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Cheers reboot 2014..Cult Casting Call for the Pilot

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Anothercynic LWAJ's picture Anothercynic LWAJ
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You know what, movies do it all the time, why the hell don't we just reboot sitcoms...So in my first (and I'll guess only ever) attempt for casting, let's reboot Cheers...After all, most Culties probably don't know anything about the original and it's time for a fresh look..Making your way in the world today does still take everything you've got, but just in a different way...So let's get this started..Soooo I'm not clever enough to include pictures of my updated cast..This is a casting call, so please add the new versions where you see fit. Since this is a reboot, we'll have a few new characters as well....

Opening theme Cheers theme song, only done with Steel drums and some reggae beat

Boston's cold and dreary...For 2014 the place where everyone knows your name is a Tiki Bar on the Mythical Key East in the Florida keys...

The original Cheers featured retired baseball player and recovering alcoholic Sam Malone owning a neighborhood bar..Sam was known as Mayday Malone and was relief pitcher who had records for hitting the most batters I believe. But it's 2014. Baseball isn't cool..So today's Sam grew up on Key East but made it big as snowboarder on the pro circuit. He held records for knocking himself unconscious more than any other snowboarder..After a brief pro career he retired back to his home in the Keys..this time ironic because he was a snowboarder and how he's in a tropical climate..(this will be hilarious during the pitch)...

Sam's quite the ladies man and plenty of jokes and episodes feature his pure hounddogedness..We are introduced to Sam and all the colorful Cheers gang when an attractive young Diane Chambers needs a job. She's pretentious and pompous and drives Sam insane because he of course falls in love with her even though he can't stand her....

Old Cast:
Update: Sam and Diane now are young headstrong and have wildly different views. They constantly fight and generally can't stand each other, but they really want to bang so they fall in love...

New Cast: Liberum and Maximillion: Okay so I can't say I'm nailing this..But I got to think this match up would generate friction if not sparks...Or incendiary explosions...Lib's the ladies man, and Six has some strong opinions so let's see what happens.

New Cast Jose Cuervo (JC, J, dog)..Sam's faithful mutt...He helps out at the bar, and can be very intimidating when he wants, though that's generally just something he does to amuse himself..He has lots of background shots, and occasionally takes beers to customers while stealing their conch fritters off the table...he hates Rebecca Howe and is scared to death of Carla..

Old Cast-Carla is street smart, headstrong and basically runs the place and keeps everyone in line. She's got the hots for Sammy, but mostly purely physical..She's a little scary

New Cast: Pepper..This is a much hotter Carla obviously..But she's street smart and sassy and keeps the patrons and JC in line. She's bi but not in a gratuitous or exploitive way, though there is an ongoing joke when she's picking someone to hit on involving a coin toss and "heads or tails" comment..

Update...Another waitress:
Natasha- Natasha (working name but it has to scream FOREIGN) is a tiny but really cute young Romanian who worked on a cruise ship but because of some incredibly complex passport issues got stuck on Key East..She's been working at the bar while desperately trying to return to her home country. She's incredibly smart, speaks ridiculous numbers of languages and is generally seen reading a different book every scene..she's oblivious to her hotness, and her thing is that whenever guys hit on her she simply pretends to not speak that particular language. Zaniness ensues when some of the beach bums are as multi lingual as she is. She also hides a deep crush on someone who works or is always at the bar. We finally find out who in the third season finale where the plot point becomes will she or won't she tell him. After the show jumps the shark, she finally tells him and in the series finale he proposes in front of everyone at the bar..

New Cast: Seriously? You're asking?

Old Cast: Woody the bartender is quite the simpleton espousing folk wisdom that never quite makes any sense..Just the dopey nice guy..

Update: Woody's not dumb anymore. Woody has begrudgingly returned to his hometown before graduate school after studying abroad for years. He's far more cosmopolitan than the tiki bar would normally fit. He dreams of going off to such exotic locales as Montreal, or Cleveland. And is often dismayed by the lack of intellectual stimulation from the bar crowd..Though he usually fits right in...For some never disclosed reason he has a nickname of Fano and occasionally sings, which prompts recurring joke of the bar crowd shouting...,Sing us a song you're the Fano man, sing us a song tonight. Cause we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling alright...

New Cast: Yep...Chris redefine the whole role....

Also a new bartender (since the tiki bar is much bigger)
Bella: Bella's Chris's age and also in school..She's smart, sarcastic, pretty rough on random guys hitting on her,though occasionally swoons at their beachside hotness and runs the other direction.. She torments Woody, Sam and the other bar patrons routinely. She makes fun of Woody's major, and Woody torments her career student status..They have some funny ongoing banter...Probably brother/sisterish...She's disgusted that her name was coopted by Twilight and occasionally makes random studs cry for Twilight themed pick up lines. Despite an almost neurotic sense of privacy in season 6 she allows her boyfriend to hang out at the bar...

New Cast: label zilla

Season 6:
Rebecca Howe
After Diane leaves in a contract dispute, Sam sells the bar to some corporate conglomerate who keeps him on to run it. They bring in Rebecca Howe to manage him. Rebecca is a smart no nonsense business woman climbing the corporate ladder, and always attracted to her bosses that can help her career. Sam hits on her all the time with it going nowhere. Rebecca has disdain for where her career has taken her , and of course this provides plenty of plotlines.

Update: Rebecca is now a completely put together amazingly organized and altogether sweet southern belle. Her accent is adorable. But don't fret, she regularly keeps Sam and the rest of the gang in line with her charm and all together wowness, and liberal does of ending her conversations with the other characters with "Blesssss your heart"...Often the crowd finishes this line for her. Two things of note...while she has charmed everyone into submission she has an ongoing territory dispute with JC...She's reasonably terrified of him and several episodes makes very elaborate plans to get rid of him..In the Thanksgiving episode on the 9th season she invites everyone to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. The home of course is immaculate and perfect but she never let's anyone into one of the back rooms. Rumors and such are that she keeps bodies of her former co workers there etc. As the episode closes and everyone leaves we see Rebecca making an extra plate of food and taking it out back to a waiting JC who is happily wagging his tale..She walks back in the house to the back room, opens the door to the biggest fucking mess you have ever seen in your life. Months old cheetos on the floor, a hideous recliner held together with duct tape, you name it..She plops down on the chair, JC jumps in her lap, licks her face and scene fades out..

New Cast:The one and only...Alecia...

Norm and Cliff
The barflys..Norm the super likeable happy go lucky guy who's perfectly happy to spend his life at the bar. His Normism insights are incredibly quotable, and he loves protecting the traditions of the bar.especially the ones that get him another beer. ..Cliff the know it all who always has some interesting fact to add to the conversation...

New Update: They're a little younger and hipper...Cliff's not a mailman anymore, instead he's an Apple Genius...Norm's thinner and much more work oriented,but still likable and clever.

New Cast: Crescendo for Norm, Endless/Handosme/anyother variation of Mike for Cliff

Update: New barflys, because it's a bigger bar...These two are a little older than the rest of the bar crowd..They have some Cliff and Norm similarities but have their own personalities and idiosyncrasies..One of them is a fisherman so leaves for a few months every so often, the other will disappear without any explanation then just be back..The show's never seem quite as good when they aren't there. I sort of picture them like this...but not so much...

New Cast: Nate, Tuffy, Captain, Nate, Tuffy, any and all variations or manifestations...

Frashier Crane
Frashier was at one time Diane's boyfriend/fiance during her on again off again relationship with Sam. A psychiatrist, Frashier was a fish out of water in the bar being somewhat pompous and erudite, but was one of the great TV characters in my opinion. He also went on to his own series and as such tied the record for most seasons portraying the same character...

New Update: Prior to season 6 Frashier is only an occasionally vaguely talked about boyfriend of Bella's. She begrudgingly introduces him to the bar as his nickname FC and the enterprising Bella will only allow people to guess his real name for a twenty dollars a guess. While not as stuffy as the original, Frashier is still a bit of fish out of water causing of course, more zaniness...

New Cast: Me

New Update: Gordon, Sam's agent from his pro days. This recurring role pops in the bar to check on Sam, occasionally soliciting him for other zany adventures or otherwise creating some plot line...It's enough of a role to get him in the finale...

New Cast: Furleyguy...who besides this recurring cameo role is also the executive producer and musical director.

So...that's out of my system....Plenty of room for recurring roles and guest appearances for all..