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A Survivor Effect? (Spoilers included)

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Okay. This is my first Chuck novel. I began reading this morning and cut off about 3 hours ago, I guess mid-point; after the Stair-Master revelation scene. I admit upfront to being a tough sell when it comes to minimalism--although the set up of this story seems to necessitate economy in storytelling. Not a lot of time for introspection and yet, this doesn't feel like a stream of consciousness "the plane is going down" narration. It feels pre-planned (plane/plan. Oh, the difference a single vowel makes) for a certain reading experience. Which means it is Chuck very aware of creating the telling of Tender's story as opposed to Tender just telling Tender's story. Chuck as Author and Adam of the Cult. Tender’s Mom and Dad. Who is the God of the novel? This makes always makes a difference—all the difference. This novel reads like a scam.

But. And. Confessing a certain reliable suggestible effect in just about any medium (show me photographs of potatoes and a frog [non-squeezed] and I'll want French Fries); I can't seem to shake this flattening of emotional effect. I feel exhausted. More like I've been hit by a truck and can't get up--don't want to get up. “Guts”? I went in defended against being manipulated, and ended up manipulating myself all the more for it.

I want to finish reading the novel and yet there is this sense--[B][I]and this statement is entirely for illustration[/I][/B]--it would be easier to just kill myself. It is as though now that Tender is the only survivor of the Creedish cult, what's the point in continuing to read? Which Tender is asking himself this moment on the Stair-Master.

In all my history of reading, I cannot recall having this response to an author's work. Did any of the rest of you experience this? Is there any point to keep reading? The end is suggested by the first chapter; the twist is told in the title. I have clicked into but haven't brought myself to read any of the other threads for Survivor. Forgive me is this topic is repetative.

Somebody help me here, if possible. Other than learning the true nature of Fertility's Job (aka Life's Purpose), what is the point to read beyond mid-point? Everyone already knows life purpose: to continue. Other than that. It is, literally, down hill from here. I ask this in all seriousness. I'm experiencing an authentic sort of despair of meaninglessness. I don’t want to do anything. Read, write, talke to anyone. I signed on here to the cult and it was like, so what?

Any thoughts and/or guidance would be much appreciated.