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Polygamist Warren Jeffs forbid laughter, allowed iPods

Jeffs, who was convicted of being an accomplice to rape, had strict rules when it came to his followers.

He allowed no television, radio or Internet access. Even laughter was forbidden.

"He said, 'No children's books with animals doing people things. Nature is OK. Disney is not,'" said former member Lori Chatwin, who left the group four years ago.

However, he did allow iPods, which people could use to listen to hours of his sermons, and his control extended beyond what people could read, see and wear. He also controlled who married whom and, he claimed, who got to go to heaven.

Women who don't like the rules are told to "keep sweet."

Sure, iPods allow round-the-clock indoctrination for your culties, but I think the money would have been better spent on his escape plan.  I mean, he only got as far as Nevada.  We even let the Sacramento Vampire go:

On August 3 that same year, police officers found Chase’s Ford Ranchero stuck in sand near Pyramid Lake in Nevada. Two rifles lay on the seat, along with a pile of men’s clothing. Blood smears on the inside and a blood-filled white plastic bucket containing a liver made them suspicious. When they spotted Chase through binoculars, he was nude and covered in blood. He saw them and ran, but they caught up with him and took him back to his pick-up. He claimed that the blood was his. It had “seeped out” of him. The liver, it turned out, was from a cow.