Actual conversations...
I was talking to this cute hippy/black girl after class that I've been crushing on and she asked me about my furniture class.
Me:*blah blah blah, woodworking stuff*
Her: Haha, we should get married.
I kind of just laughed a little bit, but secretly I thought it was the funniest things I've heard in awhile. Usually when I tell people I'm in the wood working program they just say they didn't even know we had wood working. End of conversation.
I forget if I mentioned this earlier but I partied with this same girl over the weekend and she did this crazy/sexy hula hoop dancing.
Make your move on cute hippie Hula hoop girl.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
She likes you, mang.
You should wood work her or something.
"Want to help me work some wood?"
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Oh yeah.
This is why we can't have nice things.
You?
Really?
Hahahaha. We have the weirdest yet not unexpected similarities.
Let's face it. We're meant to be.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I wonder how Matty'll feel about all this?
He did run out on Tuff though... for milk. Like a year and a half ago.
She lives in the same building as me, so I'll try to make something work this weekend.
We're all counting on you.
Too much pressure. Gonna go fake my own death and hide out for awhile.
I'm rooting for you but I also have like $20 against you.
What if I bang the girl I think is a lesbian instead? How about the one that just lost like 60 lbs? Typing this out is making me think, do I have a thing for girls with weird quirks, or is everybody just weird?
Everyone is a weirdo. Point. I had this conversation earlier.
Pep: BLAH BLAH BLAH blah blahdy blabal blah [et cetera]
Gabe: What makes you think you aren't creepy as eff to people?
Pep: ...
***
But like jess said, We Are Counting On You. Don't let us down.
This is why we can't have nice things.
God damnet Hula Hoop Hips. THINK ABOUT THAT!
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
(4:44:14 PM) Friend: where do you usually go for korean bbq?
(4:44:27 PM) Me: korea
i'm technically right, which is the best kind of right.
Mayfair, you are officially the coolest.
I've only seen one picture of you and that was years ago I think...
You haven't changed at all!
God damnet Hula Hoop Hips. THINK ABOUT THAT!
Haha, when she started doing it, that's the only thing I could think about. In the span of a week I went from "Gross, that girl's not wearing shoes, I hope she doesn't sit next to me." to "I need to fuck this girl asap."
I am sitting in my car at 4am waiting for Xia to get off work. Half asleep and this lady walks up
"You have beautiful knees, oh my god they are amazing, what happened to them."
"What? What, I fell a lot?"
"Oh man can I get in your car and we can talk about them?"
Needless to say no one got in my car.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
If you want it to be funny, you should edit is as 'knees'. Luckily I saw it on Facebook earlier.
She could see your knees from outside your car?? I'm going to get you a car door for Christmas.
I blame auto correct. That And lack of sleep. And I had my knees up and was leaning back in the seat. Awkward possion but it was comfy.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I was at Michael's today(craft store) picking up some instant glue so I can build some models for a class, but I couldn't seem to find any. Almost every time I'm in that store I feel immediately lost, so I asked a young girl who worked there for help. After calling up to the front to find out where the glue was(I think she was new) we finally found it. The following happened.
Me: Alright great, thanks. That's all I really needed.
Girl: No problem!
*we both walk up to the front, me to check out and she opens up a new register. After one person I end up checking out at her register*
Girl: Hi! Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Me: Yes... you were there, remember?
Girl: Ha, oh yeah, right.
Me: Alright great, thanks. That's all I really needed.
Girl: No problem!
*we both walk up to the front, me to check out and she opens up a new register. After one person I end up checking out at her register*
Girl: Hi! Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Me: Yes... you were there, remember?
Girl: Ha, oh yeah, right.
Hahaha, that's happened to me before. You get so used to spewing the same line over and over that it just pops out.
That's why I don't like people giving me standard lines at the store. Just be nice!
That remounds me of a Brian Regan joke.
Waitress: Enjoy your meal!
Regan: YOU TOO!
Waitress: Enjoy your meal!
Regan: YOU TOO!
That guy is so fuckin hilarious
I was a cashier. I had a few stock phrases but I meant them almost every time I said them.
"How was your weekend?"
I like when people ask
"How are you?"
And the responses I give are.
"not terrible"
"constipated"
"mediocre"
just to see if they are paying attention.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
When they ask me that, I say "Hello."
"How are you?"
And the responses I give are.
"not terrible"
"constipated"
"mediocre"
just to see if they are paying attention.
I like those. When I was a waitress, the answer was always either... Can I get a different side with this?
Or... Better NOW.
It was super clever every time though.
People always ask why I say please and thank you to people in rive throughs and other places like that. And I remind them that these people have controll of my food. And please and thank you are nice to hear.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
What kind of person asks why you say please and thank you? I thought everyone had manners up in your corner of the country. My aunt and uncle live in Washington. EVERYONE has manners there.
Ya but most people dont say. "May I please have a a number 3? Thank you"
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I had to follow an actual script when I was a toy demonstrator. My boss would sometimes spy on me around the corner to make sure I was saying it word for word. I used to deviate from it to piss him off.
Haha, Hattie. Go you!
When you go to the supermarket here, you will hear 3 words:
"Hello" - "Bag?" - "Receipt?/Bye"
Some skip the receipt question, while others leave out bye, and move on to the next customer.
Some people here also say "Have a nice day", but only after I do so.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Not much."
Alternately:
"Hey, what's new?"
"Fine."
This is why we can't have nice things.
When you go to the supermarket here, you will hear 3 words:
"Hello" - "Bag?" - "Receipt?/Bye"
Some skip the receipt question, while others leave out bye, and move on to the next customer.
That's so impersonal!
"Not much."
Alternately:
"Hey, what's new?"
"Fine."
How are you?
If we had more time, you could find out for yourself.
Here in the South you say please and thank you and yes/no sir/ma'am, and you ask how people are doing and you smile at them. Good manners are nice, y'all.
Aaahh fuck yaselfs with ya mannahs.
I'd prefer not to but thanks for the input! Have a good day, sir!
I'm big on the pleases and thank yous myself. Don't really care if they're ignored or not.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Glad I'm not the only one.
I just had a guy compare not being able to turn of his xbox live to living in a third world nation.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
You?
Really?
Hahahaha. We have the weirdest yet not unexpected similarities.
This is why we can't have nice things.