Chuck's Treats: 2006-2007 Fanmail Sandbox

Ok! I got mine today. It's soo great. It has a letter in it from chuck, duh. He answers your questions, and he's cool about it. There was a necklace that he made for me! It's got all these beads on it that spell my name and says from Chucky P. There was my power animal, a Racoon, and some chocolates for my mom. Remember my whole Allan MacDonell thing? Well, I wrote him about that, and he said, "This is how small the world is....Allan MacDonell emailed me and described meeting you and your family, and how awful he felt, talking about Hustler in front of your mom. That's so funny." Isn't that great? He sent the chocolates to my mom for being such a good sport. Also, there were Forgettmenot seeds, Money tree seeds, Silly Putty, two boxes of birthday candles, some glow in the dark stars and planets that go on your ceiling, a big tattoo thing that looks japanese, two Halloween Bouncy balls, Pirate crayons, a prirate coloring book, a magnetic traveling checkers game, a plastic cut off finger, and......the best thing......Two CDs that he made! It's his voice, and he's reading stories! Some that he's not alowed to read on tour anymore. some postcards that are in Fugitives and Refgees, Guts, a fight club thing, and the brownie story. includes many more. He says these CDs arn't ever going to be for sale, he made them for people who wrote to him. oh ya, and he sent junior mints. I ate them, and I'm going to be a totall fan, and keep the box. he also sent pop rocks. blue ones. did you see the discription of Rant on Amazon? Chuck told me to look for Clown Girl in the spring. On Amazon, it looks really good. I can't wait!

My package contained:

1. A letter in it from Chuck. He answered some of my questions about themes in his books - the way a lot of his characters sort of tear everything down and start again and said that that was his way of showing how adult children start to do their own thing and create their own authentic selves instead of blindly following someone else's agenda. He also said Julianne Moore's agent was looking at a script for Diary...
2. A necklace that he made himself with bloodstones and coral with my name spelt out.
3. My power animal which is a panda
4. Some cinnamon Altoids
5. A crystal
6. Some watermelon Pop Rocks
7. Some flower seeds
8. Silly Putty
9. A box of birthday candles
10. Glow in the dark shapes
11. A jigsaw
12. A bunch of fake tattoos
13. Two audio CDs of his tours
14. One of the best things (for me) - a fold out comb that's made to look like a flick knife!
15. A marble
16. A ball

I think that was the lot. The necklace is actually really beautiful and I've worn it a few times. It was brilliant getting this box in the post and it means a lot as a fan. I can't wait for his next book...

I didn't send my letter, because I have no balls. But it's good to hear about the stuff he sent you guys. I'm happy for you, in a sad lonely corellion kind of way.

[QUOTE=LeHaHi;891182]Ok! I got mine today. It's soo great. It has a letter in it from chuck, duh. He answers your questions, and he's cool about it. There was a necklace that he made for me! It's got all these beads on it that spell my name and says from Chucky P. There was my power animal, a Racoon, and some chocolates for my mom. Remember my whole Allan MacDonell thing? Well, I wrote him about that, and he said, "This is how small the world is....Allan MacDonell emailed me and described meeting you and your family, and how awful he felt, talking about Hustler in front of your mom. That's so funny." Isn't that great? He sent the chocolates to my mom for being such a good sport. Also, there were Forgettmenot seeds, Money tree seeds, Silly Putty, two boxes of birthday candles, some glow in the dark stars and planets that go on your ceiling, a big tattoo thing that looks japanese, two Halloween Bouncy balls, Pirate crayons, a prirate coloring book, a magnetic traveling checkers game, a plastic cut off finger, and......the best thing......Two CDs that he made! It's his voice, and he's reading stories! Some that he's not alowed to read on tour anymore. some postcards that are in Fugitives and Refgees, Guts, a fight club thing, and the brownie story. includes many more. He says these CDs arn't ever going to be for sale, he made them for people who wrote to him. oh ya, and he sent junior mints. I ate them, and I'm going to be a totall fan, and keep the box. he also sent pop rocks. blue ones. did you see the discription of Rant on Amazon? Chuck told me to look for Clown Girl in the spring. On Amazon, it looks really good. I can't wait![/QUOTE]

I can't believe what lengths he goes to i order to answer the letters. That's really fucking awesome. It's so funny too because most writers have the reputation of being total dicks in real life.

Yeah, Chuck rocks. I didn't write him this time because I already got a package this year. I waited to be last in line for the book signing in NYC so I could chat and ask him some questions, but he was exhausted and the book store staff was kicking everyone out, so the plan backfired. Still, he gave me a self-addressed envelope and told me to write him with the questions I had. I did, and got a package back about three or four weeks later. Unreal. He was still on tour! I have no idea how the letter got to him, or how he managed to put together the reply package.

I kinda wish I'd written but it felt greedy to do so especially so soon after that surprise reply. He's sending CDs now? That's so freaking cool. I'm guessing it's the "Mr. Elegant" story? I can only imagine he'd been planning to do that from the moment they blocked him from telling it at other readings. It's a fun format. I gave him a CD at the NYC reading, although he probably had to toss it to avoid conflicts or whatever. I figured, what the fuck, it was worth a shot.

Is the audio from one of the readings, or did he record it separately?

Hi everyone,

Congrats on your packages! I can still remember the ecstacy of early 2005 when I got mine, and reliving it during the seminar last year when I acquiesced to Chuck's request to recount the whole tale. Remember the details of the circumstances, because he will quiz you on it later

So when did you guys write? I wrote early this time. I would really like some of those CDs. Maybe we could put up a file sharing section on this website if it isn't there already haha Now that's Cacaphony for ya, or Mayhem,, or whatever.

I hope he gets around to us repeat offenders at some point (sigh).

KFC

I got that necklace. A power moose. Silly puddy. A comb. Some balls. And candy/ chocolate. The two CDs were my favorite.

I don't know about sharing the CD's....He says in the letter that he made them purely for people who wrote to him, and they're never going to be for sale. I suppose if everyone promised not to reproduce them and sell them, but I don't know. I would feel weird doing it. Maybe someone else can do it. I don't feel comfortable. There is no Mr. Elegant story on there, but there is a new one called "Cold Calling." It's really great, it's about telemarketers.

[QUOTE=LeHaHi;891270]I don't know about sharing the CD's....He says in the letter that he made them purely for people who wrote to him, and they're never going to be for sale. I suppose if everyone promised not to reproduce them and sell them, but I don't know. I would feel weird doing it. Maybe someone else can do it. I don't feel comfortable. There is no Mr. Elegant story on there, but there is a new one called "Cold Calling." It's really great, it's about telemarketers.[/QUOTE]

I agree. that would be dirtyanda rip off to chuck who put his time and effort into recording those CDs for his fans who took their time to write him.

Yeah I guess that's easy to say after you've got your boxes.

Sorry, that's just the way I feel. I would feel like one of those jerks who get autographs from peole just to sell them on eBay.

Wow, I never realized it was that much. Not that it's too much, it's just really nice, and random. Random bursts of kindness are always nice. I sent my letter kind of late (Oct. 20), so I'll have to wait a while, I guess.

[QUOTE=jase;891263]I'm guessing it's the "Mr. Elegant" story? I can only imagine he'd been planning to do that from the moment they blocked him from telling it at other readings.[/QUOTE]

Looks like I missed this while I was away, when/how was Mr.Elegant blocked? Who's choice was this? Is there a link to a thread on the subject (couldn't find one myself).. thanks.

pretty much the same stuff.......most important is my power dachsund, my necklace....its got a lot of greenish stones. he answered my LAME ass question regarding the narrator in haunted, but failed to answer my question about who he plans to tour with soon. (at the last reading he told me he would definately be doing more combined tours, like he did w/ welsh and coupland...he couldn't give details then so i asked for them now, but i probably wasn't clear in what i was asking)

i got one of those fold out combs too......i always wanted one when i was very young and my parents REFUSED to get me one.

the cd's are probably one of the best gifts i have ever received.

someone mentioned the "brownie story", i cna't think of what story you are referring to...

Ha, I'm kind of tickled to see Watermelon Pop Rocks on somebody's list. I gave Chuck some Watermelon Pops when I saw him in Louisville over the summer. So maybe I inspired that particular inclusion in the gift boxes. Or hell, maybe he sent somebody the very same pops I gave him, after smuggling it through too many airports.

[QUOTE=JKuhlmann;891451]

someone mentioned the "brownie story", i cna't think of what story you are referring to...[/QUOTE]

He talks about it on the Introduction. It's not a formal story, it's just telling what one story was about. The little girls, the heating pad, the mother, you'll see.

I've heard Chuck tell the brownie story at two different readings. In a public setting, it socks the guts out of people every time. and it does so without invoking anything physically harrowing or torturous, which is impressive. It operates on purely an emotional level.

Ya, it's really good.

I don't think the CD's should be put up anywhere for anyone, though I'm sure some prick will do it. As LeHaHi said, it's in the same vein as selling autographed books on eBay, though not nearly as bad.

[QUOTE=corellion;891245]I didn't send my letter, because I have no balls. But it's good to hear about the stuff he sent you guys. I'm happy for you, in a sad lonely corellion kind of way.[/QUOTE]
Really? Surprised at that, thought you might write the great mutant, all covered in fundip.

Chuck should of mentioned this in the letter, but he's getting a bit daft i guess. When copied or bootlegged the CDs send out cerebral neurotransmitters that work their way into your DNA. If you have children, your son is born with a hole in his forehead that spits acidic hot chocolate every time he gets excited, and your daughter grows a penis & testicles under her chin, and you all know what happens when that gets fueled. If you don't have children, no worries, your face falls off and fingers bloat to the size of constipated hookworms.

Leha....that's cool about MacDonell.

Underscore, I don't think there's a specific discussion about that, just random chatter. I know they stopped him from reading at B&N because children might overhear, though I kinda thought that was for Guts.

[QUOTE=LeHaHi;891459]He talks about it on the Introduction. It's not a formal story, it's just telling what one story was about. The little girls, the heating pad, the mother, you'll see.[/QUOTE]

right, the intro....i listened to them all already......wasn't that the "heating pad story"? as i'm writing this i'm realizing that you mean brownie, like girl scout....i forgot about that part.

question answered thank you much.

I myself am still waiting for a reply from Chuck, I gave him a letter a few years ago when he was on tour but he never wrote me back. when I write people like that I'm always freaked out that I'm going to come off as an asshole or a complete nerd (in a bad way) sooo I hope that didnt happen. I'm really looking forward to hearing back from him. He is someone that obviously appreciates his fans and I think it's fantastic.

Hi All.
First time poster. I got a package from Chuck this past Saturday (Nov 4th). I took pictures and catalog everything on my blog (shameless plug sorry).

For images and all that feel free to stop on over:
[url]http://toddiet123.blogspot.com/2006/11/chuck-palahniuk-responds-to-your.html[/url]

Looking forward to poking arond this site more.

Regards

[QUOTE=Dr.Jekyll&Mr.Hyde;891535]Really? Surprised at that, thought you might write the great mutant, all covered in fundip.[/QUOTE]

Heheh. Me too man.

But woah, Chuck kicks so much ass. I think I'm comfortable with not sending my letter. I'd have most definately sounded like a prick anyway. But it's great to hear everyone got a nice reply for their questions.

that's probably the one thing i don't like about Chuck
he's to nice
if he got someone being a jerkoff in their letter he outta reply back with his giftbox thing and in his letter rip into em for being a jerk
thats the kind of post i'd like to see someone say they got back

Well my package came today!

I got a most wonderful letter, the necklace (amazing!), a power Cardinal, the two cds, a box of whitmans sampler, water melon pop rocks, stick on scars, the severed finger, a bunch of glow in the dark stars and moons, a pack of bday candels, a crystal, two packets of flowers (one for forget me nots and one for the money plant), two bouncy balls, some silly putty, and assorted candies!
It was just like Christmas here today!
Amazing.

I procrastinated and didn't send mine out until the 31st, but now I'm soo excited to get stuff back.

Damn! These boxes get better each time! (well... I've only gotten this on eand the last one, but still...) CHECK THIS OUT!

1. PIRATE CRAYONS! Not regular crayons, no. PIRATE CRAYONS!
2. A PIRATE coloring book to go with my PIRATE CRAYONS! This is why Chuck is my favorite Auth-ARRRR.
3. A diary with a lock.
4. A Happy Harmonica (It really says Happy... let's see how people feel after my solo)
5. Junior mints
6. Whitman's chocolates
7. Forget me not seeds
8. Money plant seeds
9. The infamous switchblade comb. Now, if I can get my hands on a classic Star Wars AT-AT, I will have owned the two toys I dreamed of most as a kid. Hey... I gre up in Wyoming. We dream small out there.
10. A "The Dog" jigsaw puzzle. With 50 pieces. 50!!
11. A severed finger!
12. Glow in the dark plastic stars!
13. A whole crapload of confetti that I'll be picking out of every cranhny of my desk for months to come!
14, Birthday candles (how did he know?)
15. a fake tattoo
16. The letter
17. 3 bouncy balls
18. Tropical Punch Pop Rocks
19. Silly Putty
20. And the two CDs!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And now, to sleep my flu away!
To paraphrase a famous philosopher (thanks to Chuck):
Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Pirate! :headbang:

Mine came couple of days ago - but I got home yesterday, said hi to everyone and went to my room where the package was.
I was soooooo happy!
Now I'm listening to the cds and reading the most amazing letter over and over again.

I sent mine from IRELAND at the end of October so I shouldnt be getting a reply that soon. But yet Im anxiously awaiting the postman every morning. And no Im not into the postman

I don't know which i'm more excited for:
College acceptance letters or Chuck's Box o' Love.

Either way, i've gotten very close with my mailbox. Very.

[QUOTE=Barca Boy;897870]But yet Im anxiously awaiting the postman every morning. And no Im not into the postman[/QUOTE]

For those of you who already received your packages/reply letter, when did you mail your letter?

just from my constant readings of this thread and around the joint I'd say most of these people that already got a reply sent theirs out around the first few days of Oct
if not even the last few days of Sept( When Chuck shouldn't have replied to them because they obviously can't follow simple directions, but he replied anyways because he's a helluva man)

[QUOTE=Ours;899475]For those of you who already received your packages/reply letter, when did you mail your letter?[/QUOTE]

October 2nd -but it tavelled for about 7 to 9 days

i sent mine on the second from across the country.

I love reading how everyone got their power cardinals or power white bunnies, etc etc...i suppose it's fitting I got a power SKUNK. hahaha.

thankfully, in addition to my pirate crayons, i also got a pirate coloring book

curious, did anyone else get publishing refernces or advice from chuck?

Currently eating pop rocks and contemplating getting a soda to end it all,
Alex

i'm sooo jealous.
i want in next time...
how often does he do this? and all you luckies are lucky.

[QUOTE=factorygirl1976;901563]i'm sooo jealous.
i want in next time...
how often does he do this? and all you luckies are lucky.[/QUOTE]

i know - i just joined the cult, and missed the cutoff by like days - thank god i met him in chicago this summer or i would've been REALLY bummed

this is only the 2nd I'VE heard of, but i'm no expert - maybe once every year or two?

W00P!

I got
a letter
a power panda
a signed stretchable book cover
a harmonica
a packet of pop rocks
a box of chocolates
a pirate-themed colouring book
a coin shaped calculator
a plastic spider
a transfer tattoo thingy
some relighting candles
a severed finger
a yo-yo
a flick-comb
a clowngirl postcard
two live CDs

And he answered my questions Although he asked me one back? How do I answer it?

There was glitter inside it and it's gone everywhere. It looks like someone stabbed a pixie.

well i never post here but i do read some things, and i caught the mailing window at the right time! I got:

the letter
the CDs
plastic spider
plastic glow in the dark moons and stars
plastic Roman coins
crayons
paintbrushes
Pop Rocks (watermelon!)
chocolates
wintergreen flavoured mints (and everything smells of it)
a shitload of tinsel and glitter
colouring book
seeds x 2
a switchblade comb
a nickel harmonica
my power animal, a daschund (unnamed as yet)
tattoo
a bouncy ball in an egg
birthday candles

I think thats all, although what I also like is the fact the customs label is signed "Palahniuk"! Nice one!

Getting back to old topic..I mailed mine within the first day or two of the "opening"

Just remembered; he said in his letter that he and Tom Spanbauer are co-writing a book about minimalism. Chuck says his half is written and it's all in Tom Spanbauer's hands now to finish it and it will hopefully his shelves in the next few years.

not ah! wooh, that's cool!

This year Santa Chuck brought me:

A letter
Signed book jackets
A harmonica
A switchblade comb
A Magic Svengali Deck of Cards
Fake Dog Poop
A Fuzzy tree ornament
A plastic spider
Russell Stover's chocolate
A superball
Flower seeds
A pirate coloring book
Glow-in-the-dark plastic moons
Birthday candles
A temporary tattoo
A postcard for the book "Clown Girl"
Two CD's

[QUOTE=vigorous puppy;891457]Ha, I'm kind of tickled to see Watermelon Pop Rocks on somebody's list. I gave Chuck some Watermelon Pops when I saw him in Louisville over the summer. So maybe I inspired that particular inclusion in the gift boxes. Or hell, maybe he sent somebody the very same pops I gave him, after smuggling it through too many airports.[/QUOTE]

Chuck closes the letter he sent me this year like this: "For now, thanks for the Pop Rocks. As you see, I've added them to the package. They're flat, so they're perfect. As in writing -- if it doesn't look right: Put more in!"

This makes me wonder what might have happened if I had succeeded in picking up a gift bottle of real Kentucky bourbon on my way to that reading. It doesn't mail flat, no siree, but it can sure leave you that way.

My sister got her package, her power animal is a Quail.. hehe. It's cute.

I haven't gotten my reply yet, which has me concerned that he might not have received my letter (I sent it out about a week or so before my sister mailed hers). I know all the treats and such he sends are exciting, but I'm more excited for a reply to my letter, so I hope I'll get it soon!

S*ck my dick.

Did he sign everyone's CD's? When I got my package last week it was one of the biggest rushes of my life. I honestly didn't expect a package and would have been happy with a letter. The package was icing. I wrote on my blog that the glitter that seemed to fill ever corner of the box spits a trail behind itself, marking it's territory wherever I take it. I was shy in my letter and didn't really ask anything, but I did get a personal reply and this was so worth the time I took to send it. Seriously its probably all I'll get for Christmas this year...maybe the best Christmas ever for me.

Peace,

Allison

the glitter really adds to the whole joyous surprise of the gift but really i got enough of a mess here i don't need 5 pounds of glitter all over the place too !
but i know I to will be giggling like a loon if he sends me any

I sent my letter at the end of October, from Ireland, so I guess Im goin to be one of the last to recieve my parcel. Does anyone have any idea when I should be getting it? Im sick of waiting for the post every morning.