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Lock and Load, a moment in the life of a wannabe pornstar.

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A short story i wrote, a while back. At first meant for a bigger project about a man believing god wished for him to be a pornstar. So here is the opening of it...

Lock and Load

- Hello my name is Cassandra and I come from Slovenia.

She lifts up her little tiny orange coloured t-shirt, and her boobs fall out. They come down as stars from a clear night sky, no need for a single wish though, she is here to fulfil them all. Her pronunciation is trough and trough shit but who cares when you do threesomes?

- I am 20 years old and my boobs is 42 double D.

She wiggles them, or well… throws them from side to side.

- Do you like it?

If I was directing I’d want a retake for her miss right there at “is” instead of “are”, but than again she’s not here to speak. The director’s name is Georgie, he’s the kind a guy you don’t want to know.

- Don’t give me that boring “another day at work” moan, he’s pounding your darling, pounding you, it feels like fuckin fire.”

Cassandra has no idea of what he is talking about. The six-pack with a meat stick “pounding her” is my badass competition, my shit for brains nemesis. You see today is my big day, this is my shot at porno heaven… make it or break it, lets call it an audition of sorts.

-Who do you think you are? Julia freakin’ Roberts in Notting Hill, we’re not making love, we’re breaking love hun’, give me screams!

Right before we started shooting, right when Cassandra got the name Cassandra and gave up whatever Slavic name she had before. Yeah, no guy wants to fuck someone named Villijana or Krishna, not even if it’s imagination in front of their laptops. I asked her how much English she knew, she said

“Hello my name is Cassandra”

I asked if there was anything else.

“Cum in my face baby.”

I laughed.

She explained after a couple of misunderstandings that she had found the second phrase more useful than the first one.

- Big D what’s up with you today? She’s not your regular girl next door, she won’t go limp at doggy style… This is hardcore man, give me hard fuckin core.

The stick speeds up, trying to be the man we all know from whatever XXX site we go to be losers. His dream is that when you type porn on Google he’ll be the first face to pop up.

Blast, blast, blast… it’s all over for contestant numero uno

“CUT, for fuck sake cut. Can we even use that?”

Georgie throws his script down to the floor, it’s pretty much just plain white paper to make him look professional. “Cassandra” mumbles something in a foreign language and she is handed a cigarette. She pulls a hand trough her black hair while putting her lipstick covered lips around the nicotine saviour. Big D is Tiny D and he pulls up his boxers.

Tape this, Cassandra blowing out some circles of smoke and resting on some purple satin sheets looking up into the ceiling. When in editing make it black and white and you haven’t got porn, you got something artistic… or at least French.

I’m stretching my arms, already done my legs. Ready as can be, coach give me a shot. I’ve been waiting for this for so long, just let me do my thing.

-Georgie, let me do her… I have what it takes.

He goes from top to bottom like a supermarket scanner and says;

- You’re dick is too little.

I look down at my bad boy and answer;

- Well it’s not up.

Georgie flips up his cell phone, it’s one of those you actually flip open.

- Do you have Dr Fill in? Or maybe the Dick-tator?”

I know the names, not the people… the names.

- Well it’s not up Georgie, I can get it up!

He holds away the phone from his ear.

- Look kid, I got an eye for this.

Obviously not.

- He hasn’t got his balls waxed? I pay him money to screw gorgeous fuckin women and he can’t get his balls waxed… Put him with the midget foursome on Thursday.

Georgie slams the phone shut and it flies down his inner pocket.

- Well kid this looks like your lucky day and probably my unlucky one. And though I’m not sure if your mother was the one to help you get that sack smooth and clean… I’m going to give you a chance.

It wasn’t my mother, believe me.

- Thank you sir.

He puts a hand up the air and snaps his fingers.

- Get me lube and some wet tissues… and…

He looks down at my sloppy dick, and I say;

- I don’t need any fuckin Viagra.

He continues to look and lets out a laugh, you can touch the sarcasm.

- I was thinking about some aspirin for my future headache, not even Viagra will save this shit.

Lock and load.