i take it you're also a fan of semi-crystallized postnasal discharge? we can probably arrange a meeting for that.

what would life be without it?

Given the range and unpredictability of human behavior, it is quite possible that Chuck's secret passion is to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate meretricious, malignant soi-disant do-gooders. For shame! Unfortunately, Chuck's dotty opinions neglect to take one important factor into consideration: human nature. Over the years, I've enjoyed a number of genuinely pleasurable (and pleasurably genuine) conversations with a variety of people who understand that Chuck works like gravity by night and by day, gaining a little today and a little tomorrow and advancing his noiseless step like a thief until he manages to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. In one such conversation, someone pointed out to me that if we contradict Chuck, we are labelled directionless thugs. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. When I state that he is perfectly willing to show his embarrassingly poor reasoning and warped ethics in print, I'm merely trying to make him answer for his wrongdoings. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of morally questionable televangelists and others in Chuck's amen corner are about to sell us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of commercialism. I have no reason to doubt that story because I have observed that those who disagree with me on the next point tend to be unsophisticated and those who recognize the validity of the point to be more educated. The point is that Chuck has remarked that the world can be happy only when his lynch mob is given full rein. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, Chuck is doing everything in his power to make me go into hiding. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance.

What a cunning coup on the part of Chuck's toadies, who set out to mobilize support for the special interests that dominate state and private activity and got as far as they did without anyone raising an eyebrow. I know the following is an incredibly cheap shot, but I recently heard Chuck tell a bunch of people that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. We must expose his malversation if we are ever to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must honestly pursue because Chuck seizes every opportunity to reinforce the impression that clueless, slaphappy good-for-nothings -- as opposed to Chuck's attendants -- are striving to make us dependent on the most brutal gasbags I've ever seen for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval. I cannot believe this colossal clownishness. Any sane person knows that his hideous, destructive orations have caused snappish hypochondriacs to descend upon us like a swarm of locusts, making my blood curdle.

In order to solve the big problems with Chuck we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause. I have to laugh when he says that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Where in the world did he get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever but he insists that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates.

If I am correct that anyone who believes that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of intransigent stereotypes is kidding himself, then the virus of Marxism took control of our country's political life long ago. Now, thanks to Chuck's double standards, that virus will continue to spread until no one can recall that there is no place in this country where we are safe from Chuck's disciples, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. Chuck is as high-handed as the sky is blue. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Please, please, please help me put an end to impertinent, sleazy fanaticism. Without your help, Chuck will indeed subvert existing lines of power and information. Given his record of shady dealings, we can say that we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that there should be publicly financed centers of Stalinism. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that Chuck once tried to convince a bunch of us that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. Fortunately, calmer heads prevailed and a number of people informed the rest of the gang that it is hardly surprising that Chuck wants to brainwash the masses into submission. After all, this is the same self-aggrandizing usurer whose cantankerous prattle informed us that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions.

Chuck's traducements manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: transform fear and its inculcation into the preeminent force ruling human existence. Phase two: egg on negative externalities in the form of evasion, collusion, and corruption.

Chuck's behavior might be different if he were told that his prevarications are out of step with democratic practices of equity and fair play. Of course, as far as Chuck's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that emotionalism is an inherently oppressive ideology. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but he ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Chuck seeks scapegoats for his own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target he can find, that is, pesky paper-pushers. I need your help if I'm ever to shout back at his propaganda. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, Chuck's ability to reason from premise to conclusion is nearly non-existent. We can therefore extrapolate that Chuck has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Chuck's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue.

We should not concern ourselves with Chuck's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Chuck's a financial predator who preys on the elderly, the gullible, and the vulnerable. He seeks their assets to support his own lavish lifestyle. Keep that in mind while I state the following: Chuck's deputies avouch that tribalism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions. This is precisely the non-equation that Chuck is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that a great many of us don't want him to perpetrate acts of the most insincere character. But we feel a prodigious societal pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his depraved teachings.

If it weren't for snotty geeks, Chuck would have no friends. He should not steal the fruits of other people's labor. Not now, not ever.

Take, as an example, the way that Chuck wants to doctor evidence and classification systems and make virulent generalizations to support stuck-up, preconceived views. Well, today, we might have let him concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of Mr. Chuck Palahniuk's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because he needs to calm down and realize that

I am utterly shocked and appalled that he could voice the kinds of gross lies and historical misrepresentations that he so often does.

your polished command of the language and posting your rather lengthy letter as a reply to my little sentence seems to have the inherent qualities of a posting mistake. perhaps you would like to re-post as a new thread?
or just maybe you are insinuating that i (and the other fan's of palahniuk's writing) are snotty geeks, as well as aged, gullible, and exquisitely vulnerable persons? that we are brainwashed into appreciating literature?

may i dare to remind you that palahniuk writes under the broad category of fiction. his freedom of speech -- a rather beautiful thing, rare in this world of goodly tyrants -- is just as precious as yours, and the fact that you are appalled at his voicing of whatever views he may hold... why, it looks as though you are the one trying to destroy freedom.

your energy might be better put to use defending rights, not abolishing them. just a thought.

you may consider me a brainwashed toady pissing on the morals of the world. your words will only incite me to prove you wrong.

Exactly. WHY DO YOU HATE FREEDOM?

im with federov!
down with the freedoms!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE AMARRRCA YOU CAN GIIIIEEEEEEEET OUT!!!!!

wouldn't driving a car to one of his readings be easier than, say, getting cancer?

http://www.pakin.org/complaint

it defies the sentiment- besides, secretly, i want cancer

If you end up getting cancer, would you mind making a thread about it?

especially if it's the brainular variety.

Just smoke a cigarette. That will lead to another, another, another, and so on.