REMAINING MEN TOGETHER
I'm pretty sure that in the years I haven't been here, someone's already used that subject title. But I still thought it would be interesting to have a thread discussing times when we felt we might as well not have any balls (those of us who have them, of course). Times when we just could not man up to the situation, or we just couldn't handle it with dignity. Then you can discuss what you learned about yourself from the experience, and how it might have influenced your life.
I guess I'll start. In my sophomore year in high school, I had gone to a sort of debate trip. I was part of an organization where they train you to create arguments and speak publicly to large audiences. I must say it was a grueling experience. We had sessions every day with the most scrutinizing coaches you could ever meet. Far worse than any football coach I'd met. They KNEW how to demean a person. Anyway, after the training, I was sent off to a competition in another state. We all spent long days and sleepless nights preparing during the week for our big moment in front of a few dozen people, most of which were the competition. Needless to say, I was tired. I was on the brink of passing out. But when you're called up, it's like jumping in an ice cold pool after taking 7 shots of tequila. The chills sober you up, and you have no idea what you're supposed to do. When I get up there... I just bombed. I choked. I couldn't breathe. I got dizzy. I simply fucked it up. That's about as much as I can remember about the incident.
That's not the bad part. Afterwards, I ran off the stage, went into the lunchroom area, and sat with these people I had just met. I'm in tears, and I just couldn't hold them back. They were so worried, they kept asking me, "What happened?" "What's wrong?" I could not bring myself to tell them the truth: That I was crying because I choked in my debate. I felt like such a pussy about that. So instead, in a split second decision, I said, "My grandma died." That was the moment that sealed it. That was the moment I felt like I could not call myself a man for the rest of my life. Not only did I cry over such a stupid thing, I lied about my grandma's death because I was worried of what a group of strangers might think of me.
What I learned from this experience is how screwed up my priorities had been. I learned how susceptible I was to what other people thought of me. I learned how ridiculous it was to let other people convince me of how important they thought something was. And then, believe it or not, I saw Fight Club for the first time that very night. That day was the turning point of my life. I don't think I've shed a tear since.
Now, could someone please tell me a story? I'm sure the people on this site are, and have always been, a lot stronger than me. But still. I just thought this would be interesting.
Burned out.
Sorry about that. It was a Fight Club theme I couldn't resist.
Burned out.
Terrible. Take a lap.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
When we found out my sister had Ebola, Fight Club kept me from crying.
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST TALE EVER TOLD EVER.
Two blondes walked into a train track. Between the two of them, you'd think they'd--
When we found out my sister had Ebola, Fight Club kept me from crying.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
But what I do I do because I like to do.
Terrible. Take a lap.
I have not heard someone use that phrase in years.
That was awesome Steve!
^5!
Yeah, I'm a little confused about that post, too. I suppose you're saying it's a good thing. The fact that you remember shows it impacted you. But Fight Club made you handle it better.
Burned out.
When did Fight Club keep you from crying?
*When my wife left me
*When my kids said they hated me
*When my dog got shot
*When i got addicted to opium and my wife left me and took our kids who hate me and my dog got shot by drug dealers I couldn't pay back.
What about you?
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST TALE EVER TOLD EVER.
Two blondes walked into a train track. Between the two of them, you'd think they'd--
That's rough, man. I feel guilty just mentioning any of my tragedies. But when my cousin's baby died in her womb, we all held her after they took her out. Every funeral of every family member. Uuuh, can't really recall anything more serious than that.
Burned out.
Ritt is leaving out all the really bad shit that happened to him...
Because those were the times Fight Club couldn't stop him from crying? What is he, a Vietnam vet? None of this comment is meant to be sarcastic, by the way.
Burned out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure every post in here has been sarcastic.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
Thus, we see why the internet is evil.
I had a suspected as much, but I couldn't bring myself to risk disrespecting someone by assuming they were joking. That'd be quite the Larry David moment.
Burned out.
Six, you always know the write thing to say.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
When I first saw Fight Club, all I could think about was titty-fucking Meatloaf.
The shame.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
How often do we really need our balls as it is? Maybe two/three times a week?
My balls double as batteries for my Iron Man heart.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
Do you roll em around in your palm like those chinese medicine balls to create friction and generate heat and energy?
REMAIN A MAN, EJACULATE BATTERY ACID.
I think that's Male Aliens.
Do you roll em around in your palm like those chinese medicine balls to create friction and generate heat and energy?
HA! I wish. I actually have to jam my two-pronged dick into a wall socket to charge them.
I have a hemi-pene.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
I saw a porno like that once, but his were on top of each other. So I guess he had to lay sideways to charge them. Seem an inconvenience.
Whoa. I totally think I saw that same porno. I'm not even kidding. What if we were watching it at the same time? That would be super creepy. It would be like we did it.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
lqtm
Sometimes when I'm really stoned, and I close my eyes, I can't honestly say whether or not I'm wearing a hat. - Nightrious
well, I don't know how old you are but the one I saw was on a VHS tape.
Do you roll em around in your palm like those chinese medicine balls to create friction and generate heat and energy?
HA! I wish. I actually have to jam my two-pronged dick into a wall socket to charge them.
I have a hemi-pene.
BALLS DEEP IN A HEMI
I think VHS is some kind of learnin' card for fancy robots. So maybe I am a bit young.
But what I do I do because I like to do.
Well, this was an utter failure. *sigh*, no more threads from me.
Burned out.
That, in itself, is a success.
Sometimes when I'm really stoned, and I close my eyes, I can't honestly say whether or not I'm wearing a hat. - Nightrious
Way to go, Smartazboy. You're the pride of our generation's ego and misplaced cynicism. I'm sure you'll change the world with those qualities.
Burned out.
Way to go, Smartazboy. You're the pride of our generation's ego and misplaced cynicism. I'm sure you'll change the world with those qualities.
I too, am quite sure of this.
Well, this was an utter failure. *sigh*, no more threads from me.
You got 30+ replies. That's pretty good. A thread isn't a failure unless no one replies to it.
callin me a failure? i think i've had 4, maybe 5 of those! still counting
Deer Valley-Seven Springs
winter '08
Thats alright Ritt. Let it all out! Time to hug. *crys
callin me a failure? i think i've had 4, maybe 5 of those! still counting
You just gotta take the shotgun approach. I've probably got like 10-12 of them like that. Just make so many threads that some of them are bound to be successful. Just don't try making them all in one day.
What a sexist thread.
But what I do I do because I like to do.