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So, like whenever you're caught in a lie, cornered in, red handed, and all eyes are on you expecting to hear an excuse for your shitiness......what is that one moment, THAT ONE MAGICAL MOMENT that you can bring up where all the negative attention and anger just instantly deflects off of you and everyone just ends up looking at you with the same sad look they'd give to a homeless puppy with a broken leg.

So for me it's like this...

Someone - Why the fuck did you do that? Why did you kill my mom!! Why did you blow up my house!!! You could have asked to borrow money! You just don't take shit when you need it, you fucking bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why did you do it?!!

Me - When I was 7 years old, I found my gerbil had hung himself... I loved him and I knew I'd never see him again. I haven't been right since. I just don.... I just don't know why I do these things okay?!?!

Someone - Oh my god..... Minerva.... I'm so sorry. Come here, sweetie. You want some icecream?

Me - No, I'm too upset. I'm gonna go.

Someone - No no! Come back. I'm really sorry. Minerva, please don't be mad at me! I didn't know.

Okay now your turn.