Actual conversations...
Ha. You sound like me.
In a good way.
also tell him its Number Five [I]with[/I] a Bullet.
what a noob.
and if you accidentally wrote the title like that..
er..
carry on.
Me: Oh, hey.
Ana: Hi.
Me: I'm Paul.
Ana: I'm Chloe...
Me: I see you're... um, examining trees.
Ana: I am.
Me: Me too! I am a fan of trees.
Ana: I am also a fan of trees.
Me: Trees are fantastic.
Ana: I just love them. The... treeness of them.
Me: There's definitely some treeness there, for sure.
Ana: So, Paul, what do you do?
Me: I... Oh my, I'm ever so sorry, I'm simply unaccustomed to speaking with strangers.
Ana: As am I!
Me: I'm a tree-collector.
Ana: As am I!
I think I'll leave it out of context, so you may wonder what sort of sad people we are.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
No! You must tell us what it's all about...the suspense is killing me!
Gggaallh! < That's the sound of me being killed.
[QUOTE=morning_alcoholic;1050628]also tell him its Number Five [I]with[/I] a Bullet.
what a noob.
and if you accidentally wrote the title like that..
er..
carry on.[/QUOTE]
hah! he even got the title wrong. I'll go tell him. This is classic.
[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1050488]You're not hanging and Im so good. I feel so hungry and ur so good.![/QUOTE]
You are rhyming responses at me. I feel so poetically aroused, but in the drunken can possibly be taken advantage of sorta way.
We have to do a devised piece of theatre for theatre studies. Instead of asking me for a good idea, they decided to travel down the excellent route of drug abuse. I said it sounded shit and my opinion was not appreciated, here's an excerpt from the discussion.
Me: I don't mean to offend any of you or anything, but don't you think this[COLOR=Red]*[/COLOR] is a bit cliché?
Cunt1: No!
Cunt2: Obviously you do mean to offend!
Me: I'm just saying, we're marked on originality. We could do with doing something better. A new theme.
Cunt3: Everything's been done before!
Me: Not to death though.
Cunt4: Erm... maybe the peer-pressure one should be a celebrity.
Me: Yeah, I'll ask Amy Winehouse to join in. <- [B]SARCASM[/B], Amy Winehouse costume now involved.
Cunt3: Yeah!
Me: Well are we to have a moral message about drugs?
Cunts in unison: Don't do them, hahahahahaha etc.
Me: But I mean, like, are we to place blame on the fiends for starting their own habits or are we going for sympathy or what?
Cunt4: Erm, I don't think we should go in to that much detail. We should look at the bigger picture.
At this point I gave up and just did nothing more for them. Idiots. I know this sounds arrogant and all, but if they'd all just shut the fuck up and do what I told them to do we'd be fine. Bah. I'm in a mood again. Party tomorrow.
[COLOR=red]*[/COLOR] A four-part short play showcasing four scenarios of people getting into drugs and the consquences of said scenarios are present in the last one where everyone's gathered for a coke-heads funeral. The scenarios, of people getting into drugs, feature such unrepeatable pieces of ingenuity as: Peer pressure, Rape (somehow this drives the character to coke.), something else shit and then Bereavement - the initial bereavement idea was sickeningly close to the one from Trainspotting, that all of them claim to have not seen except one who says it's okay to steal, and we should do so. As a quick suggestion I said to interlay the shorts together in a Crash/Pulp Fiction etc. kind of way. So that's going to happen as much as it can do in fifteen/ten minutes.
[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;1050348]My grandma watching the news: What is CRACK cocaine? I know what cocaine is, what is crack cocaine?
My uncle: I guess it's the cheaper form of cocaine, it makes people more crazy and desperate, and is lower in cost so thats why (blah blah blah, goes off on a tangent about the amount of crack vs amount of coke vs jail time etc)
My grandma: oh. But what does it have to do with COLORED people?[/QUOTE]
Ahahaha grandmas are awesome.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE=corellion;1050735]
Me: I don't mean to offend any of you or anything, but don't you think this[COLOR=Red]*[/COLOR] is a bit cliché?
Cunt1: No!
Cunt2: Obviously you do mean to offend!
Me: I'm just saying, we're marked on originality. We could do with doing something better. A new theme.
Cunt3: Everything's been done before!
Me: Not to death though.
Cunt4: Erm... maybe the peer-pressure one should be a celebrity.
Me: Yeah, I'll ask Amy Winehouse to join in. <- [B]SARCASM[/B], Amy Winehouse costume now involved.
Cunt3: Yeah!
Me: Well are we to have a moral message about drugs?
Cunts in unison: Don't do them, hahahahahaha etc.
[B]Me: But I mean, like, are we to place blame on the fiends for starting their own habits or are we going for sympathy or what?
Cunt4: Erm, I don't think we should go in to that much detail. We should look at the bigger picture.
[/B]
[/QUOTE]
You should save that for a future script.. I immediately thought of [URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097493/]HEATHERS[/URL].
Also, my sympathies. What a drag dealing with idiots likethat for real. It's hysterical reading about it though. I bolded my favorite LOL-y moment.
[QUOTE=corellion;1050735]We have to do a devised piece of theatre for theatre studies. Instead of asking me for a good idea, they decided to travel down the excellent route of drug abuse. I said it sounded shit and my opinion was not appreciated, here's an excerpt from the discussion.
Me: I don't mean to offend any of you or anything, but don't you think this[COLOR=Red]*[/COLOR] is a bit cliché?
Cunt1: No!
Cunt2: Obviously you do mean to offend!
Me: I'm just saying, we're marked on originality. We could do with doing something better. A new theme.
Cunt3: Everything's been done before!
Me: Not to death though.
Cunt4: Erm... maybe the peer-pressure one should be a celebrity.
Me: Yeah, I'll ask Amy Winehouse to join in. <- [B]SARCASM[/B], Amy Winehouse costume now involved.
Cunt3: Yeah!
Me: Well are we to have a moral message about drugs?
Cunts in unison: Don't do them, hahahahahaha etc.
Me: But I mean, like, are we to place blame on the fiends for starting their own habits or are we going for sympathy or what?
Cunt4: Erm, I don't think we should go in to that much detail. We should look at the bigger picture.
At this point I gave up and just did nothing more for them. Idiots. I know this sounds arrogant and all, but if they'd all just shut the fuck up and do what I told them to do we'd be fine. Bah. I'm in a mood again. Party tomorrow.
[COLOR=red]*[/COLOR] A four-part short play showcasing four scenarios of people getting into drugs and the consquences of said scenarios are present in the last one where everyone's gathered for a coke-heads funeral. The scenarios, of people getting into drugs, feature such unrepeatable pieces of ingenuity as: Peer pressure, Rape (somehow this drives the character to coke.), something else shit and then Bereavement - the initial bereavement idea was sickeningly close to the one from Trainspotting, that all of them claim to have not seen except one who says it's okay to steal, and we should do so. As a quick suggestion I said to interlay the shorts together in a Crash/Pulp Fiction etc. kind of way. So that's going to happen as much as it can do in fifteen/ten minutes.[/QUOTE]
i did a little something like this in one of my drama classes. backstory: our first assignment in that class was to do a skit dealing with some sort of issuse, like drug abuse or teen pregnancy. so our teacher thought it should be our last project too just to show how much we'd grow. unlike your group though, my group all knew i was better than them and let me write all of our projects... so for our last skit, not wanting to be boring and just improve on my old skit we decided to write one including every teen problem we could. so we had drug use, teen pregnancy, driving under the influence, underaged drinking, suicide and i think one other... we had costume changes and some set changes... ours was like 20 min ... it was supposed to be like 5. to break between stories (as intros and for costume changes) we had news updates giving statistics and general talking... good times....
i'm a terrible person, in more ways than one.
What are they suggesting the bigger picture of drugs is? That they are bad across the board always every minute and you shouldn't do them or look at them?
There is hope, but not for us.
Hey, we used to do anti-drug sketches too. It was supposed to be serious, but you had the usual gang of kids who talked about drugs all the time going "Daaaaaaaaaaamn, pass da joint!" "Hahahahahaha!" "This shit is goooooooooooooooooooood."
When my group's turn came up we were all in a bitter mood because I'd been in Corellion's place arguing about the same sort of thing. I was supposed to be one of the characters who pressured the others into trying drugs. But halfway through the sketch someone whispered something to me like "Talk louder," so I started twitching on the floor and shrieking "AAAAAAAAAAAUGH OH MY GOD. I AM DYING. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT! LOOK AT ME! DEAD! ALL BECAUSE OF DRUGS! IF ONLY I'D SEEN THIS SKETCH BEFORE TRYING HEROIN."
That made me popular with everyone except my group. Figures.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=mirka;1050740]You should save that for a future script.. I immediately thought of [URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097493/]HEATHERS[/URL].
Also, my sympathies. What a drag dealing with idiots likethat for real. It's hysterical reading about it though. I bolded my favorite LOL-y moment.[/QUOTE]
You know where people hit their head against things in films and stuff. I never understood that until today. As if you need to reassure yourself your brain cells are dying at that alarming a rate, you know, you can still feel pain, still living.
Heathers looks interesting. I'll rent it out sometime.
Were you saying I should write down the transcript and save it for a script or the moral message about drugs?
[QUOTE=Mexicreatin;1050742]i did a little something like this in one of my drama classes. backstory: our first assignment in that class was to do a skit dealing with some sort of issuse, like drug abuse or teen pregnancy. so our teacher thought it should be our last project too just to show how much we'd grow. unlike your group though, my group all knew i was better than them and let me write all of our projects... so for our last skit, not wanting to be boring and just improve on my old skit we decided to write one including every teen problem we could. so we had drug use, teen pregnancy, driving under the influence, underaged drinking, suicide and i think one other... we had costume changes and some set changes... ours was like 20 min ... it was supposed to be like 5. to break between stories (as intros and for costume changes) we had news updates giving statistics and general talking... good times....[/QUOTE]
Rub it in a little more please. I wish that sort of thing would happen here, I'm not saying I'm the best in the world, but these people are going about the whole thing like half-legged retards and I just want to do a good job instead of a shitty one. This is a mock for our actual exam, when it comes to that I'm just going to tell people to do the fuck as they're told and shut up or fuck off and be really arsey and whingey about it, because they looked at me as if I just asked their grandmother how her cunt was hanging!
[QUOTE=jane s.;1050743]What are they suggesting the bigger picture of drugs is? That they are bad across the board always every minute and you shouldn't do them or look at them?[/QUOTE]I think that's it. It's some stupid fucking shit. I might be able to pinch away and sort of make it a good thing if I get to "type up" the script, and I'm able to turn it into a bit of a parody, which will go over well with their sub-standard acting. But I dunno. Mostly I'm in a mood, so don't take me too seriously. Just a shitty day in all.
[QUOTE=corellion;1050783]
Were you saying I should write down the transcript and save it for a script or the moral message about drugs?
.[/QUOTE]
I meant save the transcript in case you ever right a write a film like Heathers, Dazed and Confused, River's Edge etc.
I think you would LOVE [I]Heathers[/I].
[QUOTE=mirka;1050787]I meant save the transcript in case you ever right a write a film like Heathers, Dazed and Confused, River's Edge etc.
I think you would LOVE [I]Heathers[/I].[/QUOTE]
I agree with her, I'm sure it's your kind of movie.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=corellion;1050783]Rub it in a little more please. I wish that sort of thing would happen here, I'm not saying I'm the best in the world, but these people are going about the whole thing like half-legged retards and I just want to do a good job instead of a shitty one. This is a mock for our actual exam, when it comes to that I'm just going to tell people to do the fuck as they're told and shut up or fuck off and be really arsey and whingey about it, because they looked at me as if I just asked their grandmother how her cunt was hanging![/QUOTE]
Yeah... luckily I had a bunch of terribly quiet people who knew nothing... I let them have input on like the first skit. then I took control and wrote parts to they're personalities so they wouldn’t even have to act in anyway... they basically had to stand up and talk the way they normally did... after a while I changed into a better group with people who could actually project and still wrote everything. But I’m really awesome at it so people tend to recognize the talent... also, I would say I’d write everything during the brainstorming time, and then offer to type it up at home and just write whatever I wanted and kinda graze by topic discussed so they could feel like they had impute…
i'm a terrible person, in more ways than one.
DUDE AT BAR: Yo man we need to talk.
Me: Do I know you?
DUDE: No, but I know that you were on a blind date the other night with Kitty.
ME: Yes.
DUDE. I also know that you've been dating Jodi for about 8 months.
ME: Jodi who?
DUDE: Hey man, I'm not fucking stupid.
ME: Then you can understand my confusion.
DUDE: We're a tight circle. You're not just gonna come in here and be the big player and start screwing all my friends. I wish I would've known you were cheating on Jodi with Kitty. I would've fought you right there.
ME: I wouldn't recommend that. If the Jodi you're talking about has dark, curly hair and is standing right over there, you must have been misinformed. I've never dated that chick. Though we did fuck a couple times when I first moved here.
DUDE: She just told me that ya'll have been seeing each other since you moved here. These are my little sisters man. I'm not fucking stupid.
ME: You have to stop saying that. I'm not implying that you're stupid and when you keep repeating it sou sound like you're trying to convince yourself. Listen dude, I haven't seen that girl in months. Apparently she's bitter that I slept with Kitty so she's trying to stir up some drama. For her to say that we've been seeing each other is pathetic. We can go confront her right now and embarrass her in front of your little tight circle, which by the way I'm all for.
DUDE: Nah man. You just need to stick to one girl at a time.
ME: Are you giving me rules?
DUDE: I'm giving you a warning.
ME: You're giving me the impression that you're stuck in the friend zone with all these chicks and none of them will fuck you so you play the big brother role in hopes that one day you'll get some sympathy pussy. That about right?
DUDE: Watch your back man. [I]*walks away*[/I]
ME: Will do.
Douchbag.
[youtube]hwJ9wSoz6lY[/youtube]
[QUOTE=morey;1050830][youtube]hwJ9wSoz6lY[/youtube][/QUOTE]
:headbang:
I just saw a porn clip advertised as: "Starving mother fucks to save children." and rofld.
I just saw a porn clip of a chick fingerbanging her cervix. I <3 porn.
I love it for the comedic value.
Except the ones I have of your mother. Those have other uses. 
[QUOTE=xec8;1050630]Me: Oh, hey.
Ana: Hi.
Me: I'm Paul.
Ana: I'm Chloe...
Me: I see you're... um, examining trees.
Ana: I am.
Me: Me too! I am a fan of trees.
Ana: I am also a fan of trees.
Me: Trees are fantastic.
Ana: I just love them. The... treeness of them.
Me: There's definitely some treeness there, for sure.
Ana: So, Paul, what do you do?
Me: I... Oh my, I'm ever so sorry, I'm simply unaccustomed to speaking with strangers.
Ana: As am I!
Me: I'm a tree-collector.
Ana: As am I!
I think I'll leave it out of context, so you may wonder what sort of sad people we are.[/QUOTE]
So... her name was Chloe? Or Ana..
or both? and neither.
I'm fairly certain they were just goofing around.
ROLEPLAY = FOREPLAY. WOOO!!!
(That should be a bumper sticker. Minus the "wooo" part. And the bear. Lawls 4 cheesy references.)
well if thats the case...
whatever
i have to clean my keyboard
[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1050963]So... her name was Chloe? Or Ana..
or both? and neither.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, we were goofing around. We'd been walking together for a couple hours and just broke into this routine all of a sudden. It was odd.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=morey;1050830][youtube]hwJ9wSoz6lY[/youtube][/QUOTE]
The narrator sounded a little nit like Rod Sterrling
I don't want to be the one she tells her deep dark secrets to.
I want to [b]be[/b] her deep dark secret
So theres this bitch at work. Shes a security guard. Her names Trudy or Judy or something like that and I know that because shes responded to it when people call it out. But I wasnt sure. So today I go up to her all nice and go, Im sorry but I forget your name, is it Trudy?
She goes "Do I look like a Trudy? Where'd you get that?"
Im like "Oh, I wasnt sure..."
She goes "My names Officer Jones"
(must be a fuckin family name, you stupid twat)
"Oh wow, Im sorry..."
She starts laughing at me. Then Ralph comes in (this other guy I work with) and she goes
"Ralph! This girl thought my name was Trudy! Do I look like a Trudy? Who said I was Trudy? Ahh! At least she made me laugh!"
Then to me she goes: "You funny, girl" (shes totally being a bitch)
Me: "Well, sorry. I just thought..."
She- Whered you get that?
Me- I heard people...
She- No. But you made me laugh.
I thought she was joking to start off. I bet her name is Trudy. Or Judy. "Officer Jones" my ass. You fuckin bitch security guard. Nobody fuckin likes you. Shes black. She acted black. I was just trying to be nice. Fuck you.
You will, of course, call her Trudy every single time you see her from now on, right?
[QUOTE=karbunkle;1054005]You will, of course, call her Trudy every single time you see her from now on, right?[/QUOTE]
Im going to call her Security Guard Jones. And if she says anything Im gonna tell her I forgot.
Fuckin officer.
Jane: So what else is new?
Zach: Oh, nothing much. Geneva (across-the-street trashy neighbor) got evicted, so things have been quiet.
Jane: How'd you know that she got evicted?
Zach: They had the police tape across the door and all her stuff in a dumpster out front.
Jane: Did you dumpster dive it?
Zach: Fuck that, I don't want her negro possessions.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE=karbunkle;1054005]You will, of course, call her Trudy every single time you see her from now on, right?[/QUOTE]
when i first saw this i thought it said "Turdy" and it was like 10 time more entertaining...
i'm a terrible person, in more ways than one.
[QUOTE=jane s.;1062414]Jane: So what else is new?
Zach: Oh, nothing much. Geneva (across-the-street trashy neighbor) got evicted, so things have been quiet.
Jane: How'd you know that she got evicted?
Zach: They had the police tape across the door and all her stuff in a dumpster out front.
Jane: Did you dumpster dive it?
Zach: Fuck that, I don't want her negro possessions.[/QUOTE]
Ouch. What's worse: being called Geneva, or racism?
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
It's very concentrated racism. She's probably the worst person I've ever met, regardless of her race. Zach and I used to wander over there and watch her smoke crack in front of her teenage children. It's just funnier when you tack "negro" onto there.
There is hope, but not for us.
Me: HAHA. My internet friend made his own website with a forum, but half of the people registering can't log in.
Pavel: ...So? Why are you telling me this?
Me: He suspects that the Jews are behind this.
Pavel: Wh-what? What do the Jews have to do with anything?
Me: A lot, apparently.
Pavel: 'The Jews are behind this'? Who says stuff like that?
Me: Hitler.
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1062735]Me: HAHA. My internet friend made his own website with a forum, but half of the people registering can't log in.
Pavel: ...So? Why are you telling me this?
Me: He suspects that the Jews are behind this.
Pavel: Wh-what? What do the Jews have to do with anything?
Me: A lot, apparently.
Pavel: 'The Jews are behind this'? Who says stuff like that?
Me: Hitler.[/QUOTE]
Hahahaha!
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=jane s.;1062673]It's very concentrated racism. She's probably the worst person I've ever met, regardless of her race. Zach and I used to wander over there and watch her smoke crack in front of her teenage children. It's just funnier when you tack "negro" onto there.[/QUOTE]Says, the racist.
so we're sitting in lit today...
Sam: You do know, you're surrounded by Cult members
Ryan: Oh, a Cult? I see. And what do you do in this Cult? Do you drink hot water, like..those Mormons?
[QUOTE=morning_alcoholic;1063382]so we're sitting in lit today...
Sam: You do know, you're surrounded by Cult members
Ryan: Oh, a Cult? I see. And what do you do in this Cult? Do you drink hot water, like..those Mormons?
:|[/QUOTE]
:D
I then reply: Nah, it's all about the Kool-aid.
Ryan: Lemon-flavoured?
Me: Pfft, no, the red flavour.
Ryan: (after pause) Oh.
Hi, Mum, it's Alex. You said to ring you, so like, I figured this is your lunchtime and would probably be the best time to ring you. I still feel a little under the weather like, erm, hope you're well.
[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1063283]Says, the racist.
;)[/QUOTE]
Yeah yeah yeah. Mow my lawn, boy.
There is hope, but not for us.
I don't mow lawns, I landscape them!
I always find the whole concept of white americans being rude about immigrants highly ironic.
Yes, it is. The only reason my family lives in America is because my Irish great-grandfather was black-sheeped out of Europe.
This is an inside joke between Frank and I, though.
There is hope, but not for us.
Random Guy: Did you just poke me?
Me: No.
RG: Why the fuck did you poke me?
Me: I didn't poke you.
RG: Are you fucking around? Don't go around poking people.
Me: I have no interest in poking people, except maybe that girl over there.
RG: That's my girlfriend.
Me: Yeah, well, be thankful I didn't get you two confused.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
[QUOTE=corellion;1063527]I always find the whole concept of white americans being rude about immigrants highly ironic.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://xkcd.com/84/[/url]
I don't want to be the one she tells her deep dark secrets to.
I want to [b]be[/b] her deep dark secret
I'm not clicking that link. I don't know why; I usually click everything. That one looks sketchy, though, like there's a mugger hiding behind it just WAITing for me to click to jump me and take my wallet.
Fuck you, link!
Damn! You found out my dreaded scheme! That mugger has a wife and kids to feed!
I don't want to be the one she tells her deep dark secrets to.
I want to [b]be[/b] her deep dark secret
[QUOTE=JCarlson;1069179][url]http://xkcd.com/84/[/url][/QUOTE]
That's my favorite webcomic. I read it all the time. It's safe.
Friend: Dude, check out my new ipod.
Me: Nice...wait. what's that engraved on the back below your name?
Friend: Number Five and a Bullet
Me: That a song?
Friend: Yeah, Taking Back Sunday
Me: What's it about?
Friend: I don't know
Me: Then what's the significance?
Friend: I like the song
Me: What does "Number Five and a Bullet" even mean?
Friend: I don't know
Me: So why did you get it lasered on there?
Friend: I like the song, okay?
Me: But you don't know anything about it. 10 bucks says it's about sex or drugs or something.
Friend: Fine
I go look up the song. It's about sex.
Me: dude. That song is about sex. And it's on the back of your ipod. You owe me 10 dollars. And I get to laugh at you. A lot.
Friend: STAY OUT OF MY LIFE, OK?!??!???!!!??
Me: *laughter*