Chuck's Audio Blogs
These are from Chuck's 2003 "Diary Tour". There are currently no plans for future blogs.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey this is Chuck.
I want to thank everybody who showed up at the Conan O'Brien Show and yelled and screamed while I was absolutely terrified. The place is freezing cold, because I guess David Letterman always wanted it that way. It is really a trip. It is nothing like I have ever done before. It was absolutely terrifying. So hey, thanks a lot. I think I got a cold from Quentin Tarantino, so um, I shouldn't have drank out of his cup. But what the hell, I guess everyone got that cold now. So thank you so much for showing up. I appreciated the support.
I am back at work now. I'm going to be answering mail until December 14th--is the cut off date. Because after December 14th, I really need to get back to work on books. But after that, my extra energy is going to go into supporting the workshop and providing the minimalist lectures on the different distinctions that will be posted on a regular basis on the workshop.
Tonight is November 4th, and I am in Eugene, Oregon, doing an event for the University of Oregon Bookstore. That is at WOW Hall at 7 o'clock. WOW Hall is Workers of the World Hall and that is at 8th and Lincoln. 8th and Lincoln. Eugene, Oregon.
Other than that, I'm back to work until December 14th. So if you're going to send a letter and if you want an answer back, send it by December 14th.
Thanks.
Friday, October 17, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
Back in Portland, living my life before I go to New York for Conan O'Brien.
I am flogging through a small mountain of mail right now and it’s just fantastic, I loving almost every letter, almost every letter and I’m going to respond to almost every letter. But there is a little pattern forming and if you are writing just because you want something, just because you want a box full of whatever, please don’t write, okay? I’m doing this because it’s fun for me, but when people send a note saying “Hey, send me stuff.” and sign their name, that’s not really the kind of letter I wanna get, that’s not really any kind of communication. I do it because I like to do it, I don’t do it because people demand stuff. So, sorry, it’s all about me. But that’s being honest, okay? Making it fun for me.
The other thing is, boy, if your going to send a manuscript, I’m not sure how much help I can be to you, You know, maybe I can refer you to agent or an editor, but you know, I think if you imagine I carry a lot more weight then I actually do and I don’t.
I’m not sure if I can anybody’s book published, I’ve tried that with a lot of my friends. I have sent tons and tons of my friends work into people I know and most of it has been shot down. So I don’t carry a whole lotta weight. So you might think again before you send me any sort of manuscript, because I really can’t help you out to much.
But otherwise, I love getting the letters. It’s going to take me awhile to answer most of them, but maybe you’ll see something by Christmas. Otherwise, thank you very much and Conan O'Brien on October 30th, is probley gonna be the last sort of public thing I do, after that I’m in Eugene, for the University of Oregon book store, on November 4th. So that’s November 4th in Eugene Oregon and beyond that, I am free to go back to writing.
Talk to ya’ later, Thanks.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is me again, only five minutes later.
Just as proof that life does go on. I wanted to make it very clear; that I miss represented, because I miss remembered some of the details about Karen’s private life. I deeply regret doing that, It was something that I did out of anger and fear, and it was something I did inaccurately, it’s something I wish I had not done.
So, that is that and I’ve got a taxi to catch.
So, you have a good morning again.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
Calling from England, where it’s been a whole busy day and boy, a day of misgivings, you know I’ve never done this writer thing before and I have no idea how to manage any of it, I just thought I could do it without being the center of attention, so apparently that’s gonna be a lot harder then I thought it would be.
I would like to ask, in the meantime I’m gonna try and relax and I would like to ask everybody else to relax and back off a little bit from Entertainment Weekly, Um…Yeah, that’s all I can ask.
I’m gonna try and relax about this and if you all would try and relax as well, I would appreciate that. I’m just taking it one day at a time, trying to get through this and got three events in London this week so maybe I’ll see ya’. But, let’s just back off, relax and not kill anybody and call it good.
I’ll talk to you later, Bye.
Monday, September 22, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
I leave for Europe in about two hours, so this going to be maybe the last blog for awhile. In the meantime, I have heard of a couple people, including Amy Himple. That letters that are being sent to Doubleday are not being forwarded, in fact I got no mail through Doubleday, all mail I got is from Donadio & Olson, the agency. So, if you sent through Doubleday, you might wanna send again through Donadio & Olson and that address is on the website, I will talk to Doubleday and see what’s gone wrong at their end, but I appreciate it, I am answering the mail as fast as I possible can, but I’m a little slow because I’m just not here to get it.
I will talk to you later, I hope to either see you in England, Italy or maybe even the Netherlands and I will post those appearance dates on the blog as so as I know the details.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
I am calling from the states right now, the new news is that I am going to be on the Conan O'Brien Show and that either going to be October 29th or October 30th. I will let you know the exact dates as soon as I know it, so I don’t know how you can go about getting tickets for Conan O’Brien, but if I find out, I will also leave you that information, October 29th or 30th; and then on the way home, I will be at least stopping off in Austin Texas, to do a book event with Jessie Jessup who’s got the radio show down there, so it’s sorta a Halloween book event in Austin Texas on the way back from Conan O’Brien, the 29th and 30th , of October.
This week I’m gonna be in England of all places, so the first book event is going to be at the Borders book store in Cambridge and that is 1213 Market Street in Cambridge and that is Wednesday night at… 7pm, Wednesday night at 7pm. That’s Wednesday September 24th, after that I’m going to be Thursday night, Thursday the 25th, 7pm at Foil’s book store and Foil’s is at 113 Chairing Cross Road in London, Foil’s books store 1 Chairing Cross Road at 7pm, The tough thing about Foil’s is that it only holds about two hundred people and their selling tickets, so it may already be sold out, but there you go, that’s Thursday night. Friday night, I’m going to be again in Great Britain, so that is Friday September 26th, and the event is going to be in Leeds, so I’m going to be in Leeds on Friday and the event is at the Borders book store, boy, a lot of Borders book stores, at number 94 Briggate, so that’s 94 Briggate in Leeds at 7pm.
So, that is my week, and I’ll let you know about the actual Conan O’Brien dates as soon as I find out.
Talk to you later, Bye.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
I am back home for a little bit and that heavy breathing you hear in the background is my dog, but I am home before I leave for the U.K., for Italy and the rest of Europe; And I’m hoping, the rumor is that I’m going to be on Conan O'Brien, toward the end of October and I’m gonna try and work it that they tack some book appearances on the trip coming and going. Maybe I can do Texas and finally met Jessie Jessup in person and maybe they can stop me off some other places, so everybody can hear ‘GUTS’, before it comes out in Playboy.
Anyway, It looks like ‘GUTS’ is set for February or March in Playboy, despite the great deal of objection from some Playboy staff, who feel the story is just to extreme.
Other than that, I just came home to a small mountain of mail, and so if you sent me mail, don’t look for an answer for a month, maybe six weeks, maybe two months. Just because there is so much of it, but I’m gonna go by the post mark and try to get to the oldest stuff first.
Besides that, that’s the mail that’s the Conan thing, as soon as I have dates, places and times for appearances in Great Britain, I will start talking about those and other than that, I’m gonna get my haircut today.
So, life goes on and I will talk to you later, Bye.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
I am calling from the Pittsburgh Airport and I am happy to be going home at the end of tour. Again, I want to apologize to the folks last night, who where treated by the University like cattle. I was willing to say as late as I could and sign everybody, pose for everything and shake every hand, but the renta-cops employed by the University of Pittsburgh threw me out of the building, first time I have been throw out of a event. So, if you were treated like cattle, I would encourage you to file a complaint with the University of Pittsburgh, please do, file one for me.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
It is September 16th and I am in Pittsburgh and it was a terrific event, two more people have blacked out, So we’re now up to twenty seven; at the end of the U.S. tour.
Boy, I apologize for how this evening went, the event itself was terrific, but the book store had arranged for a bunch of renta-cops, who threw us out at 10:30. So, the signing part at the end turned into…The evacuation of Saigon, okay. It was just a misery, I’m sorry I had to sign through everybody so fast and I’m sorry I had to be an asshole and I’m sorry the book store didn’t explain that the renta-cops where throwing us out at 10:30 and I’m sorry I got thrown out of that building, because I would loved to have stayed, signed and met everybody and of been a real prince about it, which is the way I always wanna be. But anyway, minim wage renta-cops threw us out, otherwise I would have said Hi and I’m sorry that I was an asshole in the face of that, but I ended up thrown out at the same time everybody else did.
Anyways, that’s that.
We’re at twenty seven and now I take ‘GUTS’ to Europe, next week.
I will talk to you later, Bye.
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
I am calling from Pittsburgh, I’m going to be reading ‘GUTS’ tonight for the very last time, on this U.S. tour for Diary and I’m going to be reading ‘GUTS’ tonight at 8:30, that’s 8:30 at the University of Pittsburgh and it’s at Alumni Hall, which is on 5th avenue. University of Pittsburgh, Alumni Hall, 8:30.
So, I hope I see you there; it is a free event open to the public.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
audio post powered by audblogHey good morning, this is Chuck.
And last night the reading for ‘GUTS’, on the Diary tour was in here in Washington D.C. and it filled the press club, the very elegant wood-paneled press club; got to hear ‘GUTS’ and nobody passed out. So doing a long cautionary introduction seems to work, nobody passed out and people laughed the entire way through, so, thank you very much.
Tonight’s reading, after a grand total of hmm…three hour’s sleep. Is in Pittsburgh, this is the last reading of the Diary tour here in the U.S., unless somehow I get called back out on tour. But tonight in Pittsburgh, what wha…is this? Tuesday night, it’s…right, Tuesday night, September something…September sixteenth I think, Yeah. So, Tuesday night September 16th, Pittsburgh, It’s at the University of Pittsburgh and it’s on 5th avenue and what’s called Alumni Hall.
So, tonight, the University of Pittsburgh, Alumni Hall on 5th avenue and the reading time is 8:30, so eight thirty Alumni Hall, 5th avenue, University of Pittsburgh and that’s all I could tell ya’ because that’s all I know.
So, I will see you tonight and if you don’t catch me tonight, well you could catch me next year maybe.
I’ll talk to you later, Bye.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
audio post powered by audblogey, this is Chuck.
Right now I am in New York City. I just read this afternoon, Sunday September 14th at Columbia University, this afternoon at 3:00.
Boy, I am less and less proud of the body count, but two more people passed during the reading of the short story, both of them men and the second man it was very upsetting, he blacked out, he shouted unconscious and he vomited. So, in addition to that, It cost four-hundred dollars to take him…no, five-hundred dollars to take him four blocks to the Hospital and his folks had to come from outside the city to come to collect him. So, boy, I’m not really proud of that, but I’m going to start warning people before each event, just how much has happened around this story.
I’m reading tomorrow, Monday, at Olson’s book store in Washington D.C., and again I’m going to make an announcement so that folks can leave the room if they start getting to upset.
After tomorrow, I’ll be reading in Pittsburgh on Tuesday. So, that will be Pittsburg on Tuesday the 16th.
Again, this is Chuck and on another note, If your sending packages, please don’t send them through Donadio & Olson or Doubleday, because neither the agency or publisher are forwarding packages and chances are if you send more then a letter, It’s just gonna stay at either Doubleday or Donadio; And if you do send a letter, please make sure that you do put your return address on the letter, incase it’s removed from the envelope before it gets to me.
Anyway, twenty five people.
Tomorrow is Washington D.C., Tuesday is Pittsburgh and do not send packages.
Thanks a lot, bye.
Friday, September 12, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
Just finished the Barns & Noble, on Union Square in Manhattan and two people dropped to the floor, god bless them. So we are now up to twenty three, the body count is twenty three.
I’m going to be at Columbia University, in the Rune Arledge Auditorium, 3:00 on Sunday. So if you wanna hear ‘GUTS’ that is Columbia University, Rune Arledge Auditorium, 3:00 this Sunday.
You have a good night, and for the guy who wanted something obscene, well don’t you know that’s fucking illegal? To use this, to sample this, to put on your answering machine, so fuck off!
Thanks a lot.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey good morning, this is Chuck.
I am in Los Angeles about to go to, Kansas City for an event tonight, which would be September 10th. God only knows what day of the week this is; and last night at the Library, we had two people pass out, and one was both guys, both guys that hit the carpet this time and one was a guy Phil, and Phil, thank you very much for coming back afterwards and letting us know that your okay.
Phil and his very beautiful girlfriend/wife I don’t know, Left, and she was in tears, it was really a upsetting little moment, but I’m glad that Phil is okay and the other gentlemen got a couple steps out of the hall, into the bathroom, before he passed out; and woke up on the bathroom floor.
So, two more people, that brings us to what? Nineteen people now, so nineteen, and tonight is Kansas City and last night I got to meet Craig Clevenger; and boy, I’m on four hours of sleep today.
I’ll see you later, Bye.
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
audio post powered by audblogHey, this is Chuck.
It is 7:45 in the morning in San Francisco and I’m about to catch flight for Los Angeles.
As of last night in Berkley, we are up to a body count of fifteen. That’s one-five. People have passed out during the events, So we’ve got fifteen people passed out, we’ve got me sprayed with whip cream, we’ve got one person vomiting in the isle and a whole bunch of people leaving in tears. So, boy, in my book that’s a big success.
So, let’s keep it up.
Thanks a lot and I hope I see you either in Los Angeles tonight, which is Tuesday night or in Kansas City the next night, which is Wednesday night.
Thanks a lot, Bye.
Saturday, September 06, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck.
So far the Diary tour has a body count of five. So, five people have passed out during the readings for the Diary tour, if you wanna see what it’s about, come to one of the events. Check it out on the website.
I swear to god, two people at Powell’s, two people at Borders and one person today. Hit the floor, in a pile. It’s that kind of a story and I’m just loving it.
Hope to see you there, I wanna make you pass out too.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck.
Just wanted to say, thank you so much for putting your names and addresses on the letters, it’s making it much, much easier for me to do this, and I have fewer orphaned letters, that I have no idea who sent them. So, perfect. Doing a great job, I’m getting the mail turned around as fast as I can, because I don’t wanna just do it in a really lazy way, but if I miss yours, I will get to it right after tour.
In the meantime, I’m sending a lot of stuff out almost everyday.
So thanks a lot, I will see you on tour, and hey, you know, I’ve quit sweating over that Salon thing, in fact, I think its sorta cool, I think maybe I was just getting a little to much love, It’s nice to know there’s still somebody who doesn’t like me…other than my family.
So, talk to you later, Bye.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck.
There’s going to be a book event, a chance to drop by and say hello, tomorrow in Vancouver.
So that is going to be tomorrow, the 22nd, that’s Friday the 22nd, At the Chapter’s Book store. This is on the corner of Robson and Howe Street. Robson and Howe from 2:30 to 5:30, swing on by and say hello, and I will be sitting at a little table and happy to meet you, tomorrow from 2:30 to 5:30 at the Chapters, downtown in Vancouver, BC. Corner of Robson and Howe.
So you then, Hope you can make it, Bye.
Monday, August 18, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck.
Thanks for checking for the blog again. Right now I am completely wrapped up and loving the best book I have read in years. It is called ‘The Contortionist Handbook’ by Craig Clevenger. Dennis Widmyer sent me a copy and I swear to god, this is the best book I have read in easily five years or easily maybe ten years.
The Contortionist Handbook, by Craig Clevenger. It looks like it’s just a hardcover right now but it is a damn fucking great book!
Talk to you later, Bye.
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck.
I am home right now, just before the Diary tour and I am packing the boxes of stuff to give away for the best questions. So if you want something hand made, by me. Some piece of crap that you could sell on eBay, then have a really great question. Because I am just busting ass right now, to bring the best things to each book event.
I’ll talk to you later, Bye.
Sunday, August 03, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck again.
I like nothing better than answering every single letter I get.
Whether I get them through the agency or whether I get them through the publisher, but one thing that is breaking my heart lately is folks who write and they don’t put their return address on the letter, because most times, by the time I get the letter there is no envelope and there’s no return address and I can’t answer those letters, so if your gonna write, put your address as clearly as you can write it, really clearly. On the letter itself and you will get an answer, I swear to god!
Send it to the agency or to Doubleday. It seems that the ones that are sent to the agency, Donadio & Olson, In New York. Get to me a lot faster. But I swear to god, I just sent off fifty packages today and there is nothing I love better than doing this, I do it all myself, I write the letters myself and the other thing that pisses me off is when people write back saying, your staff or your marketing people sent me a great package. Nobody does that except for me! That is my work, because I love doing it.
So, put your address on the letter and write it really, really clearly. I am half blind already.
Thanks a lot, you have a good day. Bye.
Friday, August 01, 2003
audblog audio postHey, this is Chuck, and I have just been terrible at this audioblog. I just finished the last official event for Fugitives and Refugees in Seattle and now I have a stretch of days where I have to look for European film crews to come to Portland and do specials about Portland.
Uh wow, I’m also answering a pile of fan mail, so keep it coming; I turn it around as fast as I can.
Oh and also, hey! A lot of folks are writing back and saying whoa, you must have a big staff, who writes those letters and packs those boxes; and nothing pisses me off more than that!
Because it is just me writing these letters and me packing these boxes. Hey sorry, this isn’t Santa’s workshop, it’s just me, and I sorta get a kick out of doing it.
So, that’s it for today. I still have the kidney stones and I will talk another time.
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