Skip to main content
To get started with Facebook or create a free account. Otherwise login here.

So Bad it's Great: Awful Opening Sentences

At the book store, we receive dozens of Advance Reading Copies every month. I happened to pick up the ARC for a book called [I]Dangerous Curves[/I]. Granted it is a Harliquin Romance, but I now have an offical all time favorite awful opening:

"She was five-foot-six of spandex-wrapped, thigh-high-boots-wearing, bustier-clad woman. And she wasn't happy."

Well, of course she wasn't.

I have another that isn't so much bad as it is stunt writing, doing something on the page just to prove you have the balls to do it. The novel is called [I]The Hundred Brothers[/I] and the first sentence runs two and a half pages long because the author names all one hundred brothers. In a single sentence. I can't remember a thing about the rest of the book, but man, that opening sentence--yowsers.

Anyone else have a personal touchstone of delightfully bad or memorable beginnings?