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I want to beat the living fuck out of the guy from the Ball Park Franks hot dog commercial. I haven't felt this violently angry since 9/12/01. I want nothing more than to use my thumbs to dig out the eyeballs of everyone involved in this commercial. I want to bite off noses.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're lucky.

Somebody fucking cheer me up and show me that the world isn't all bad.