So here he lies at the last.
The deathbed convert.
The pious debauchee.
Could not dance a half measure, could I?
Give me wine, I drain the dregs and toss the empty bottle at the world.
Show me our Lord Jesus in agony and I mount the cross and steal his nails for my own palms.
There I go, shuffling from the world.
My dribble fresh upon the bible.
I look upon a pinhead and I see angels dancing.
Well? Do you like me now?
Do you like me now?
Do you like me now?

Do you like me... now?

Allow me to be frank at the commencement.

You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on.

Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats.

I think the hunt for red october is a pretty cool guy. he has a submarnie and doesn't afraid of anything.

Every year, I'll try to buy a pack of baseball cards just for old times sake and to see what the design and whatnot of them look and feels like.

It's usually just ONE pack though. Because the prices on them are just freaking outrageous nowadays.
I just got one for 2009 Topps. 36 cards for 4.99! Jesus! I used to get 18 cards for 35 cents! And they had Pete Rose in those packs!

Anyways, I opened it up and there was Ryan Braun, David Ortiz, Tim Linecum, Brandon Webb, Manny Ramirez, Joey Votto and an Evan Longoria rookie card!
I about shit mah pants!

It almost made me want to go back and buy another pack.

Almost.

I'm thinking about writing a sequel to Pygmy, only it's all done in that I can has cheezeburger voice. Whatcha think?