Actual conversations...
FUN FACT: I had trouble maintaining an erection when I had sex.
I blame it on "performance anxiety."
Considering the specifics, Justin, I would say it is entirely understandable.
This is why we can't have nice things.
You know. I've never had erection problems.
I thought of so many responses to that, Pep, and not one of 'em wouldn't cause some kind of trouble, so I'm just gonna go to sleep now.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Pussy.
I'll give it a try.
Well, you are an attractive woman, Amber. I wouldn't think a guy would have erection problems when with you.
I had so many better ones.
All quite flattering.
Too many stalkerish and/or creepy. I need to tone it down though; I'm slightly stir-crazy from my confinement.
This is why we can't have nice things.
All quite flattering.
Too many stalkerish and/or creepy. I need to tone it down though; I'm slightly stir-crazy from my confinement.
If I let being creepy stop me, I'd never leave the house.
Point is, I acted. You didn't.
I wasn't trying to creep.
If I'm meant to creep it will happen naturally.
Touché.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh good lord.
I need one of these things on my keyboard.
Gmail has a plug-in that makes you do math problems first when you try to send an email after 2 a.m.?
I had to disable it.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Sometimes just trying to figure my passwords out is like doing complex math.
I need one of these things on my keyboard.
Is this a thing? Cause I wants it.
You know in all the years I've been here I've never been sigged?
If I let being creepy stop me, I'd never leave the house.
Somebody sig this!
If I let being creepy stop me, I'd never leave the house.
Somebody sig this!
No, you
my best friend's little sister (basically my little sister) is about to graduate high school and she just started a thing with a guy she's liked for a while. she's talking to me about how she might have sex with him, and I'm talking to her about birth. her brother is a gay guy so he's not too helpful in this category. also her parents are religious:
her: birth control makes you gain weight though
me: you know what else makes you gain weight? BEING PREGNANT.
her: good point
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Good job stepping up to discussing that subject with her when there was no one else to Cammie.
Every young person needs someone with there head straight get that information through to them. Don't drop the subject!
Yeah, good on you. Make sure she's safe.
moi.. lolita: why are you such an idiot?
Fool: why am I? why do you keep saying that?
moi.. lolita: because you are
moi.. lolita: and you're annoying
moi.. lolita: and a mindfuck
Fool: why am I annoying?
Fool: and why in heavens am I am mindfuck?
moi.. lolita: you are. everything you say is so much bullshit
moi.. lolita: maybe you don't even know it
Fool: erm, I beg to differ
Fool: you're the one person in my life who I bullshit the least
moi.. lolita: well then i'd hate to be anyone else and even this fucking sentence, do you really think it works anymore?
Fool: which one?
moi.. lolita: the last thing you said, and everything in that long talk we had a few days ago
Fool: you're a moron if you think I'm lying
moi.. lolita: you do realise i can't believe you anymore, right?
Fool: donno, don't care. I'm just saying I don't have any reason to lie to you
moi.. lolita: how would i know? you lied to me before
Fool: when?
moi.. lolita: when you left and when you asked me to come over
Fool: what did I lie about?
moi.. lolita: you asked me to come over and start dating
moi.. lolita: and you omitted to tell me you were leaving for good, not just for the holidays
Fool: i never lied
moi.. lolita: no? then what was it? embellishing the truth?
moi.. lolita: if you didn't lie, then what was it?
Fool: I didn't think it thru
moi.. lolita: of course you didn't
moi.. lolita: because why on earth would you date a chick that came over the minute you asked her to?
Fool: I didn't mean that, moron
Fool: I meant the part about asking you even tho i was leaving
moi.. lolita: what??
moi.. lolita: i wasn't referring to that, and i asked you if you knew you were gonna leave *before* you asked me out and all that crap and you said you didn't know
moi.. lolita: i was referring to when i came over and we tried to fuck, but, yeah, great
Fool: I didn't know
moi.. lolita: how about what i asked?
Fool: what?
moi.. lolita: about when you asked me to come over
Fool: I didn't know i was gonna leave, dumbo
moi.. lolita: i don't mean that
Fool: what do you mean then?
moi.. lolita: /facepalm
moi.. lolita: you asked me to come over
moi.. lolita: because 'you were ready for a relationship'
moi.. lolita: if i wouldn't cheat on you
moi.. lolita: well, i think we both know that never happened
moi.. lolita: isn't that lying?
Fool: nop
moi.. lolita: no?
moi.. lolita: what then?
Fool: I don't know
moi.. lolita: i'd seriously kick you in the balls right now
I'm getting fed up of this shit.
Irina, it's not really my business but you should leave that guy alone. He's calling you "moron" and "dumbo". He doesn't seem to have any respect for you, or care for you. If a guy cares about you, he will threaten to break the neck of anyone who talks to you like that.
What is he bringing into your life other than pain and anxiety? If I were you, I'd never speak to him again.
I'm trying, but I'm an idiot and can't help talking to him once in a blue moon. But today he got me so pissed that I probably won't talk to him too soon.
Yeah, looks like you're just upsetting yourself by talking to him. I've been there before so I can't really say anything other than pretend he doesn't exist for a while. If you two can't communicate properly it will never work.
fuck that guy
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Haha yes but not literally.
I really don't like that he calls you names. He sounds like a manipulative bully. I hope you can get him out of your life for good Irina, it will be the best thing for you. You're way too good for that guy. He is a dick.
I agree with everyone else and he shouldn't be calling you names at all, I also really want to bite my tongue (fingers?) because he is an ass,,,,
but she kinda called him an idiot and annoying and a mindfuck and a liar and said she wanted to assault him...
I hate it when you guys use the tiny ass font because I CAN HARDLY SEE IT.
Is it a cultural thing? Do Romanians call each other means names as terms of endearment?
The only reason I didn't say anything about the name calling is because that's exactly how it is/was with that guy that I was "with". We've toned it down but when he first hurt me I would call him some pretty mean things and vice versa. We've apologized to each other though and I realized how immature it was to act that way. We're just friends now and even though my feelings that I used to have re-emerge at times, I know that it wouldn't work out between us.
Cute Bearded Boy I'd Like If He Wasn't So Fucking Boring: So...do you want to have sex?
Me: Not really.
No, this is only happening now. The nickname thread is full of the nice things he used to call me.
I know it'd never work out for me either, I just want to be at peace with things but for that I need to start ignoring him.
I know it'd never work out for me either, I just want to be at peace with things but for that I need to start ignoring him.
Yup. I can't remember how I managed to not end up having to see him for so long since I was still hanging out with our mutual friends. It always surprised me how nice he would be when he would see me though and I hated him for that.
Actual Conversation I had today (Random):
[See someone looking at me as we are about to walk past. I look out of the corner of my eye and realize it's hot lab partner from bio last spring]
Me: Hey!
Him: Oh hey! I thought it was you. You looked familiar. Want a pretzel?
Me: Nah. Thanks.
Him: You going to JiuJistu or something?
Me: No, was gonna go to the gym after class but I'm not feeling good and class was cancelled so I'm gonna go home.
Him: You should probably go to the gym it might make you feel better. Sit in the sauna or something.
Me: I don't know I might. I have to go pick up a book right now and head over there.
Him: Have you seen Phil(His name is Paul but this guy pretends he doesn't remember names) or whatever his name was?
Me: Yeah, I actually saw him last week he's taking a math class by where I have a class.
Him: Oh, how are things going with you guys?
Me: Ha, what are you talking about?
Him: Aren't you guys a thing? I thought you were together?
Me: Hahaha no. I'm single, always single.
And I want on my painful journey to the bookstore.
Is this the guy Matty advised you to just fuck? I think you should DO EET!
As for me, at least he's not living in my city anymore. I don't have to see him, in fact I never just bumped into him on the street, even if my highschool (and then college) were midway between his house and his college.
Yes an No. He's pretty cute but his personality turns me off and I already technically fucked a guy almost exactly like him(except that I had more of a connection with the guy I fucked) so I'm good.
Lily (who is six) bursting into my bedroom: Mom! Do you know how the earth was made?!
pepper(with trepidation in her voice, worried about what creationist bullshit some little friend may have told her): Yes I do hunny... do you?
Lily: Yeah! It was a couple of planets smashed into each other plus there was a star!
pepper: *sighs in relief and swell with pride all at once* And you know what else...
Good job, Ambermom!
Best Friend of 22 Years: You couldn't write your way out of an Arby's.
At least he didn't say Arby's menu. Not really sure how one writes themselves out of a place.
So yeah, I'm dumb. Told you guys in PA that I was going to tell the girl I've been digging on that she has beautiful eyes. Here's how it went.
She had been angry at her friends. One of her friends led me to where she sits. (not a good start)
(To friend) Me: get out of here will ya?
He leaves.
Gibdo: (upset)
Me: hey. Settle something for me, will you?
Gibdo looks at me.
Me: I knew it!
Gibdo: what?
Me: you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
Gibdo: (maybe holding back smile) you're mean.
Me: (not expecting this answer) I mean it.
And I walk away.
I was at a clinic getting blood work done. Black woman was putting my information into the computer.
Her: What's your name?
Me: Nicholas Doremus
Her: Could you spell your last name.
Me: D-O-R-E-M-U-S
Her: You're not showing up. Hmmm... is "Nicholas" not spelled with a "K"?
Me: Do I look Eastern European?
Her: Honey, you look white.
hahahahaha, that would so happen here
I've always wondered what the racist white people jokes are, you know the really bad ones that aren't ever told in front of white people at all, not just the cracker ones and stuff.
I've had the misfortune of being formerly related (former step in laws) of some very racist people, so I've heard many times all the really bad jokes, not the stereotype make you chuckle but the actually make you sick to hear ones, about anyone of dark skin. So I always wondered what the severely racist against whites countepart jokes were.
Fact*: Only white people are racist.
*Not a fact.
I've had the misfortune of being formerly related (former step in laws) of some very racist people, so I've heard many times all the really bad jokes, not the stereotype make you chuckle but the actually make you sick to hear ones, about anyone of dark skin. So I always wondered what the severely racist against whites countepart jokes were.
Just watch every Chris Rock stand-up show, ever.
So yeah, I'm dumb. Told you guys in PA that I was going to tell the girl I've been digging on that she has beautiful eyes. Here's how it went.
She had been angry at her friends. One of her friends led me to where she sits. (not a good start)
(To friend) Me: get out of here will ya?
He leaves.
Gibdo: (upset)
Me: hey. Settle something for me, will you?
Gibdo looks at me.
Me: I knew it!
Gibdo: what?
Me: you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
Gibdo: (maybe holding back smile) you're mean.
Me: (not expecting this answer) I mean it.
And I walk away.
Is she 16?
That's a clever way of asking if someone's a pedophile.
No. We're the same age. I don't actually know if she was holding back a smile or just continuing being emotional from before. It did affect her. That's where I want to be. I'm not a pedophile, Dan.. I'm 24. She's 23.
Dan, prove your friend wrong. Go to Arby's. Write on a napkin, "please escort me outside." when someone leads you out, your friend will eat his words.
Any guy having problems with their peep should watch the movie Chloe. I don't know what it is, maybe to avoid an NC17 rating, but all of Liem Neeson's sex scenes imply that he is a premature ejaculator. It's like he's saying to the audience "Hey, it happens to me too, and I'M Liem Neeson!"