2 peaches make a pear
and I am married to my favorite Ryder.
I am forgiveness, all and everyone,
The South has risen,
And I am done.
Free at last
The last cry
It doesn't matter why.
I have the life I wanted,
However hard
Or haunted
I have the man I love
No matter how imperfect,
Or complicated
Perhaps the truth is overrated,
I don't know.
I can say this,
In truthfulness,
I loved, in some way,
Everyone,
And wished them well,
And wished them the best
And wished them happiness.
I wanted a fairy tale,
But didn't think about the wickedness,
That often comes with those,
I wanted Prince Charming,
And I got him, thorns and all,
No matter what I can't recall,
Or even,
What I can.
And even if I do not understand.
Whatever else anyone has been,
I've been true to me,
True to him,
And done the best I could,
And know everyone else has too.
And if this world was not reality, or is not,
Parts of it have been so real to me,
And I wouldn't change it,

The Scream August 4, 2008
I want to scream. I can feel it wound up too tight in my chest like a spring, set to snap with one more twist and I keep twisting and it doesn’t cut loose, it just winds around again, pushing harder on my breast bone. What does that say about me anymore? I wonder…
Walking through liquid walls into elaborate landscape deja-vu, looking for pieces of you, looking for blue feathers, butterflies and white rabbit tattoos, golden rings of promised things, arrows to the escape hatch, anything to cling to. The trees hang with unfinished dreams and schemes and plans, with undone Sugar Plum Fairies with hangovers and smokers coughs. All the little sparks from the fires in the wishing wells chase into the night in search of real air, in search of atmosphere enough to make them feel like they still sparkle. The moon has blushed at the mess.

Tiger Lily 3-2009

You don’t know the way I’ve broken for you,
You don’t know what this has done to me,
This love,
This longing,
This belonging
To you,
For so long,
You don’t know how much I love,
How much I can,
What I am capable of,
What I give,
What I am,
How I hope,
What I dream,
You don’t know how I pray for salvation,
From things I know
And wish
I could make it right for you,
Without it being wrong
For me,
Or someone
Somewhere.
You don’t know,
How I love you still,
In ways there are no words for,
In ways you never heard before,
And wouldn’t understand,
Wendy to your Peter Pan,
What will I do?
What would you want for me?
Sleep easy,
Sleep easy,
I’ll tell you a story…

from my third book GOLD MINE available on lulu.com