Rainn Wilson & James Gunn's 15 Rules of 'Fight Club'
Hey Y'all,
Caught these on Twitter. They made me giggle.
If you don't know, Rainn Wilson plays the popular character "Dwight Schrute" on "The Office." James Gunn is a writer and film director who, like me, was once married to the actress Jenna Fischer*.
You can follow these fine fellows on Twitter @james_gunn and @rainnwilson. Most are posted on James Gunn's page, though.
Anyways, um... yeah:
RT @rainnwilson First rule of Fight Club? Don't talk about 'potpourri'.
Second rule of fight club? Don't put a cigarette in your penis and pretend like it's smoking.
RT @trollishtwit Third rule of fight club, always know where it is held so you don't need to stop and ask for directions to Fight Club
Fourth rule of Fight Club: The safe word is 'Bernadette Peters.'
Fifth rule of Fight Club: Don't put peanuts in any of the pot luck items. Sal is deathly allergic.
RT @EdouardBond Sixth rule of Fight Club: Turn off your cell phone.
Seventh rule of Fight Club: No one wearing any Ed Hardy apparel will be allowed to enter Fight Club.
Eighth rule of Fight Club: You have to admit, it's still fucking hilarious when Philip does jazz hands in the middle of a fight.
Ninth rule of Fight Club: No, the Lord's Prayer at the end of Fight Club is not mandatory, but please by respectful of others who pray.
Tenth rule of Fight Club: Just wearing a Ramones T-shirt doesn't make you hip.
Eleventh rule of Fight Club: Anyone sending me a Facebook invitation to play Farmville will be immediately ejected from Fight Club.
RT @peteralton Twelfth rule of fight club: Don't flush the paper towels. We've had a lot of plumbing problems from idiots doing this.
Thirteenth rule of Fight Club: No air saxophone in Fight Club.
14th rule of Fight Club: Don't do a "retarded voice" in Fight Club. Kenny's brother has Down syndrome and he's, understandably, sensitive.
RT @Brandon007 Fifteenth rule of Fight Club. Smile! This is supposed to be fun, you guys!
The End! 
*in regards to my claim of having once been married to the amazing actress, Jenna Fischer: this post will remain here, presumably forever. And someday - IN THE FUTURE - I have reason to believe our marriage will happen. She'll catch on quick that I'm a total dick, though. So it won't last long. Hence, she will be my second ex-wife and I, her third ex-husband.
but i did think these were funny.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
Hmm, interesting. Seems like I've been hearing about more and more celebs being Baha'i.
it's actually a really cool religion. I think that it could be legit!! I never say that. Read Childhood's End.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
Baha'i is Old School Scientology.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Thats awesome that you've met Rainn Wilson. He's one funny dude.
It's so lovely when the worlds collide, and the ship spins out of control.
Any religion is a bunch of lies.
Hey guys,
Just a head's up that I have promoted this wonderful thread to our front page as News. So you may see a spike in views and comments today.
Wanna have the pants scared off you in 90 seconds?
Watch 'Laundry Day', my new horror short:
Any religion is a bunch of lies.
Stop enturbulating us, suppressive person.
Oh no, monkeywright! Please forgive my suppressive personality! I was under the impression that this was an open discussion where I can voice, or rather, write my opinions. And I'm going to continue to do so.
Xemu says you are mistaken.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
She's coated in negative engrams!
I proposed to her once. She backed away quickly and fell down a flight of stairs and broke her spine in several places.
My advice: don't propose to her near stairs.
I construct my memories with my present. I am lost, abandoned in the present. I try in vain to rejoin the past: I cannot escape. - Sartre
Any religion is a bunch of lies.
do you know anything about baha'i? then shut up.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
Quoting is your friend.
Dennis: Thanks for "news-ing" this, my friend. I'm flattered, honored, and stunned .
anephic: Thanks for the advice. However, Ms. Fischer (who will one day be, briefly, Mrs. Will Tupper) and I will be married in a future where there are no stairs. Just levitation ports. Kind of like "Star Trek," only they'll really work .
YOU are my friend.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
Foiled again.
i know. 
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
Ah, so quick to torment an opinion here.
so quick to not be able to defend yourself? Try not saying something silly, and then just going, "IT'S MY OPINION CAN'T YOU JUST DEAL WITH IT, GOSH YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF JERKS QUIT JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT IT'S JUST MY OPINION."
but seriously, if you knew any of us, you'd know I wasn't religious, but I am open to Baha'i because it is a non-forceful religion that teaches about drastically different ways of faith than just your standard orthodox religion. try opening your mind.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
I love how a forum that started with Rainn Wilson and James Gunn turns into a petty religious debate. Stick to the original subject, it was far more interesting.
It's so lovely when the worlds collide, and the ship spins out of control.
There really hasn't been much debate in this thread at all. Plus, we're 20 posts in, that's what happens, man...
I realize how this works man, just disapointed in where this discussion ended up. Consider this my outro.
It's so lovely when the worlds collide, and the ship spins out of control.
#16thruleoffightclub:
suck my @#%$
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
butthurtnoobsayswhat?
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
I have to say, I agree with the noob.
yeah, sorry. threadhijacked
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
17th Rule of Fight Club: Keep all discussions of religion, whether positive or negative, outside of Fight Club. They tried to merge these in Israel in the 60s, and look what happened...
rule 18 of fight club:
absolutely no Lady Gaga played during fights. We listen to Just Dance while we mop the floor after we're done, though.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
I should've posted my Baha'i joke when I had the chance.
do it now, this thread isn't going to amount to anything anyway.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
"I went out with a girl who used to be Baha'i. She said it was just a college phase." 
well, meh. It's probably true. But I'm not Baha'i! I just like the idea of it.
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?
19th rule of Fight Club - The third tuesday of every month is silly hat night. Only those who are wear a silly hats will be permitted to fight. Snapping of chin elastics is strictly prohibited.
20th rule of Fight Club: Always eat the end pieces from the loaf of bread.
21st rule of Fight Club-Loser must attend a Roman Catholic Church sermon, bring a date that's Baha'i and both must wear Tom Cruise T-shirts (Top Gun shirt may be substituted but ONLY if it is not a reproduction)
Stinging, as the thorn, is the splinter. From a seedling born...works itself under my skin.
"You are an insolent cuntface. If that happened to you, the UK would refuse to foot the bill on account of your fuckheadery."-tom9d
"Does fuckheadery count as a pre-existing condition?"-Fano
"Hunger is the best mustard"-Xec8
"i wanna see what a slutty shark looks like. i bet it loses a lot more teeth.-"BloodSugar1308
HAHAHAHAAA!
Any religion is a bunch of lies.
Based on just looking up Baha'i on Wikipedia, it seems Baha'i is more of a philosophy than a traditional religion.
"The independent search after truth, unfettered by superstition or tradition; the oneness of the entire human race, the pivotal principle and fundamental doctrine of the Faith; the basic unity of all religions; the condemnation of all forms of prejudice, whether religious, racial, class or national; the harmony which must exist between religion and science; the equality of men and women, the two wings on which the bird of humankind is able to soar; the introduction of compulsory education; the adoption of a universal auxiliary language; the abolition of the extremes of wealth and poverty; the institution of a world tribunal for the adjudication of disputes between nations; the exaltation of work, performed in the spirit of service, to the rank of worship; the glorification of justice as the ruling principle in human society, and of religion as a bulwark for the protection of all peoples and nations; and the establishment of a permanent and universal peace as the supreme goal of all mankind—these stand out as the essential elements [which Bahá'u'lláh proclaimed]."
It doesn't proclaim anything to be absolutely true, but rather seeks to promote unity of mankind through a form of spirituality. There is so much that we do not know about the universe and in all likelihood will never know in our lifetime. As long as a religion does not disregard scientific knowledge (which Baha'i doesn't) and does not promote doctrine that might breed disconnection or hate (which Baha'i also doesn't), then it's alright in my book.
Though I'd like to reiterate that this analysis is based off reading one paragraph on Wikipedia so I could be completely wrong.
The Gooch Wrote:
21st rule of Fight Club-Loser must attend a Roman Catholic Church sermon, bring a date that's Baha'i and both must wear Tom Cruise T-shirts (Top Gun shirt may be substituted but ONLY if it is not a reproduction)
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hahahahhahahhaah good shit
Any religion is a bunch of lies.
Based on just looking up Baha'i on Wikipedia, it seems Baha'i is more of a philosophy than a traditional religion.
"The independent search after truth, unfettered by superstition or tradition; the oneness of the entire human race, the pivotal principle and fundamental doctrine of the Faith; the basic unity of all religions; the condemnation of all forms of prejudice, whether religious, racial, class or national; the harmony which must exist between religion and science; the equality of men and women, the two wings on which the bird of humankind is able to soar; the introduction of compulsory education; the adoption of a universal auxiliary language; the abolition of the extremes of wealth and poverty; the institution of a world tribunal for the adjudication of disputes between nations; the exaltation of work, performed in the spirit of service, to the rank of worship; the glorification of justice as the ruling principle in human society, and of religion as a bulwark for the protection of all peoples and nations; and the establishment of a permanent and universal peace as the supreme goal of all mankind—these stand out as the essential elements [which Bahá'u'lláh proclaimed]."
It doesn't proclaim anything to be absolutely true, but rather seeks to promote unity of mankind through a form of spirituality. There is so much that we do not know about the universe and in all likelihood will never know in our lifetime. As long as a religion does not disregard scientific knowledge (which Baha'i doesn't) and does not promote doctrine that might breed disconnection or hate (which Baha'i also doesn't), then it's alright in my book.
Though I'd like to reiterate that this analysis is based off reading one paragraph on Wikipedia so I could be completely wrong.
I have a Baha'i friend. It has tenants and all that jazz just like any other religion. He occasionally does long fasts. The religion is just a silly fuzzy wuzzy "feel good" group.
I registered just to say that. There's a Chuck Palahniuk forum? That's pretty neat.
I've met Rainn Wilson in person. he would detest fight club. He's Baha'i
Brentinlouis Wrote: What was that rule about being intentionally annoying?