10 Reasons to jump off the Golden Gate bridge.
10. You find out your boyfriend has been serial fucking all your friends.
9. There's pretty shapes in the clouds.
8. Your friends hired Barry Manilow for your bachelor party.
7. You can't hit the ceiling fan with your semen.
6. All you care about is "owning" people.
5. You light your hair on fire by accident when you get sick of plucking your ear hair and decide to burn it off.
4. There's pretty shapes in the clouds.
3. Your parents leave you out of their will because you're gay.
2. You have sex with aliens and you get pregnant.
1. The Golden Gate bridge is not high enough above the water to kill yourself by jumping off of it.