Actual conversations...

Hmmph.

[QUOTE=Nightrious;1010281]There's plenty of good reason. A good looking human is usually a healthy looking human. And why shouldn't you do your best to look good for the person you're with?[/QUOTE]

Ok, well maybe I'll reply to this before I go to bed then.

You're partially right about the good looking human = healthy human, but not necessarily. Some people just get lucky with how they're built. Like I said I admire those who can stay in shape and healthy, but it has nothing to do with love. Not the other way around.

And also, like I said, I am a naturally smaller person than my sister. I am a 4 and she is a 10. But she has huge breasts and is much taller. We were born the same. I will probably never reach 160 which she has been since puberty and is now in her mid 20s. My mother has weighed between 128 and 138 since puberty and has had three children, all in separate decades.

People are born different body types, which isn't news to you I know, but what's 'normal' or 'good-looking' to one person isn't the same as another's.

All you need is love,

Doo doo doo doo doo.

[QUOTE=aiyoku;1010290]Ok, well maybe I'll reply to this before I go to bed then.

You're partially right about the good looking human = healthy human, but not necessarily. Some people just get lucky with how they're built. Like I said I admire those who can stay in shape and healthy, but it has nothing to do with love. Not the other way around.

And also, like I said, I am a naturally smaller person than my sister. I am a 4 and she is a 10. But she has huge breasts and is much taller. We were born the same. I will probably never reach 160 which she has been since puberty and is now in her mid 20s. My mother has weighed between 128 and 138 since puberty and has had three children, all in separate decades.

People are born different body types, which isn't news to you I know, but what's 'normal' or 'good-looking' to one person isn't the same as another's.

All you need is love,

Doo doo doo doo doo.[/QUOTE]

Being in shape and looking good has nothing to do with a person's size in relation to other humans, only in relation to how they themselves should be at their fighting, running, [I]natural [/I] weight.

All you need is love, but in a realistic relationship of our modern day, sex is a major factor, and not only should you want to look good for your spouse, but you should show that willingness to improve yourself for them. It isn't necessary that you look fantastic, only that you're showing an effort, that you haven't retired your body to wilt and decay in the festering pit of marriage.

Should you not want to impress your lover?

[QUOTE]The Spare Phil says:
i mean, you know. you and i had a strange relationship.
ʞıd... says:
yeah we did
The Spare Phil says:
but i kind of wanted you sometimes. then sometimes i wanted nothing to do with you. you understand?
ʞıd... says:
I hated how you pushed me away
ʞıd... says:
and then sometimes it felt like you wanted to hold me tight
The Spare Phil says:
well, didnt you want it too?
ʞıd... says:
what do you think
The Spare Phil says:
heh, i guess we sort of fucked that one up, huh.
ʞıd... says:
yeah we kind of did
ʞıd... says:
sometimes I hated you soo much that I loved you
The Spare Phil says:
yeah, it was weird.
ʞıd... says:
it was
The Spare Phil says:
hmm.[/QUOTE]

That's that, I guess.

Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

[QUOTE]Phil: So I probably won't be seeing you for another full year then, huh.
Tabatha: Correct. But I could come visit you in Portugal.
Phil: You don't have enough Phil Points to come visit me in Portugal. You have about, oh, 17, and you need 55 before you can qualify to visit me.
Tabatha: Aha. Well, that sucks.
Phil: But you'll score massive points if you can send me some Mexican peanut butter.
Tabatha: What if I promise you sex?
Phil: Sex?
Tabatha: I want to be your groupie.
Phil: Sure, that would score you some points.
Tabatha: The next time I see you, I will fuck you.
Phil: Sounds... uh... good.[/QUOTE]

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020431]Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.[/QUOTE]
a crazy 16 years old grupie?

[QUOTE=Mr.Shadov;1020433]a crazy 16 years old grupie?[/QUOTE]
She's 21.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020435]She's 21.[/QUOTE]
too old for a grupie!

[QUOTE=Mr.Shadov;1020436]too old for a grupie![/QUOTE]
And too much of an old infatuation to pass up.

you all wanna rail me

Yes.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020431]Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.[/QUOTE]

Somehow, I get the feeling that ALL your conversations go like that.

Phil ratings are at an all-time high this season...

[QUOTE=xec8;1020437]And too much of an old infatuation to pass up.[/QUOTE]anyway, did she score enough points now? and do I have to offer you sex or Mexican peanut butter to have permission to visit you?

[QUOTE=Mr.Shadov;1020603]anyway, did she score enough points now? and do I have to offer you sex or Mexican peanut butter to have permission to visit you?[/QUOTE]
I'll see her around, I guess.
And YOU can come any time you want.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020608]I'll see her around, I guess.
And YOU can come any time you want.[/QUOTE]
I will remind you about this in five years

While standing in line at a water fountain

Little kid: Haha daddy, the water went up my nose while I was...
Father: Just shut up and drink the damn water.
Me: Bless you sir.

I was really thirsty and apparently this kid annoyed his own father as much as he annoyed me.

[QUOTE]Tab: You should have kissed me then.
Phil: I didn't want to cheat on Rebecca.
Tab: It was basically cheating anyway.
Phil: It was mutual emotional masturbation.
Tab: Come on.
Phil: Look, I'll kiss you when I see you in Mexico.
Tab (suddenly very sweet): You will?
Phil: Yeah, all right. Sure.
Tab: You were always such a jerk to me.
Phil: Incorrect.
Tab: You never said nice things.
Phil: I didn't want to cheat on Rebecca, okay.
Tab: It was basically cheating.
Phil: No, it was not.
Tab: Sometimes I hated you.
Phil: Okay, and I'm sorry.
Tab: You're such a moron. You had a perfect opportunity to have me back then.
Phil: Look. I didn't --- want --- to cheat --- on Rebecca.
Tab: Didn't you want me?
Phil: What does it matter?
Tab: Can't you say something that isn't evasive, for once?
Phil: Ugh.
Tab: Please.
Phil: Yes. I found you attractive.
Tab: So...?
Phil: But I had a girlfriend.
Tab: Yeah, but...
Phil: I did not want to cheat on this girlfriend. Okay? It was two years ago. Let it go.
Tab: Okay.
Phil: Okay.
Tab: I'm sorry.
Phil: That's all right.
Tab: But now ---
Phil: Yes, now things are different.
Tab: And ---
Phil: Maybe.
Tab: Really?
Phil: I'm usually more fond of relationships that grow organically, you know. Not with all this... uh... planning.
Tab: Okay, okay.
Phil: You understand»
Tab: Yes. But you know, I'm awful at sex.
Phil: .................
Tab: Really awful.
Phil: What.
Tab: I ---
Phil: So what?
Tab: I like it when...
Phil: What.
Tab: I like it when men dance. Like a dragon. Before sex.
Phil: Ah.
Tab: Yeah.
Phil: Can I... can we finish this tomorrow?
Tab: Sure.
Phil: 'Cause, you know, we need to think this through.
Tab: Okay. Tomorrow.
Phil: All right.
Tab: I was just joking about the dragon thing, by the way.
Phil: Oh good. Good. See ya.[/QUOTE]

I'm getting bored with these conversations.

Once I was working at Hastings, sitting in the front of the store at the returns table right after Christmas. This little kid walks by and looks at me.

Little Kid: Mom, I wanna give her a hug and a kiss!
Kid's Mom: Well...
Little Kid gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It was so cute!

[QUOTE=Lady Chaos;1022921]Once I was working at Hastings, sitting in the front of the store at the returns table right after Christmas. This little kid walks by and looks at me.

Little Kid: Mom, I wanna give her a hug and a kiss!
Kid's Mom: Well...
Little Kid gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It was so cute![/QUOTE]
I may have mentioned this in this thread already but once I was walking in town and this little boy points at me and says: "Mommy, he's beautiful!"
I laughed the entire way home.

Phil, why is it that all of the conversations you've contributed to this thread look like they came straight out of a cheesy romance paperback found at your dentist's office?

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1022930]Phil, why is it that all of the conversations you've contributed to this thread look like they came straight out of a cheesy romance paperback found at your dentist's office?[/QUOTE]
You know, they're the only ones worth sharing. I've had a lack of male friendships this year, and those guys weren't half as psychotic as the girls. I'm quite aware of how silly all these conversations sound. Sharing with you people helps me unwind after a particularly dull and emotional conversation that I don't want to be having.

I may have to write a romance novel.

I think you just may have to.

I'm not making fun of you, either way. You're the Cult's official suave, cheesy romantic. OUR cheesy romantic.

Now, anyone else who comes in here and tries to act like a Phil Jr., THEM I'd have to make fun of.

By sharing all these stories, I open myself up to any type of teasing. It doesn't get to me.

I get a lot of, "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?!"

Kids are fucking sharp, man...they don't miss a thing! They're fucking on to me! They won't be fooled...

Maybe you explained this and I missed it (and not to be rude), but are you a dude, a chick, or both (and how)?

And why are you confusing children?!

They aren't confused, they just don't know! They can't tell, and they are honest about it! I like that! It's very very honest...an honesty that is long forgotten when adulthood sinks in...

I'm a trans-girl...I live as a girl, but I have boy bits...

Gotcha ;D

[QUOTE=xec8;1020431]Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.[/QUOTE]
I try to have them on a regular basis. My honest vulgarity keeps me in touch with who I really am.
[QUOTE=succotash moon;1023015]They aren't confused, they just don't know! They can't tell, and they are honest about it! I like that! It's very very honest...an honesty that is long forgotten when adulthood sinks in...

I'm a trans-girl...I live as a girl, but I have boy bits...[/QUOTE]*regrets ever wanting to bang Moonie*

*has second thoughts. Tries everything once*

I'd make you like it, bitch!

[QUOTE=succotash moon;1023162]I'd make you like it, bitch![/QUOTE]
*thoughts turn to intimidation turn to intrigue turn to desire*

Yeah, Moonie's gettin boned.

Okay, this is maybe more than a conversation, but at work, I asked a question...

We don't run much to film, but some stuff we do. So we have a film processor (I hadn't seen one in eight years prior to getting this gig, mostly things go direct to plate these days).

Film chemistry is nasty stuff, but simple. Developer reacts with the film and produces the image based on where light hit film. Fix arrests this process so it doesn't keep going until it's so much white noise. Water rinses off fix so the film isn't too nasty.

Anyway, our film processor, the water tank has a drain that goes to the plumbing, so no worries. But the overflow from the developer and fix tanks go to a bucket, and the bucket gets carried to a sink and dumped.

Dumping this bucket is a bit of a hassle. So when we were getting a new mixer for the film processor I asked if we could also plumb the drainage so all three overflows go downt he drain.

My coworker told me this would never happen because the boss would have to spend money.

I asked my boss and he said, 'Oh, no! That stuff gets recycled. It has to go in the big blue barrel for Safety Clean to pick up.'

Okay, this was a shocker because there is no blue barrel. And you'd think the owner of the shop would have noticed the lack of a blue barrel. Or a lack of invoices and bills from Safety Clean, right?

I asked around, and a guy who's been there six years has never seen this blue barrel. Another who's been there eight years does, but only vaguely.

[B]Me, my old man and ma at the dinner table.[/B]

Mom: I have a younger sister to a student of mine from seven years ago. The one that was reading at a seventh to eighth grade at pre-kinder level.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mom: This one isn't as gifted though. I can already tell.
Me: Well that stinks.
Mom: The sister that reads very well is now a eight grader now.
Me: Is she still reading at a seventh to eight grade lvl.?
Dad: hahaha.
Mom: That is not funny.

[B]
Me and a co-worker talking on our way out the door from work.[/B]

Her: Look at the old lady with the see through shirt.
Me: God no.
Her: Why not?
Me: I don't want to witness the horror of her ma'gilla'gullies.
Her: haha.
Me: I wouldn't mind seeing you in one though.
Her: I have one...but it is up in Cranton.
Me: So you will wear one for me then.
Her: NO.
Me: You just said you had one but it's in Cranton. So you are implying you have one and would wear one but lack the convienence(sp) of wearing said item due to long distance constraints. Am I not right.
Her: no.....sorta.
Her: Well, I'm not going to buy a new one.
Me: Okay, i'll buy you that five dollar see through shirt. But only if I'm the first to see you wear it and when people ask or look at it you have to mention that I bought it for you and you are wearing it for me.
Her: you'll take me shopping.
Me: Yeah, sure. In the dressing room and everything.
Her: No. I change my mind.
Me: Hey, don't get like that.
Her: Like what?
Me: Self conscious of your thingies. Look if this makes you feel any better I won't be horrified at witnessing your bits.
Her: Haha. oh really?
Me: Dead serious, i'll even have a smile on my face for the occassion.
Her: You're crazy.

[QUOTE=UbikRex;1023681][B]Me, my old man and ma at the dinner table.[/B]

Mom: I have a younger sister to student of mine from seven years ago. The one that was reading at a seventh to eighth grade at pre-kinder level.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mom: This one isn't as gifted though. I can already tell.
Me: Well that stinks.
Mom: The sister that reads very well is now a eight grader now.
Me: Is she still reading at a seventh to eight grade [SIZE=7]lvl[/SIZE].
Dad: hahaha.
Mom: That is not funny.

[B]
Me and a co-worker talking on our way out the door from work.[/B]

Her: Look at the old lady with the see through shirt.
Me: God no.
Her: Why not?
Me: I don't want to witness the horror of her ma'gilla'gullies.
Her: haha.
Me: I wouldn't mind seeing you in one though.
Her: I have one...but it is up in Cranton.
Me: So you will wear one for me then.
Her: NO.
Me: You just said you had one but it's in Cranton. So you are implying you have one and would wear one but lack the convienence(sp) of wearing said item due to long distance constraints. Am I not right.
Her: no.....sorta.
Her: Well, I'm not going to buy a new one.
Me: Okay, i'll buy you that five dollar see through shirt. But only if I'm the first to see you wear it and when people ask or look at it you have to mention that I bought it for you and you are wearing it for me.
Her: you'll take me shopping.
Me: Yeah, sure. In the dressing room and everything.
Her: No. I change my mind.
Me: Hey, don't get like that.
Her: Like what?
Me: Self conscious of your thingies. Look if this makes you feel any better I won't be horrified at witnessing your bits.
Her: Haha. oh really?
Me: Dead serious, i'll even have a smile on my face for the occassion.
Her: You're crazy.[/QUOTE]

Gamer lingo!!!1

thats all you have to say to that.

At the moment, I suppose. I found your conversation amusing. Just no place to up and say that, you know? It's been so long since I've seen lvl spelled like that. I got excited.

BY FAR the most disturbing phone conversation I have ever had, ever.

Me: You're sounding awfully weird.
Amelie: I have to tell you something.
Me: Go on.
Amelie: You promise you're not gonna freak out or anything?
Me: Um...
Amelie: This is really bad, okay. Don't get crazy.
Me: What did you do?
Amelie: Hold on. Let me close the door.
Me: Okay.
Amelie: You still there?
Me: Yes. Tell me.
Amelie: Okay... okay. A couple of nights ago, I...
Me: Who was it?
Amelie: Huh?
Me: Who'd you sleep with?
Amelie: Well, nobody.
Me: What is it? You can tell me.
Amelie: You remember how we were talking about your mother? And I was saying she dressed very well.
Me: Ye...ah.
Amelie: I, uh... okay, that night, I dreamt that I was having sex... with your mother.
Me: What?
Amelie: I was fucking your mother. In my dream.
Me: What?
Amelie: I was eating your mother out.
Me: Why. Why. Why are you telling me this?
Amelie: I thought you'd want to know.
Me: No. No. No. No no no no no. I don't want to know this.
Amelie: I'm sorry. I had to tell you.
Me: Ugh.
Amelie: I love you.
Me: I'll call you back in a couple minutes.

i spell it that way all the time. those missing two double E's save me about .6 of a second on the keystrokes and that time is well saved with blinking my eyes after I finish a comment and hit post quick reply

The I love you....Sent baby chills down my spine.

Ugh...

My mom, sleepeating a bacon, mayonaise, peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.

Me: Ma! MA! SANDWHICH IS GOING DOWN.
Mom: *continues to wake up a little, only enough to continue eatting horrible sandwhich*
Me: MA! MA! *gets tired of the novelty of the horrible sandwhich shenanigans and steals and throws away said sandwhich*
Mom: *wakes up, only enough to sleepwalk & talk and starts looking through the covers in her bed* my sandwhich got lost...
Me: Mom, you tried to eat a bacon, mayo, pb&j sandwhich.
Mom: *still sleeptalking* Oh, yeah, I could eat sumfink....*heads back into the kitchen*

so was she really sleep eating? How is that possible???

[B]My dad.[/B]

Dad: So there was this married couple of thirty years and the wife was looking at herself in the mirror and began speaking outloud about her figure which wasn't very appealing. she went on to say this

Lady: I'm so fat, wrinkled and ugly.
Husband: ......
Lady: This is where you pay me some sort of compliment to boost my self confidence.
Husband: well.....your eyesight is near perfect.

Me: haha

[QUOTE=xec8;1023695]Ugh...[/QUOTE]

Don't take this wrong, but is your mother attractive?

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;1023696]My mom, sleepeating a bacon, mayonaise, peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.

Me: Ma! MA! SANDWHICH IS GOING DOWN.
Mom: *continues to wake up a little, only enough to continue eatting horrible sandwhich*
Me: MA! MA! *gets tired of the novelty of the horrible sandwhich shenanigans and steals and throws away said sandwhich*
Mom: *wakes up, only enough to sleepwalk & talk and starts looking through the covers in her bed* my sandwhich got lost...
Me: Mom, you tried to eat a bacon, mayo, pb&j sandwhich.
Mom: *still sleeptalking* Oh, yeah, I could eat sumfink....*heads back into the kitchen*[/QUOTE]
Ambien CR?
My aunt did the same shit.

Heres a fairly uncomfotable convo I had at work today
He: So you like workin here?
Eye: It affords me time to read and play on the computer
He: I do that too
Eye: So is that it?
He: Thats it (wink)
Eye: So... are you on our mailing list?
He: I think so
Eye: Can I have your phone number?
He: I think its a little soon
Eye: 'Scuse me?
He: I mean, Id like to give you my phone number...
Eye: ...
He: I dont even know your name.
Eye: Uhh...
He: Its 555-5555 (wink)
Eye: 23.58
He: Youre cheap
Eye: Thank you? Have a nice day...

ohmigod

Yeah, Ambien, but we've both done it forever. It's a stress thing. My boyfriend was laughing at me the other day cause I flipped out at him for eatting all of my Oreos...and then he said "you really dont remember? i woke up and you were just sitting on the edge of the bed, I watched you eat maybe thirty of them before i took them away."

Me to my cousin at my dad's funeral: Yeah, we have to hang out again soon, but maybe this time destroy less property.

Me great uncle: You just said that, didn't you? I'll keep it in mind next time I'm 'hanging out' with Aunt Kathy.

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1023750]Ambien CR?
My aunt did the same shit.

Heres a fairly uncomfotable convo I had at work today
He: So you like workin here?
Eye: It affords me time to read and play on the computer
He: I do that too
Eye: So is that it?
He: Thats it (wink)
Eye: So... are you on our mailing list?
He: I think so
Eye: Can I have your phone number?
He: I think its a little soon
Eye: 'Scuse me?
He: I mean, Id like to give you my phone number...
Eye: ...
He: I dont even know your name.
Eye: Uhh...
He: Its 555-5555 (wink)
Eye: 23.58
He: Youre cheap
Eye: Thank you? Have a nice day...

ohmigod[/QUOTE]
Creepy.

That reminded me of when I was up in Wisconsin last week. We had just closed down a bar and so people were leaving.

This guy*: :walking to exit:
Drunk blonde with her boobs hanging out: : places arms across door to prevent me from exiting:
This guy: Excuse me
DBw/HBHO: Give me five bucks and you can pass
This guy: Five bucks?
DBw/HBHO: Yep, five bucks.
This guy: Wow, your pretty cheap. I think you were worth atleast a sawbuck.
DBw/HBHO: A Sawbuck? Is that even money?
This guy: Yes. Don't look now but I can see one of your nipples.
DBw/HBHO: : pulls arm away to cover up her nip that wasn't really hanging out
This guy: Good night :leaves:

*This guy = Me

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;1023754]Yeah, Ambien, but we've both done it forever. It's a stress thing. My boyfriend was laughing at me the other day cause I flipped out at him for eatting all of my Oreos...and then he said "you really dont remember? i woke up and you were just sitting on the edge of the bed, I watched you eat maybe thirty of them before i took them away."[/QUOTE]

I don't believe this.

[QUOTE=Nightrious;1023757]I don't believe this.[/QUOTE]

[URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DhETvNxBT4]Sleep eating[/URL]