needs a menu in english? I expect to not be able to understand them and them not to understand me and everything goes peachy keen. Just bring me some flautas, eh Jose? Muy es un importante, um, uno cerveza porfavor? Two words to know. It's simple. Corona & Jose. The rest is just hand signals...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by origamiLips [/i]
[B]amen to that brock

yes the blue goose is a bit ..off for a mexican restaurant
but even tex-mex isnt real mexican [/B][/QUOTE]

I say Tex-Mex, because authentic mexican around these parts means these little run-down house, actual residences where they prepare the food in their tiny kitchens and you eat in their living rooms on folding chairs... there are many like this, operating without licenses, but still quite savory and good... you just have to get past your normal notion of hygiene... still I'd pit them against most fast-food cooks any day in that dept...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]i am sorry i brought up the whole trip to dallas
i should have jsut kept it to the capital grille
where every meal we had was exquisite
instead i get the plumb loco remarks of senor texas himself
backed up by the nostalgia tuffy feels for cal-mex mexican food
i love truly authentic mexican food too
and none of it is smothered in cheese or ends in itoes
let's move on
anyone want to talk about the cafe francais in minneapolis?
the cassoulet there is more or less authentic but just a little salty for my taste [/B][/QUOTE]

you are such a snob fred...

cheezits and asian relics... says a lot... I don't know what, but it says something...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by fullmetalbrak [/i]
[B]Sideburns.
Ooooooo. [/B][/QUOTE]

I must now refer to izen as "lambchop" from this day forth...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by succotash moon [/i]
[B]Here's a completely random pic of a some 19yo shit-kickin' Kansas farm boy, WAAAAY back in the day, who is in no way at all related to the person posting the pic, I mean NO WAY related. [/B][/QUOTE]

You've got rural middle america down to a science...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]brock, with the silver spoon embedded in my ass since the day i was born, what can i say? i am indeed a snob. any problems with that, my good man? [/B][/QUOTE]

No problems. Since I'm giving nicknames, you are henceforth to be known in all the realms as "Little Ricky", as in "Silver Spoons" Ricky Shroeder...

[img]http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photos/021302.jpg[/img]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RuByLiCiouS [/i]
[B]bazoo [/B][/QUOTE]

very intense, those oh-so horny eyes...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]let's see a photo of the monstrous cock [/B][/QUOTE]

Don't deny little ricky the big dicky...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by origamiLips [/i]
[B]what??
sigh...

this is the trial run for geisha makeup
the eyes were wrong...but we fixed that on the day of my presentation but i fogot my diggie...

i was allegric to the makeup..so my face starting burning during the presentation...

now i am left with pimples...sigh [/B][/QUOTE]

you look like you belong in a horror movie with a stalking madman made up as a geisha... that makeup is severe with a capital "damn"...

... izen's right... 'killer mime"...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by origamiLips [/i]
[B]this is the in between stage

again, it looked a lot better on the acutal day despite me skin burning up... [/B][/QUOTE]

yes... next time a warning please...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Tuffy the Dump Truck [/i]
[B]Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD [/B][/QUOTE]

get yer troma.. troma... troma... step right up...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Tuffy the Dump Truck [/i]
[B]What part of Mexico are Belize & Ecuador in, exactly?

Anyway, I'd be happy if I could find - in Pittsburgh - some shredded pork, real tortillas (made with corn and LARD, goddamn it), and some decent chilis. [/B][/QUOTE]

There's this dude down the road about 1/2 mile who sells tamales on the side of the road from the back of his trailblazer. Fuckin' great is what they are. We [my friend and I] are actually gonna take some with us on our trek to the Texas Chainsaw Farmhouse tomorrow...