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And now, I'd like to solve the economic crisis and nuclear proliferation, both, in one fell swoop!

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The grand old second amendment! The one where it says we Americans should have the right to own any guns we want. With no limit on how big or how many.
So should a person be able to buy a nuclear missile if they want too? I say, "Hell yes!"

If they got enough money to buy one and can show that they can take care of it, go right ahead.
Only problem is, not a lot of people are going to have the funds to buy them, so we sell them to big corporations!

It could be like those Adopt-a-Highway programs, where some company kicks in a couple hundred million bucks and in return they get their logo plastered all over a nuclear weapon like some insane Nascar hot rod and all the bragging rights that go along with it.

Imagine some company buying the naming rights to some sports venue, only there's no limit to how many stadiums you could own.
Coke and Pepsi could rival the US and Russia during the height of the Cold War, meanwhile eliminating the national debt.

I see this helping out with the economy in they'd be paying for all the upkeep and whatnot for the bombs, maybe even have it to where all the employees at the government facilities now become employees of the company that bought it (You could even maybe get Wal-Mart to unionize this way). Then all that money we, as taxpayers throw at that can come back to us, to where we'd be able to throw it all back into the economy buying 3D TVs and 3D Playstations and 3D Chess Sets, and the like.

The only downside I see is that we would have to keep all the regulatory committees, just to make sure the company isn't trying to save some money on safety and their bomb "accidentally the whole environment."
Another downside is that I don't know shit about how many or what kind of weapons or how they are kept or any of those specifics, so it might not work anyhow, but still, it's a hell of an idea.