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masturbation horror stories

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So I ran across this site.

Oh boy, lets just say these stories remind me of Choke.

"I had a sex with a glass coca-cola bottle. It became stuck and wouldn't come off and I realized it was because of vacuum pressure in that bottle caused it to seal inside my pussy. I had the ambulance come to drill a little hole on the pop bottle for it to let some air release and it came off. Never would fuck the damn bottle again. I love any toys beside something like this!"

from: [url]http://www.masturbationhorror.com/reader.shtml[/url]

So what do you think? Anyone have their own horror stories?