"Phantom Pain": R-rated Fight Club fanfiction
Hey all! I'm new, and I come bearing Fight Club fanfiction.
Title: Phantom Pain
Rating: R
WARNING: This story contains fairly explicit rape, but I don't consider it slash fiction. Rape is just another form of violence at Tyler's disposal.
Summary: Tyler shows Jack exactly how little he cares about him.
Excerpt: Tyler’s hovering over you like some perverse kind of guardian angel, and when you look up and smile, Tyler spits red on the concrete floor and tells you, go home.
Maybe Tyler’s life is all just a big game, only he’s using Battleship pieces on everyone else’s Monopoly board. While everyone else is rolling the dice and hoping they’ll land on free parking, Tyler’s bombing Boardwalk.
'Tis good. Have some cake, dearie!!
Well, not so much the cake but the sentiment.
Finish this statement: The cake is a _____.
Fanopoly, blah de blah blah rape rrrap rwar eh ultra violence gah ipso facto wunderkind shot point fill in the blank (Connecticut the dots) kkkill blah blur blur blah, and so the beat goes on...the cake or the spoon.
pop Quix
What color is the sidebar margin?
A)Grey
B)Gray
C)Slate
D)Narwhal
E)Cave
F)lt. Omni
G)Black Mesa
E)You can't say that on the cult
G)All of the above, omit G
Sima, you tipsy?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Sleep deprived. And distracting myself from giving 2 different people a piece of my mind.
No really. From the description- not reading that.
I just found out what gangam style was the other day (people were doing it on the news and some guy--I guess he invented it--did it at the Bills game last Sunday). I don't get the fascination.
Amber, it was after then 10th edit around 2am, probably that Tuffy suspected I maybe tipsy.
You know all about my 'editing problem'. I'm going through a 12 step program.
Sadly enough, just sleepy and having fun with new kid. Where the heck is Gangamstyle? I wanna play!!!
Is that Samantha!!?
It takes more than one post to qualify for noobhood here, Sima. This guy posted his thingy for us to ooh-ah at and will most likely never be back.
We can't waste our valuable resources on one-post people.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I guess this place is like Harry Potter. You can tell right away who you want to hang around with and who you don't.
Anyway, the cake is definitely a narwhal. It sits there, delicious, tantalizing you... but you can't eat it because it's got this huge horn.
You have to watch the video to understand why Gangnam Style (I typo'd my own name... classy) is so hilarious! I didn't get it at first either, but then I watched the video and was amazed. It is truly a thing of greatness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
Ah ha.
Wasted a good quiz.
Thanks Tuffy.
In that case, I'm outtie.
uhp wait, hold on! We've got a pulse!! 
This is why we can't have nice things.
Nice effort. incorrect: Narwhal is a color and/or indicator of hipster affiliation. Another accepted answer for Narwhal would be, favorite spirit animal totem.
Clue#2
Clue#3
http://www.thecakeisalie.com/
If your answer was G. You may have some cake.
If you answered with another option, instructions follow.
Partygoer. You made the correct party escort submission
position decision, and chose to escape.
Anyway, the cake is definitely a narwhal. It sits there, delicious, tantalizing you... but you can't eat it because it's got this huge horn.
You have to watch the video to understand why Gangnam Style (I typo'd my own name... classy) is so hilarious! I didn't get it at first either, but then I watched the video and was amazed. It is truly a thing of greatness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
UNlike Harry Potter.
No clicks.
This is actually a homogeneous group in character, alternately a respectfully healthy cross section of international Culties. The threads are not elitist. They are different facets of personalities and general conversation.
Perhaps your cake is narwhal and hypothetically delicious. But, I'm puzzled as to why you would not propose the horn to be eaten first, it being the most tantalizing part?
Your PSY is delightful. Do you suppose he was conceived gangnam style?
Also, the Cult is based on an experimental psychosexualmysticism religion, and Mr. Palahniuk requires we pledge all our worldly belongings to him to help him continue enlightenment in this dimension through his writings, and also help him maintain first class air and hotel accommodations. Are you in?
What the hell is going on in here?
Dunno, I'm not clicking any links.
You know all about my 'editing problem'. I'm going through a 12 step program.
Sadly enough, just sleepy and having fun with new kid. Where the heck is Gangamstyle? I wanna play!!!
My first two posts were both directed to the original topic post, not to you or Tuff or the Narwhal.
Now see, you've made me explain my shocked face. And degraded, nay, destroyed the sanctity of said shocked face by such.
*shakes fist at Sema*
*fist shaking*
*grrr*
Your own posts were clever enough.
My suggestion for help with your editing problem is to let a post sit for a minute if you are halfway through and you just don't feel it is quite clever enough or does not yet express just exactly the subtlety of sentiment you wish to convey.
Then, when you post it, it looks like you came up with all that off of the top of your head no 'ohh ohh I should have also said...' editing needed.
A pie!
I'm so out of touch, all this lingo is lost on me.
You know all about my 'editing problem'. I'm going through a 12 step program.
Sadly enough, just sleepy and having fun with new kid. Where the heck is Gangamstyle? I wanna play!!!
My first two posts were both directed to the original topic post, not to you or Tuff or the Narwhal.
Now see, you've made me explain my shocked face. And degraded, nay, destroyed the sanctity of said shocked face by such.
*shakes fist at Sema*
*fist shaking*
*grrr*
Vigilante^
Please...don't hit me (again).
I'm a bleeder, for Christ's sake!!
Bet pepper carries pepper spray everywhere.
My new mantra: preview comment, preview comment, (slaps own wrist when reaching for post comment) preview comment...
*just edited this.
Pepper carry's a machete everywhere.
Begun the edit wars have.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Because you're practically a dad.
By the way - yay!
Yeah, from now on you will only be able to tell jokes that aren't funny to anyone but you. It's weird. No one knows why it happens. But it is inevitable.
Also you will start wearing hats that you would never have worn before.
This is why we can't have nice things.
At least your mustache will grow in thicker. There's always that.
How did I miss this insane thread?
You abandoned us to frolic in paradise for a month.
You know we make due s best we can but it hard when you just disappear for half a year.
I would have told you bout the thread but I am still bitter that you went out for milk and never came home again.
I'm here aren't I?!? Aren't I!?!
I keep misreading this as Phantom Palin. Now that's a story I would read!
Sounds like a Scooby-Do villain.
Well, I'l never sleep again.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Tyler slipped his imaginary wang into Jacks bum.
Wait can you rape yourself?
I could really go for a breakfast sandwich.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I like the title but that's as far as I'm going to read. Because there's already enough Pitt/Norton slash in the world. Fifty Shades Of Tyler, that sorta thing. Granted, that's what people pay money for these days. Another reason to blow it all up.
This is why we can't have nice things.