Actual conversations...

Yes.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020431]Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.[/QUOTE]

Somehow, I get the feeling that ALL your conversations go like that.

Phil ratings are at an all-time high this season...

[QUOTE=xec8;1020437]And too much of an old infatuation to pass up.[/QUOTE]anyway, did she score enough points now? and do I have to offer you sex or Mexican peanut butter to have permission to visit you?

[QUOTE=Mr.Shadov;1020603]anyway, did she score enough points now? and do I have to offer you sex or Mexican peanut butter to have permission to visit you?[/QUOTE]
I'll see her around, I guess.
And YOU can come any time you want.

[QUOTE=xec8;1020608]I'll see her around, I guess.
And YOU can come any time you want.[/QUOTE]
I will remind you about this in five years

While standing in line at a water fountain

Little kid: Haha daddy, the water went up my nose while I was...
Father: Just shut up and drink the damn water.
Me: Bless you sir.

I was really thirsty and apparently this kid annoyed his own father as much as he annoyed me.

Edited for silliness!

Once I was working at Hastings, sitting in the front of the store at the returns table right after Christmas. This little kid walks by and looks at me.

Little Kid: Mom, I wanna give her a hug and a kiss!
Kid's Mom: Well...
Little Kid gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It was so cute!

[QUOTE=Lady Chaos;1022921]Once I was working at Hastings, sitting in the front of the store at the returns table right after Christmas. This little kid walks by and looks at me.

Little Kid: Mom, I wanna give her a hug and a kiss!
Kid's Mom: Well...
Little Kid gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It was so cute![/QUOTE]
I may have mentioned this in this thread already but once I was walking in town and this little boy points at me and says: "Mommy, he's beautiful!"
I laughed the entire way home.

Phil, why is it that all of the conversations you've contributed to this thread look like they came straight out of a cheesy romance paperback found at your dentist's office?

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1022930]Phil, why is it that all of the conversations you've contributed to this thread look like they came straight out of a cheesy romance paperback found at your dentist's office?[/QUOTE]
You know, they're the only ones worth sharing. I've had a lack of male friendships this year, and those guys weren't half as psychotic as the girls. I'm quite aware of how silly all these conversations sound. Sharing with you people helps me unwind after a particularly dull and emotional conversation that I don't want to be having.

I may have to write a romance novel.

I think you just may have to.

I'm not making fun of you, either way. You're the Cult's official suave, cheesy romantic. OUR cheesy romantic.

Now, anyone else who comes in here and tries to act like a Phil Jr., THEM I'd have to make fun of.

By sharing all these stories, I open myself up to any type of teasing. It doesn't get to me.

I get a lot of, "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?!"

Kids are fucking sharp, man...they don't miss a thing! They're fucking on to me! They won't be fooled...

Maybe you explained this and I missed it (and not to be rude), but are you a dude, a chick, or both (and how)?

And why are you confusing children?!

They aren't confused, they just don't know! They can't tell, and they are honest about it! I like that! It's very very honest...an honesty that is long forgotten when adulthood sinks in...

I'm a trans-girl...I live as a girl, but I have boy bits...

Gotcha ;D

[QUOTE=xec8;1020431]Phone conversation from two minutes ago:

This is from a girl I've never even kissed. I've never had a conversation quite like this.[/QUOTE]
I try to have them on a regular basis. My honest vulgarity keeps me in touch with who I really am.
[QUOTE=succotash moon;1023015]They aren't confused, they just don't know! They can't tell, and they are honest about it! I like that! It's very very honest...an honesty that is long forgotten when adulthood sinks in...

I'm a trans-girl...I live as a girl, but I have boy bits...[/QUOTE]*regrets ever wanting to bang Moonie*

*has second thoughts. Tries everything once*

I'd make you like it, bitch!

[QUOTE=succotash moon;1023162]I'd make you like it, bitch![/QUOTE]
*thoughts turn to intimidation turn to intrigue turn to desire*

Yeah, Moonie's gettin boned.

Okay, this is maybe more than a conversation, but at work, I asked a question...

We don't run much to film, but some stuff we do. So we have a film processor (I hadn't seen one in eight years prior to getting this gig, mostly things go direct to plate these days).

Film chemistry is nasty stuff, but simple. Developer reacts with the film and produces the image based on where light hit film. Fix arrests this process so it doesn't keep going until it's so much white noise. Water rinses off fix so the film isn't too nasty.

Anyway, our film processor, the water tank has a drain that goes to the plumbing, so no worries. But the overflow from the developer and fix tanks go to a bucket, and the bucket gets carried to a sink and dumped.

Dumping this bucket is a bit of a hassle. So when we were getting a new mixer for the film processor I asked if we could also plumb the drainage so all three overflows go downt he drain.

My coworker told me this would never happen because the boss would have to spend money.

I asked my boss and he said, 'Oh, no! That stuff gets recycled. It has to go in the big blue barrel for Safety Clean to pick up.'

Okay, this was a shocker because there is no blue barrel. And you'd think the owner of the shop would have noticed the lack of a blue barrel. Or a lack of invoices and bills from Safety Clean, right?

I asked around, and a guy who's been there six years has never seen this blue barrel. Another who's been there eight years does, but only vaguely.

[B]Me, my old man and ma at the dinner table.[/B]

Mom: I have a younger sister to a student of mine from seven years ago. The one that was reading at a seventh to eighth grade at pre-kinder level.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mom: This one isn't as gifted though. I can already tell.
Me: Well that stinks.
Mom: The sister that reads very well is now a eight grader now.
Me: Is she still reading at a seventh to eight grade lvl.?
Dad: hahaha.
Mom: That is not funny.

[B]
Me and a co-worker talking on our way out the door from work.[/B]

Her: Look at the old lady with the see through shirt.
Me: God no.
Her: Why not?
Me: I don't want to witness the horror of her ma'gilla'gullies.
Her: haha.
Me: I wouldn't mind seeing you in one though.
Her: I have one...but it is up in Cranton.
Me: So you will wear one for me then.
Her: NO.
Me: You just said you had one but it's in Cranton. So you are implying you have one and would wear one but lack the convienence(sp) of wearing said item due to long distance constraints. Am I not right.
Her: no.....sorta.
Her: Well, I'm not going to buy a new one.
Me: Okay, i'll buy you that five dollar see through shirt. But only if I'm the first to see you wear it and when people ask or look at it you have to mention that I bought it for you and you are wearing it for me.
Her: you'll take me shopping.
Me: Yeah, sure. In the dressing room and everything.
Her: No. I change my mind.
Me: Hey, don't get like that.
Her: Like what?
Me: Self conscious of your thingies. Look if this makes you feel any better I won't be horrified at witnessing your bits.
Her: Haha. oh really?
Me: Dead serious, i'll even have a smile on my face for the occassion.
Her: You're crazy.

[QUOTE=UbikRex;1023681][B]Me, my old man and ma at the dinner table.[/B]

Mom: I have a younger sister to student of mine from seven years ago. The one that was reading at a seventh to eighth grade at pre-kinder level.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mom: This one isn't as gifted though. I can already tell.
Me: Well that stinks.
Mom: The sister that reads very well is now a eight grader now.
Me: Is she still reading at a seventh to eight grade [SIZE=7]lvl[/SIZE].
Dad: hahaha.
Mom: That is not funny.

[B]
Me and a co-worker talking on our way out the door from work.[/B]

Her: Look at the old lady with the see through shirt.
Me: God no.
Her: Why not?
Me: I don't want to witness the horror of her ma'gilla'gullies.
Her: haha.
Me: I wouldn't mind seeing you in one though.
Her: I have one...but it is up in Cranton.
Me: So you will wear one for me then.
Her: NO.
Me: You just said you had one but it's in Cranton. So you are implying you have one and would wear one but lack the convienence(sp) of wearing said item due to long distance constraints. Am I not right.
Her: no.....sorta.
Her: Well, I'm not going to buy a new one.
Me: Okay, i'll buy you that five dollar see through shirt. But only if I'm the first to see you wear it and when people ask or look at it you have to mention that I bought it for you and you are wearing it for me.
Her: you'll take me shopping.
Me: Yeah, sure. In the dressing room and everything.
Her: No. I change my mind.
Me: Hey, don't get like that.
Her: Like what?
Me: Self conscious of your thingies. Look if this makes you feel any better I won't be horrified at witnessing your bits.
Her: Haha. oh really?
Me: Dead serious, i'll even have a smile on my face for the occassion.
Her: You're crazy.[/QUOTE]

Gamer lingo!!!1

thats all you have to say to that.

At the moment, I suppose. I found your conversation amusing. Just no place to up and say that, you know? It's been so long since I've seen lvl spelled like that. I got excited.

Real names, etc.

i spell it that way all the time. those missing two double E's save me about .6 of a second on the keystrokes and that time is well saved with blinking my eyes after I finish a comment and hit post quick reply

The I love you....Sent baby chills down my spine.

Ugh...

so was she really sleep eating? How is that possible???

[B]My dad.[/B]

Dad: So there was this married couple of thirty years and the wife was looking at herself in the mirror and began speaking outloud about her figure which wasn't very appealing. she went on to say this

Lady: I'm so fat, wrinkled and ugly.
Husband: ......
Lady: This is where you pay me some sort of compliment to boost my self confidence.
Husband: well.....your eyesight is near perfect.

Me: haha

[QUOTE=xec8;1023695]Ugh...[/QUOTE]

Don't take this wrong, but is your mother attractive?

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;1023696]My mom, sleepeating a bacon, mayonaise, peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.

Me: Ma! MA! SANDWHICH IS GOING DOWN.
Mom: *continues to wake up a little, only enough to continue eatting horrible sandwhich*
Me: MA! MA! *gets tired of the novelty of the horrible sandwhich shenanigans and steals and throws away said sandwhich*
Mom: *wakes up, only enough to sleepwalk & talk and starts looking through the covers in her bed* my sandwhich got lost...
Me: Mom, you tried to eat a bacon, mayo, pb&j sandwhich.
Mom: *still sleeptalking* Oh, yeah, I could eat sumfink....*heads back into the kitchen*[/QUOTE]
Ambien CR?
My aunt did the same shit.

Heres a fairly uncomfotable convo I had at work today
He: So you like workin here?
Eye: It affords me time to read and play on the computer
He: I do that too
Eye: So is that it?
He: Thats it (wink)
Eye: So... are you on our mailing list?
He: I think so
Eye: Can I have your phone number?
He: I think its a little soon
Eye: 'Scuse me?
He: I mean, Id like to give you my phone number...
Eye: ...
He: I dont even know your name.
Eye: Uhh...
He: Its 555-5555 (wink)
Eye: 23.58
He: Youre cheap
Eye: Thank you? Have a nice day...

ohmigod

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1023750]Ambien CR?
My aunt did the same shit.

Heres a fairly uncomfotable convo I had at work today
He: So you like workin here?
Eye: It affords me time to read and play on the computer
He: I do that too
Eye: So is that it?
He: Thats it (wink)
Eye: So... are you on our mailing list?
He: I think so
Eye: Can I have your phone number?
He: I think its a little soon
Eye: 'Scuse me?
He: I mean, Id like to give you my phone number...
Eye: ...
He: I dont even know your name.
Eye: Uhh...
He: Its 555-5555 (wink)
Eye: 23.58
He: Youre cheap
Eye: Thank you? Have a nice day...

ohmigod[/QUOTE]
Creepy.

That reminded me of when I was up in Wisconsin last week. We had just closed down a bar and so people were leaving.

This guy*: :walking to exit:
Drunk blonde with her boobs hanging out: : places arms across door to prevent me from exiting:
This guy: Excuse me
DBw/HBHO: Give me five bucks and you can pass
This guy: Five bucks?
DBw/HBHO: Yep, five bucks.
This guy: Wow, your pretty cheap. I think you were worth atleast a sawbuck.
DBw/HBHO: A Sawbuck? Is that even money?
This guy: Yes. Don't look now but I can see one of your nipples.
DBw/HBHO: : pulls arm away to cover up her nip that wasn't really hanging out
This guy: Good night :leaves:

*This guy = Me

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;1023754]Yeah, Ambien, but we've both done it forever. It's a stress thing. My boyfriend was laughing at me the other day cause I flipped out at him for eatting all of my Oreos...and then he said "you really dont remember? i woke up and you were just sitting on the edge of the bed, I watched you eat maybe thirty of them before i took them away."[/QUOTE]

I don't believe this.

[QUOTE=Nightrious;1023757]I don't believe this.[/QUOTE]

[URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DhETvNxBT4]Sleep eating[/URL]

[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1023761][URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DhETvNxBT4]Sleep eating[/URL][/QUOTE]

That dude's not asleep, he's shit-faced!!

[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1023761][URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DhETvNxBT4]Sleep eating[/URL][/QUOTE]

That's some bullshit right there.

*convinced*

Hahahahahah!

(evil laugh^)

*eats a grape*

I don't know if you guys frequent the whatareyoueatingrightnow thread, but I am eating a fruit tray.

I saw one thing about sleep eating where this guy spread peanut butter on a telephone then stuck a piece of bread on top and tried to eat it like a sandwich. That was awesome.

[QUOTE=succotash moon;1023746]Don't take this wrong, but is your mother attractive?[/QUOTE]
Well, she's forty-seven but looks thirty-five, and she has no grey hairs, and she's slim and tanned. I can see why men would want her. But my girlfriend?

[QUOTE=xec8;1023919]Well, she's forty-seven but looks thirty-five, and she has no grey hairs, and she's slim and tanned. I can see why men would want her. But my girlfriend?[/QUOTE]

I ask only because I can't keep up with your girls, but isn't she the bi-curious one?

[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1023921]I ask only because I can't keep up with your girls, but isn't she the bi-curious one?[/QUOTE]
Yes, yes she is.

It was just a dream, they are silly anyways, I am quite sure your girlfriend doesn't want to ACTUALLY screw your mother...

But you know, maybe she just sees in her the things she loves about you!

And stuff...

[QUOTE=xec8;1023922]Yes, yes she is.[/QUOTE]

Well, that explains a little but I guess it does suck that she had a sex dream about your mom, but on the other hand I've had a sex dream about a former girlfriend's mom before. Back in high school.

I dunno, the whole thing's a bit weird. Having a bisexual girlfriend was great when it meant that if I walked into a room and saw her making out with another girl, I could join them. This is not so cool. In fact, it's not cool at all.

I guess you have to take the good with the bad. In this case, the very bad.