New Palahniuk Short Story, "Cannibal", May 2013 Playboy, On Shelves Now!!!!!!
I haven't seen this mentioned anywhere else.
I noticed in the "Next Month" section at the back of the April 2013 Playboy, which I received in the mail yesterday.
Full blurb:
Cannibal - He discovered he had a special oral talent, but it may be time for the ladies to wipe the wet grin off his piehole. It's an extraordinarily bizarre piece of fiction from our master of maniacal mayhem Chuck Palahniuk.
I can't wait, two of my very favorite favorite things, Chuck and oral sex! Its going to be like that episode of Seinfeld when George gets to eat a pastrami on rye while he's boning his girlfriend (for me at least).
Everyone buys it for the articles.
Sure.
newgirl, it is a premier literary magazine. great articles and comics and jokes. and a great short story every month. the truth is, i only get it when an author i love publishes. like chuck, or denis johnson. because i'm frugal. i definitely dont get it for the airbrushed nips and finding out what 25 year old sally's favorite ice cream and turns ons are lol there is definitely more to the publication than that.
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play hard, like it's work to be done.
Kabol! What up homie?
I buy Playboy for the jokes.
I have a computer and an internet connection, believe me, I subscribe to Playboy for the articles. There was an interesting article by Irvine Welsh this month and an old interview with Hunter S. Thompson last month. If you buy more than two copies a year at the news stand, it's cheaper to just subscribe anyway. Even my wife reads it every month.
Spotted an Irvin Welsh at the rich lady's 2nd hand shop, a few days ago. Almost bought it, but went with a Hurley hat and shirt instead.
They had Vivian Westwood, Chanel and other stuff that I didn't have time to moon over.
Why do they keep putting those stupid pics around those glorious articles?
I buy Playboy for the jokes.
hey, pete !
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play hard, like it's work to be done.
come to think of it, jen does read it as well on the one or two occasions a year i do get it. i would subscribe, but we have enough magazines floating around the house left unread, the spoils of having nieces and nephews in school toting the need for magazine subscriptions. not one of their lists have ever offered playboy. meh.
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play hard, like it's work to be done.
The issue arrived today! Really short story, but quite enjoyable. Chock full of double entendre. I get the feeling Chuck has been keeping of list of sexual euphemisms and decided to see how many of them he could fit into a single short story.
--POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT--
I do have a question for Chuck though; what is the solid material that Cannibal finds in his mouth after the girl fire hoses him? I was getting freaked out that it was going to be the old "jolly rancher" bit, and was quite relieved and confused when it wasn't explained any further.
--Sorry about that--
Short, entertaining and all about oral sex. Worth picking up a copy of the May issue of Playboy if you don't already have a subscription.
Keep it up Chuck, love you man.
If I'm not mistaken, she gushed blood onto his face. She was on her period, which is why she needed to use a pussy plug afterwards, as he put it.
I imagine the bit was a piece of her uterine wall, sloughed off flesh and other matter. That apparently tastes like pickle juice. heh
That's why they call him cannibal, right? I imagine he had a mouth full of blood and was still willing to drink it down. Of course, he thought she was squirting. Yuck. Great story!
Getting it...
That's why her boyfriend won't fuck her. Man, I totally missed that whole angle. In my defense, I was reading it and trying to watch my kid at the same time. Yeah, father of the year, I know. I was excited when the mailman showed up, what can I say.
I need to read it again.
...OK...
She was pregnant and he causes a miscarriage, that's the "jelly-bean". THAT'S why they call him "Cannibal".
Euw.
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Well isn't my face red. (get it?)
Ah, ok. That makes perfect sense. Man, how did I miss that? Reading again now. Thanks for the clarification.
I wonder if Chuck came in here and did a face palm? 
Doubt it.
I have not read this, but what I am gathering is that in the story a girl is being eaten out whilst having a miscarriage and the person doing the eating actually eats it?
Pretty sure a miscarriage hurts so badly that the whole idea would never happen.
Like I said I have not read it, but, it is another example of Chuck not really knowing much about female anatomy situations.*** There's Something you Should Know!*** yeah yeah, but making research isn't that difficult, really.
I remember how put off I was when I was reading Survivor and the Big Fat Fucking Twist was that the kids all had to watch childbirth and it scared them so bad they would kill themselves at an instant order rather than ever have sex ever. I witnessed two home births as a kid and I love sex. Just, you know.
Depends on how far along she is.
Ok, I just read it again. Masterfully written. Only Chuck makes me want to get a pen and underline certain passages. I never do that reading anyone else.
If I'm not mistaken, Cannibal has become an 'abortion clinic' of sorts. That's why they need to kill him in the end. So not only was Marcia pregnant, the other girls became pregnant, too. (but not by him. He's a virgin, except for his mouth.)
He thinks he's the shit, that Marcia's bragging about his skills, but they're using him to get rid of their stupid mistakes. That's why they need to kill him in the end so they can play games again.
I'm pretty sure this time. heh
I have no idea how I missed the bun in the oven reference the first time. Great story. Pepper, you should read it. It's great. Read it a couple times. Just a suggestion.
Never thought I would say this, but "Cannibal" might be the strangest and sickest thing CP has ever written.
Different format too: Third person with no adverbs.
Traditionally he uses 1st person sans adverbs. But "Phoenix" was 3rd person with adverbs.
Besides confusing me with slang terms for genitalia, the part I don't understand the most is why the HS girls feel the need to kill Cannibal at the end?
Or the rant in the third to last graph?
This is the completely new CP. Strange indeed.
Different format too: Third person with no adverbs.
Traditionally he uses 1st person sans adverbs. But "Phoenix" was 3rd person with adverbs.
Besides confusing me with slang terms for genitalia, the part I don't understand the most is why the HS girls feel the need to kill Cannibal at the end?
Or the rant in the third to last graph?
This is the completely new CP. Strange indeed.
After "Knock-Knock" and "Romance", I've been debating on whether-or-not to buy this. Your review has me interested.
I had a friend of mine give me this article and I read it myself... definitely didn't realize what it was all about.
Until I read this forum.
Now, I'm pretty sure I'm scarred for life. I reread it, and I see what's going on now. Horrible, horrible images in my mind.
Different format too: Third person with no adverbs.
Traditionally he uses 1st person sans adverbs. But "Phoenix" was 3rd person with adverbs.
Besides confusing me with slang terms for genitalia, the part I don't understand the most is why the HS girls feel the need to kill Cannibal at the end?
Or the rant in the third to last graph?
This is the completely new CP. Strange indeed.
After "Knock-Knock" and "Romance", I've been debating on whether-or-not to buy this. Your review has me interested.
I drank the kool-aid: Damn-it
I may have to buy that playboy just for the story!