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Your Best Dis

I had lunch with my old friend Stephanie today (Chinese Buffet is mmm... mmm... good!).

She is cool because a loooooong time ago we were arguing about something and it got to that point where one of us was just going to explode. So we couldn't argue anymore and her face was a tomato with a mouth, nose, eyes and glasses, and she just looked at me.

I started to say something, but she cut me off. "Shut up," she said. "You... you have SIDS! You fucking SIDS BABY."

This was, for real, like a year before "Lullaby."

I about spit my moo goo gai pan at her. Because the idea of a 24 year old SIDS baby was, you know. Kinda funny.

Today, just matter of fact and apropos to nothing at all, she was slurping up some wonton soup. She looked up from her spoon and said to me, "You know, you have SARS."

I flung noodles at her (the waiters and waitresses at this restaurant know us - this was normal).

I came back and told her she was a SARS BABY, which wasn't that funny. But it got me thinking - what's your best insult? What's the one thing you say that's your number one zinger?

Preferably something said in happy jest, because I am the gay love magnet. But mean ones can fly too, I suppose.

So... what's your best dis? What's your favorite insult?

Love! (my best compliment :D)